The character of a person is formed from childhood and 90% depends on the surrounding education. Conventionally, people can be divided into active and passive. A passive person is a person who limits himself in his activity, likes to sit aside and watch someone else's life.
Any activity, no matter in which field of activity, causes alarm for such people, as they will have to show themselves, be noticed, and they really do not like it, if possible, they avoid it. And they do it because they have negative experience - ridicule, reproaches, even bullying.
Raising a passive person
Unfortunately, passive people often have parents who are overly domineering, loving to command, not allowing children to show themselves, in every way absorbing their independence and activity. Or parents are completely not interested in the lives of children, cold and indifferent. As an adult, a passive person will constantly feel this influence on himself, and correct his life (breaking the chains of "slavery"), if things go far, it can be much more difficult.
Children who are constantly faced with indifference and restriction have the impression that in order to be active, they need to constantly exert themselves both physically and mentally, and this - as they think - is beyond their strength.
When does passivity form?
A person’s passive state is formed precisely at this moment when he alone, without any participation from the outside, thinks that he will not be able to carry out any task on his own. Such a person’s will is not forged, not developed, he prefers to always be in the shadow, follow someone, obey, be executive, if only he would not be touched, and so on.
Such people, as a rule, do not have their own point of view, do not know how and do not want to defend their position, especially when surrounded by strangers. If the symptoms of passivity become chronic, the person becomes mild and spineless. Gradually, his interest in life is lost, he resigns himself to a sluggish life and falls into despondency and depression.
An active person is always interested in something, strives for something, believes in himself and his abilities. In a word, this is a purposeful person.
Passive people: examples
The great Russian classic Goncharov gave us the classic image of a passive person - Ilya Ilyich Oblomov - and his antipode Andrei Stolz. The novel tells how the active Stolz “woke up” the passive Oblomov, and he even fell in love, but the very first obstacle (moving to the city) unsettled Ilya Ilyich.
There is another example from the classics - this is the story of Anton Chekhov's “Duel”. His hero Laevsky is at first glance a positive, educated young man, but for some reason everyone around him is unhappy, and in the first place he is unhappy. Laevsky persuaded a married woman to run away from her husband and live with him, but as soon as his “love” passes, he is now trying to escape from her.
Another character, von Koren, is a confident, purposeful young man. The author shows two characters - passive and active, but the most interesting is that passive Laevsky ultimately finds the strength to fix his life, and von Koren is still very far away. So a passive person can overcome this state of despondency and insecurity if he wants.
Circumstances and people
Let's look at a few examples of how passive people behave in different circumstances.
- If a tire bursts on a passive person’s path or runs out of gas, he immediately begins to lament that all bad luck happens only to him, instead of showing patience and perseverance in this case.
- They cannot express their opinion directly. They start with the words “well, if it’s possible ...”, “maybe so ...” and so on. Naturally, their position will not be taken seriously.
- They constantly seek approval from the outside, cramming their speech with the words "if you don't mind," "maybe," and so on.
- They constantly belittle their own personality, saying that they are not experts and, probably, do not understand this (in some business) and so on.
- They cannot side with someone in a dispute, thinking that in this way the conflict will become smaller and both sides will receive support, but in fact they will look indecisive and duplicitous.
- Such people always put the interests of others above their own, even if they do not agree with this. They are always inferior, but not because they worry and think about what is near, but to be left alone.
- Often they cannot say the word “no,” and whether they want it or not, they always say “yes.”
A passive person is one who cannot set a specific goal, it is easy to control and deceive such people. Their ideas and goals are so vague and indefinite that they expect someone to solve a problem for them.
A concrete example of passive behavior
For example, a woman came to the store for a purchase. The saleswoman shows her a dress or some other thing that she does not like, but under the pressure of the merchant, she eventually buys the thing she does not need and carries it home.
Why did she do this, because the dress didn’t fit her, or why did she take the cake of the company that the seller pointed to her, and in the end it turned out not so tasty? The fact is that passive people perceive someone else's point of view as a dogma and as pressure from outside, so they want to get rid of it quickly.
At such moments, a passive person does not understand that he has the right to choose, and perceives the opinion of others as mandatory (how not to recall childhood and adolescence). A person does not consciously agree with the opinion of another, but simply thoughtlessly follows him. This is the result of the fact that within such a person a system of values and desires has not been formed. Often, they themselves do not know what they want, cannot manage their own life.
Passive person - what kind of person is this?
A passive person voluntarily refuses to be the creator of his own life. He refuses to act of his own free will in any situation, the line of a passive person is predictable - he does nothing and is waiting for “manna” from heaven. The gift given to us from above to change ourselves for the better and the attitude towards others, a passive person buries in the ground.
Such people usually “wash their hands”, “do not lift a finger” and do nothing without a “kick”. Some passive people make a successful career, but always remain in the shadow of an active person.
The more passive a person is, the more he dreams, indulges in dreams, he likes to plan, but his plans are not feasible, not concrete and not practical. And the man himself laments, saying that here someone is always hindering him or something, but not him.
Conclusion
What are passive people called? Passive people are called inert, inactive, inhibited, indifferent, lack of initiative, lethargic, frozen, sometimes phlegmatic, but this type of people is completely different.
Phlegmatic people include people who are unperturbed, with a firm stance, outwardly showing no emotions, sometimes even lazy ones and so on. In fact, passive people can only look calm outwardly, everything can rage inside them, but they will never show themselves because they don’t want a conflict, they are comfortable in their “warm” swamp, and if they don’t get out of it, then not only to ourselves, but to others will be hurt and uncomfortable.