Today, the problem of consumer relations between people is very relevant for our society. After all, it is hardly possible to find a person who would never have encountered such a phenomenon in his life. Some people had to experience a consumer attitude. And that was hardly their pleasure. Others simply observed such relationships from the outside. But all of them can hardly admit that sometimes they play the role of consumers in the eyes of others and loved ones. Indeed, it is quite difficult to realize. As a rule, this is indicated by the victim, who is tired of the fact that she is constantly used.
What is this - a consumer relationship? This issue should be addressed in more detail. Indeed, this will allow the spouse to understand why the husband is constantly dissatisfied with the role of the eternal breadwinner, and the spouse - why the wife takes offense at him, speaking about the lack of respect and attention. Having learned in more detail that this is a consumer relationship, parents will understand why their generally raised child is not able to pronounce thanks.
The global problem of mankind
Representatives of modern society are often considered adherents of the cult of consumption. Contributes to this constantly increasing level of social benefits. The growth of the consumer relations index quite often manifests itself only through the prism of satisfying certain requests.
People begin to collect things. And they do it only because they can afford it. If something becomes worthless, then, as a rule, we throw it away, acquiring a new item in return. And again, we do this only because we can afford it.
Definition of a concept
Consumerism is a phenomenon that has many negative aspects. This has been said quite a lot. However, all this is not so scary. After all, it’s worse if we are not talking about inanimate objects, which, in fact, are designed to be used, but about the consumer attitude to people. The victims of such a phenomenon, describing the nature of their feelings, often indicate that they feel like an ordinary thing.
A person who shows a consumer attitude to people uses others as a resource. However, he does not care about their feelings and he does not have a desire to give someone something in return. In those cases when the victim begins to realize his position and realizes that everything cannot continue so simply, it is she who takes the initiative and breaks this connection.
However, unfortunately, it is far from always possible to objectively assess the situation. Sometimes the victim lives with the consumer, suffers, but continues to suffer. Sometimes she experiences silently, sometimes she is indignant out loud, but suffers, not fully aware of her position.
Examples of a negative phenomenon
There are various types of consumer relationships. What can they be expressed in? In general, consumption is a process that allows you to fully satisfy your own desires, needs. Moreover, it allows a person to achieve goals using all kinds of means. Judging by definition, consumerism is a phenomenon that we somehow encounter every day in our lives. However, it is not always a problem. Its negative sides appear only when the interests of a certain person are infringed, due to which a person begins to realize his desires.
If you do not take into account the purely material aspect, then the consumer attitude in society is manifested in the following aspects:
- Often, such troubles arise between a woman and a man. At the same time, representatives of the stronger sex use ladies only to ensure that they maintain the comfort of life, satisfy purely physiological needs, have them just for a tick, etc. There are a great many options for such a relationship.
- Sometimes consumers are ladies. They use the representatives of the stronger sex for the sake of their material gain, as well as for the realization of their feminine, etc.
- Another type of consumerism is sometimes the unfair attitude of children to their parents. Moreover, this phenomenon is widespread enough. Parents sometimes do everything possible to bring their child to people. But in the end, the son or daughter not only does not thank them for their efforts, but also reduces all their efforts to nothing.
- Consumer attitudes towards people can often be found in friendship. Almost every person has probably come across this kind of similar phenomenon. After all, there are such friends and girlfriends who appear only when they need something - to lend money, spend the night, etc.
- Consumer relations are also appearing at work. Most often, this phenomenon comes from the authorities. It uses its subordinates, squeezes all the juices out of them, and is not going to pay for it. Or vice versa. A person, being in a leading position, tries to treat everyone in a good way. He respects other people's opinions and interests, but the annoying employee constantly asks to leave home early, not completing the task to the end, as his grandmother allegedly fell ill again.
It should be borne in mind that in the case when any of the types of relations described above towards a person begins to cross all sorts of boundaries, and he feels that he is simply being used, this problem must be resolutely fought.
Consumer attitude to men
In the case of a patriarchal society, all functions of the head of the family are surely assigned to the representative of the stronger sex. At this time, it is believed that a woman should obey the decisions that were made by him. On the one hand, it can be argued that a man is given a very privileged position. However, this medal has its own flip side. Such social roles gradually lead to the fact that the personality traits of the spouses begin to fade. Each of them appears within the clear framework of patriarchal standards.
In such families, both sides are losers. The husband suffers from the fact that he is considered only as a source of income, family welfare and domestic comfort. No one perceives him as a living person with his desires, needs and emotions. Love in such marriages, as a rule, is either absent initially, or rather quickly begins to fade into the background, disappearing.
The consumer attitude towards a man gradually leads to his realization that his wife needs him mainly only for material support. It’s just wonderful when the head of the family is able to pay for a family vacation or give an expensive item to his soul mate. However, it is abnormal if:
- his surprises and presents are taken for granted;
- he never gets anything in return;
- in the absence of an expensive gift, a woman expresses misunderstanding, irritation and expresses resentment;
- Communication with a spouse comes down to only one-sided reproaches with requirements like “you should”.
In such a situation, a man should be aware of whether he is ready to endure such an attitude towards himself for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that it will be possible to re-educate an adult. And if, from the very childhood, the spouse’s head has a certain scenario of family life, where only consumerism finds expression on her part, and where there is no mutual respect, support and sympathy, then her approach to this issue can hardly be changed with the help of quarrels , requests and conversations.
It is worth noting that a similar look at the role of men in family relationships is sometimes developed by a lady already married. This happens due to the fact that the spouse is the first to begin to relate to his soul mate. He deprives her of the right to vote, making important decisions, and also demands that the wife unconditionally perform "typically female" functions, raising children, working around the house, etc. This is why he forces the spouse to relate to him in a similar way.
Consumer attitude to women
Many husbands sometimes do not even notice that they themselves create relationships in the family that are more similar to slaveholding than to love. Such representatives of the stronger sex do not care about the mood of his wife. It does not matter to them how the people around look at their soul mate.
The consumer attitude of a man to a woman is expressed in the fact that the spouse never helps her in solving everyday issues and problems. The main thing for him is the order in the house, the cooked food and the fact that the mother is engaged in raising children. But all this, they believe, should happen without their participation.
Wives in such families constantly complain about their lives in various forums, go to psychologists, and seek support from friends. They are not satisfied with the indifference of the husband, his detachment and misunderstanding of the situation. However, conversations directly with the head of the family do not yield any positive results. Indeed, the consumer attitude to women in these men takes place precisely because they do not see in her a person who has their own beliefs, desires and habits. For them, the spouse is a slave who lives for the fulfillment of his whims. To achieve a woman's respect and normal attitude towards herself is usually very difficult.
How to explain such a consumer attitude? This phenomenon can not always be due to the high salary of the husband or his social status. After all, it often happens that a spouse who brings much less money to the family than his other half, and is less busy with other matters, all the same strives to shift all domestic problems to the fragile shoulders of his partner. And a similar phenomenon can be observed quite often. Most often, the foundations of such relationships are laid in boys in early childhood. Unfortunately, not all parents can understand in time that their child seeks only to receive from life, without giving anything to people in return.
Often a woman does not understand why she was so unlucky with her husband. She is trying to find the answer to the question of what is she doing wrong. But the reason, as a rule, lies precisely in the man. At the same time, psychologists distinguish three personality types of representatives of the strong half of humanity, each of which in its own way relates to its soul mate. Let's consider them in more detail.
Connoisseur
A man with this type of personality takes care of his soulmate. He certainly treats her with tenderness. For such men, it is especially important that their partner always look one hundred percent.
That is why they have nothing against the beloved striving for perfection. Such women do not focus on household chores, and their spouses tend to take part of family cares on themselves.
Democrat
A man with this type of personality respects the preferences and tastes of his wife. This happens even in those cases when in a particular issue he cannot agree with her. A democrat will never wake his woman on a day off so that she gets up and cooks him breakfast. He will patiently wait until she gets out of bed. In addition, this man himself will be able to cook himself scrambled eggs and sandwiches. In such relationships, partners take care of each other without shifting their responsibilities to others. Such a man respects a woman and sees a man in her.
Slave owner
Such a man has a developed consumer attitude towards a woman. He is not interested in what his wife looks like and what she is wearing. It is worth noting that the lady sometimes also does not care about her appearance. After all, a woman simply does not have time for herself.
Psychologists note that such a consumer attitude of a man can not lead to anything good. After all, people are happy only when they can make others happy. Otherwise, they will feel mental exhaustion and feel unloved.
What to do to prevent a child from growing up as a consumer?
Most parents dream of seeing their child obedient, trying in every possible way to suppress its manifestations of initiative. The result is infantile infantry, which persists for many years to come. In those cases when at one year of age the kids belong to their parents, and to everyone around, as a source of wealth, the child should not be blamed for this. At his early stage of development, he simply does not realize where sweets and toys come from and at what cost they get to adults. If a similar situation is repeated in the future, that is, in kindergarten, school and student age, then this is already abnormal.
How to wean a child from a consumer attitude to life? To do this, parents must leave him space that would allow him to make independent decisions. And let it be still at the minimum level that is available for the appropriate age of the child and safe for him. Children should be allowed to help parents. Then the exchange of goods will be bilateral between them. In this way, parents will be able to instill in their son or daughter values that are considered more important in society than consumer ones. Thanks to such upbringing, children from the very early years will gain the ability to show gratitude and respect, compassion and help.
Friendship in friendship
Spiritually close people always share their emotions, time, actions, and sometimes material values. That is why friendship can be talked about as relationships that are based on a mutually beneficial exchange. Only in this case will they continue and develop. However, sometimes it happens that an equivalent exchange between people does not occur. In this case, sooner or later, but the giving side will certainly come to exhaustion. She will either have nothing to share, or her desire to do so will disappear.
What is the cause of consumer relations in friendship? It is based on disrespect for the values and personality of another person. Sometimes a situation arises when a person wants to be friends. However, at the same time he shows inattention to the feelings and thoughts of another. He simply does not pay attention to his reaction to his actions and does not make any conclusions. For example, he can greatly offend a friend and not notice it.