The younger brother complex is a psychological phenomenon that today occupies the minds of many experts. It is expressed in the fact that parents make certain mistakes in raising children. Often they relieve themselves of any responsibility, they can not evenly distribute the load between the two babies. The situation when the second child was born, and the older child begins to suffer from a lack of attention, unfortunately, is not uncommon.
Many parents do not even know what their offspring actually feels. A description of the younger brother complex is presented in this article. The problem itself indicates the lack of education, the wrong approach. Let us consider in more detail what difficulties arise in a family where two brothers grow up.
Jealousy
A younger child is usually given enough time and attention. With the advent of the baby, the older child often feels in something deprived and abandoned. Against this background, jealousy often arises, a desire to somehow attract the attention of parents. An older child chooses inappropriate behavior for this purpose. That is why he has problems at school and kindergarten. Two brothers often become rivals for a long time. Their confrontation may continue for several years until the conflict is completely resolved. Jealousy is very destructive. She is able to spoil the best relations, to question family values.
Non-independence
The complex of the younger brother is expressed in the absence of the desire to achieve something on their own. The child is completely dependent on adults and does not make any attempts to correct the situation. Inadequacy is expressed in everything: in the inability to make decisions, in the reluctance to learn, to discover some perspectives. In most cases, infantile individuals who do not want to take responsibility grow out of non-independent children.
In adulthood, they prefer to live at someone else's expense. Making individual decisions for them becomes unprofitable only because it deprives them of the opportunity to remain “small” for a long time. And this is a very convenient position.
Egocentrism
Younger children often highly value their own personality and at the same time do not respect others. They are so focused on themselves that they do not understand the needs of other people. Excessive egocentrism develops because parents try to solve problems for them and do not accustom themselves to independence. The child gets used to perceive himself as the center of the universe. With any difficulties that arise, he relieves himself of any responsibility for the result.
Younger children often take parental care and attention for granted: they do not value gifts, do not want to participate in family life, and do not seek to be useful. Such excessive isolation on oneself gives rise to egoism, which over time becomes quite difficult to control.
Manipulations
Being a little brother is beneficial. Many children are well aware of the opportunities that open before them due to their position in the family. They understand that by staying “small,” you can get everything you want and are in no hurry to grow up. By resorting to manipulation, the child intends to achieve the fulfillment of all his desires. If parents fulfill every whim, then it becomes easy to manage. Do not think that children are so naive as not to notice. They perfectly recognize the mood of adults, know who and when to approach with specific requests in order to stay in a winning position.
Aggressiveness
In fact, such manifestations are rarely found in their pure form. More often, there is expressed discontent and impatience. The child does not understand what spoils the relationship with others. From childhood, he gets used to permissiveness and tries to achieve what he wants with a cry and numerous demands.
Aggression is his own method, with the help of which the child seeks to get what he wants. Such children do not show tolerance for other people's opinions and often try to assert themselves at the expense of other people. Parents feel guilty before them and try to satisfy any needs.
Solution
In order to overcome the complex of the younger brother, you must constantly work on yourself. It is necessary to overcome numerous fears, doubts, self-doubt. The solution to the problem cannot be carried out in an instant. As a rule, it takes a rather long period of time to acquire new useful skills. Moreover, parents should work first of all, because they are wiser and smarter, they have more life experience.
Attention to children
The first thing to understand: you must try to devote enough time to both children. This will help eliminate any jealousy and overcome the spirit of competition. Remember that each child is unique in its own way. Strive to develop your offspring. Discount for younger age. Do not punish the children too harshly. Give them the opportunity to learn from their own actions and actions. Every boy or girl is worthy of respect. Children who are not deprived of the attention of parents grow more prosperous and happy.
Individual approach
One child cannot be like another. This should not even be expected, much less demand from your child. Even the twins will be somewhat different from each other, although outwardly they are absolutely identical. Raising children, it is necessary to take into account an individual approach. Comparisons, generalizations, and criticisms should be avoided. Parents need to learn how to accept their children as they really are. Using an individual approach, you can achieve much higher results than if you constantly scold and indict.
Thus, the complex of the younger brother is not a problem, but a task that parents need to solve together. True love is able to overcome any obstacles, help to cope with numerous difficulties. Children should feel that they are truly loved and appreciated, and all problems are solvable.