"Envy is a bad feeling," we often joke and do not suspect how much it can be destructive. However, modern science and technology are developing by leaps and bounds. And their main motor is competition - the sister of envy. Why does she prevail over us? How to get rid of it? Why are we envious? Where and when is this feeling born? We will reflect on this and another below.
Definition
Envy is a feeling of discrepancy with the object of envy in whole or in separate aspects. The desire to get what your neighbor does not have, pushes people to a variety of actions and causes emotions and is physically felt like a burning sensation in the chest and in the frontal part of the head. This vice generates the strongest emotions and, not being able to direct them in the right direction, you can lead your life to collapse. But, having taken them under control, you can grind and redraw yourself to a state that will surpass the object of envy. This is a positive quality of this drawback.
The Seven Deadly Sins
As you might have guessed, envy is among the top 7 deadly sins. Like the other six, it creates a dark atmosphere in the soul and does not give the opportunity to enjoy what is happening, enjoy life, think soberly, and drags other vices.
Envy is an evil that provokes a state of despondency and despair. But this is also a mortal sin. There is a good phrase that clearly characterizes the whole essence of envious people: "A person does not need much to be happy, the main thing is that others have less."
There is a parable about a selfish and envious man; its essence is as follows: one of the Greek kings was interested to know which of these people is worse. He said that they can ask for anything, but the second will get twice as much as the first. There was no answer. Then the king turned to the envious, and he asked ... to poke one eye out to him, so that the mercenary would be left without both.
All come from childhood
So where could such a truly terrible vice come from? Children who were given the example of their more successful peers, in every possible way limited their abilities, humiliated, did not give the opportunity to throw out their positive and negative emotions, did not organize their personal space or categorically invaded it, told about life as a terrible test without truth and justice, taught to poverty, they condemned wealth, were not allowed to share their happiness with the world in order to avoid envy, even if they gave a lot of material wealth, but no personal rights to them (here's an expensive doll for you, but op does not wear, her friends do not show, do not blow it, do not get dirty, it turns out that this doll that is, that it does not exist). Such personalities fall into envious gloom the fastest.
If the child does not have a sense of his own fullness, need, in most cases envy grows in him. Why is it so important to make it clear to the child that he is worth something, that he is being listened to? In order for him to grow into a full member of society. Full-fledged people are happy, and happiness is not the absence of all problems, but the ability to quickly solve them at a high level. Happy people cannot be jealous. A priori they cannot, because they live in a different, more correct reality.
If a child knows from childhood that he is not worthy of all the other people, he involuntarily begins to envy everyone, since he does not have what the others have: the necessary knowledge, beautiful clothes, expensive accessories, villas, gadgets, etc. Even having reached a certain level, he will not be happy, as there is someone better, more successful or more beautiful. And so the feeling of envy grows into a lifestyle and draws other vices. Everything is interconnected.
White and black envy
There is such a thing as "white envy." In Islam and some Christian theologians, it is interpreted as permissible. Although we have already said that envy, malice is bad.
When you envy in black, you unwittingly desire something bad for a person. And white envy is when the ātoad smothersā, but there is no negative message.
Someone interprets it as joy for the neighbor, as a division of his joy. The world, apparently, has deteriorated so much that it is not possible to believe in the sincere joy of your neighbor for your successes.
No, definitely such people still exist, but why then does the bad word "envy" appear here?
Let's say your dream is to visit Miami. You strive for it in every possible way, save money, select outfits, and you probably know that sooner or later you will go there, as everything goes to this. Suddenly you find out that your friend and girlfriend are already there and post a photo on Instagram? Now at this moment, if you are not a completely lost individual, envy in white.
If you do nothing to achieve your dream, sit back and complain about life, then such a situation can give rise to black envy in you.
You need to be able to switch. After all, switching the āleverā from white to black envy depends on ourselves, on the efforts, beliefs and unspoken laws that we follow.
They rejoice for you, but envy in your soul
This is a very common phenomenon among educated people. The feeling when you want to kill for such a blatant success is hidden behind a taut smile, which is very easy to recognize.
When a person rejoices with all his heart, his whole face smiles: his mouth, eyes, and cheeks. If only the mouth expands, and the eyes and cheeks are immovable, this can be called an insincere grimace, and if only the eyes remain unchanged, then a person tries to overcome negative feelings, but they take over and absorb him.
Further development of events depends only on education and work on oneself. However, even a careful removal of the envy of feelings by hand, although it is the best outcome, still takes away a lot of vital forces. But there is a way. Itās better to rid yourself of envy once and for all. This will help to find peace of mind and happiness.
Envy and jealousy
Jealousy can be called a synonym for envy, since both are generated by pride. But there is a fundamental difference in them: you are jealous of what you donāt have or cannot have, but you are jealous of what belongs to you.
If during the preparation for the competition you were sure that the first place belongs to you, but suddenly someone else won, at that moment you will feel an emotion of jealousy. If this sensation does not soon go out, it can develop into a stationary feeling of envy.
The nature of envy
To a greater or lesser extent, everyone is subject to this shortcoming, so they say so little about envy. And the one who most often pronounces this word even in the phrase āI am not an envious personā, āI do not envy anyoneā or āI have nothing to envyā is most prone to this vice. This is because other mechanisms and methods to hide this flaw are powerless.
Envy can manifest itself as a momentary emotion and fade away - this is normal, because we are all living people. I saw a beautiful new dress from my friend, startled, was upset, and then I came to my senses and continue to be friends without hating her and not wanting anything bad - this is the norm. Although this feeling was not white at all, he was immediately suppressed by the positive human qualities. Religion would not justify this, but for modern society this is quite acceptable.
If the spark of envy, negative emotion develops into a long-term feeling that sharpens you from the inside, it is much more difficult to overcome, it is it that incinerates a person from the inside.
Gender Envy
In this case, it will be appropriate to draw a gender line, as male envy and female are somewhat different. Girls are more jealous of the external beauty and success among men, and a strong half of humanity - career achievements or skills.
If we talk about who is more prone to this vice, men or women, then the answer will be unequivocal - women. Why?
Because the life position of the girls is passive, and the guys are active. Even if a lady begins to act actively - this is beyond the rules, even if it is considered the norm in the modern world. That is, women act as an object that they value; it is difficult for them to actively influence the situation.
Men are judged by their ability to conquer, by their perseverance. They have the right to actively influence the situation and are even obliged to do so.
However, intergender envy also exists when a girl and a guy begin to fight on the same battlefield. This can be observed among people in creative professions, as art sometimes erases gender boundaries.
To make everyone envious
We have already decided that envy is a bad feeling. But there are people who enjoy being envied and even upset when their deliberate efforts to provoke this negative emotion do not work.
That's not all, sometimes people envy others because they envy them. It turns out that if you evoke a feeling of envy, you are a full-fledged personality, and if not, are you worthless? āDisorder,ā many think, and do things that don't bring them any happiness. And nothing but a sense of envy from the outside.
Spending your life so that you are not condemned, but rather envied, breaks the moral framework of the generation of mankind, which is measured in billions of people.
What could be worse than living an unhappy life for others in spite? The envy of a friend or friend can once and for all break up relationships and break fortunes, is it worth it?
Social networks - provocateurs of envy
āSocial networks are designed to communicate with friends and relatives,ā you say. Yes, this is partly true, perhaps they were invented for this good purpose, but the human being redrawn them to maintain his ego.
After all, the content that a user posts on his page is regulated by him. And no one wants to show themselves for the worse, their weaknesses, paint their failures (not counting the total grumblers who revel in this). On the pages we see only all the best, refined, retouched, selected and blown.
Other users who are not able to watch this person daily are sure that his life consists of holidays alone. In contrast, the bright flashes of the biographies of others overshadow their own existence even more. The feeling of inferiority intensifies, the person is depressed.
Anyone who feels the taste of remote manipulation of people enters into courage and posts more and more envious photos and does not notice that his life revolves only around pictures, and his mood depends on their quality and the number of likes. So they become hostages of envy.
Etymology of the word "envy"
Let's understand its meaning. It is believed that the word envy did come from seeing. Allegedly, to see beyond the aisles of what is permitted, more than what should be. Perhaps the word came from the "evil eye" that sees.
How to get rid?
Envy is inherent in everyone, but in some it manifests itself as an emotion, a flash, while it grinds others daily for years and eats mental and physical health.
Both that, and another cannot be justified, but let it better flare up and go out, than will manage the person all his life. It is best and most effective to deal with this shortcoming at an early stage.
- You need to value yourself as you are, not to succumb to the efforts of others to lower your self-esteem or express yourself at your expense.
- Listening to the advice of elders is good, but you cannot stupidly follow it. If you donāt want to enter the law faculty or feel that you will not become a highly qualified specialist in this field, then there is no point in breaking your life.
- It is necessary to set different goals and achieve them.
- To be happy.
- Become a master in some business.
- Do not compare yourself with others.
- Do not justify yourself and do not reproach for nothing.
- Learn to replace envy with admiration.
Rapture instead of envy
Just one step from hatred to love, and from envy to admiration. Best of all, if such a mechanism has been brought up since childhood, then the child grows into a full-fledged member of society, knows his own worth, does not give offense, and, most importantly, this poisonous feeling does not eat him up from the inside.
Masha has a new doll? Rejoice for her, because you would be pleased if your girlfriend would be happy for you in that case. Imagine that Masha is you. If she is pleased, then you should be pleased. Are you girlfriends?
Petya got 5 in math, but you donāt? He just knows mathematics well, and you write poetry very well. Each has his own talent, and you are gifted no less than Petit. Gather on the weekend and exchange your skills.
Everyone has his own talent.
This phrase saves many from blind envy. Indeed, if the fish rated themselves on a catās scale, there would be no end to their envy: they canāt climb trees, instead of wool they can scale, they cannot meow and all the time they want to go to the water as soon as possible.
You need to understand who you are, to fully accept this. If you play the violin beautifully, but live in the courtyard, where everyone masterfully chases football, which you absolutely do not like and do not know how to do, you may not know that you are the future great musician.
Do not feed your envy
When this feeling seethes in us, we consciously or not begin to feed it: āSo what, that he is rich, but Iām smarter.ā Such a trick can be applied only to a completely desperate teenager, for an adult, this phrase only "strokes the head."
As a result, we not only do not get rid of this vice, but also feed it. For some time this shortcoming will not make itself felt, and then it will erupt with even greater force. Learn to accept the facts: yes, she is prettier, and thatās normal.
Learn to love people
You need to learn to see in people only the good, but also meekly accept the bad. Give yourself more, help, show altruism. To compliment, to say nice words, to support - it helps a lot.
You are not the center of the universe
It is precisely because we perceive the world around us from the position of our "I" that involuntarily feel ourselves in the center and the most important individual. This applies even to those individuals whose rating is very underestimated.
Thinking that you are the navel of the earth, and that you are not properly treated, life is unfair, because you deserve more, you can go crazy with envy to everything that surrounds you.
Meet your fear
A person whose hands are tied in a psychological sense is more likely to succumb to this vice, because you want to do it, but you can't. And the main reason, oddly enough, is not the lack of talent or ability, but fear.
A person who is afraid lives in a cage; he is not free. There is no freedom - there is no happiness, and unhappy people are most vulnerable to sins.
Don't be afraid of relapse
If with great efforts you get rid of the feeling of envy and it seems that this is forever, do not flatter yourself. The situation can provoke, the main thing is to turn off the light until it flares up.
Do not be afraid if your shortcoming has returned to you, because you know how to deal with it. The main thing is not to give up.
The social benefits of envy
This is a paradox, but many mortal sins are the engines of progress. Thanks to laziness, we know what a car is, a food processor, a phone, an elevator, a robot vacuum cleaner, the Internet, in the end. Gluttony supports and develops the food business, and envy generally holds everything in its hands.
Where would Apple now be if not for human envy and greed? Would we know Coca-Cola if it werenāt for gluttony? A pizza delivery service in general should idolize laziness.