Tears refer to uncontrolled physiological reactions to stressful traumatic situations, whether it be pain, resentment, or sudden joy. It is very difficult to make yourself stop crying when stressful mechanics are already running, but you can learn to control your thoughts by artificially reducing the intensity of experiences by suppressing their importance. So is it possible to hold back tears when this is completely inappropriate, and what to do with pathological tearfulness?
Why do people cry?
We can talk about pathological tearfulness when a person reacts with tears to most episodes of intense emotional overstrain. No techniques for suppressing tear production will help here - you need to work with a psychologist who will work with the root cause of stress, which lies in the patient’s childhood or acquired later.
Children cry when they do not understand what is happening, or when they lack personal experience to assess the situation. Having matured, a person begins to filter emotions by degree of importance, focusing on the acquired skills. The most powerful emotions require a mandatory discharge, otherwise the individual runs the risk of bringing himself to a nervous breakdown.
Some people need to cry immediately upon receipt of stressful information, and this reaction is called “immediate” - it is most difficult to deal with it and it is best to let it manifest and clear the mind of the negative.
Another type of reaction is called “delayed”, and it can be observed in introverts who are accustomed to not flaunt their feelings. Often these people for a long time do not allow themselves to relax and plunge into emotions, but there comes a time when stress builds up and a person begins to cry, it would seem, for no particular reason.
How to hold back tears of resentment?
People have different perceptions of criticism, and some even a sensible remark, said in passing, can unsettle and make people burst into tears. It’s good when, having felt a lump in the throat, a person can hide from everyone and cry in plenty, but most often this is impossible.
There are several effective ways to hold back tears from resentment during a conversation:
- Switch to your breathing - take a few deep breaths and exhalations, focusing only on these sensations.
- It is painful to pinch yourself, prick yourself with a pin, bite your tongue - that is, distract from psychological experiences in favor of physiological ones.
- Slowly in your mind, scroll through a recipe for a dish, mentally recite a verse, remember the three phone numbers of friends.
How to hold back tears in people? If possible, it is advisable to drink a glass of water in small, measured sips. A good option to stay calm is to turn your attention to an object with many small details. While a fidgety person will consider the subject, all his excitement will settle down.
How to hold back tears of pain?
Even people with a high pain threshold sometimes have to cry from physical suffering, but not everyone is ready to accept this reaction of their body. How to hold back tears when you want to cry?
You can try to quietly do some exercises that block tearing:
- open your eyes as wide as possible and count up to 10 without blinking;
- raise eyebrows to the limit and hold out like this for 7-10 seconds;
- keeping your head straight, look up, as if you need to make out something hanging above the crown.
When the pain begins to recede, it is necessary to completely relax the upper part of the face and 3-4 times wide open and close your mouth, as if pronouncing the letter "A".
Wedge wedge
In moments of deep stress, when tears constantly come to my eyes and nothing goes well, you do not need to force positive emotions in yourself, but it is better to do the opposite - accept your sadness and let it dissolve on your own. Funny comedies and joyful music will serve as a reminder that while everything is bad here, someone is very good, and such thoughts will only add negativity. How to hold back tears?
Philosophical life films and songs about unhappy love that sound from the headphones are the most optimal way to reboot yourself and get heartbroken in a short time. You can even compose yourself a separate playlist of “music for depression” and include it in especially bleak minutes - then returning to normal life will take less time.
The way out is on the move.
How to keep tears secret from loved ones? The most intelligent women, in order not to cry and not wallow in self-pity, start cleaning. Active physical actions do not take away the opportunity to reflect on the situation, but deprive stress of its main weapon - the lack of dynamics of events.
While in motion, the human body intensively stimulates the production of hormones estrogen (in men - androgens) and endorphins, which are responsible for increasing stress resistance and reducing anxiety. It is proved that after 10 minutes of active cleaning (or after 5 minutes of training in the gym), a person not only calms down, but is also ready to make decisions that can ease his situation.
Questions and answers
According to psychologists, one of the most common causes of uncontrolled tearfulness in an adult lies in his inability to take responsibility for his own life. The emotional ray emanating from such a person is constantly directed towards other people, capturing any changes in their behavior and mood.
Such dependence on the opinions of others gives us many reasons for crying or depression - someone was rude, left at the wrong time, forgot to call, and now a person who does not have his personal emotional settings is completely disoriented and ready to give up.
Correction of such a psychological disorder as tearfulness can take place without the help of a specialist, however, it should always begin with the same questions asked to oneself: “What is my meaning in my life? What guides my feelings and actions? Who controls me? ” Sincerely answering questions, a person will have to admit that his role in his own destiny is very insignificant, and if this is not corrected, there will only be more reasons for tears.
Mood
How to be calm and remain a friendly person, if there is only one negative and turmoil around? Most people with the home-work principle of life think just like that and see the reason for their altered behavior in the pressure of the environment. In fact, this is the same syndrome of irresponsibility, but of a more generalized nature.
“I have no time to deal with my appearance, I have small children,” the woman says, justifying her tears about the luxurious appearance of her friend. If you admit the fact that a friend also has children, but at the same time she can afford to keep her eyes fixed, then another reason for tears will turn into a powerful incentive to fight her own laziness. However, only a few are able to admit it, because working on yourself involves a way out of a comfortable state, but tears fit into the usual scheme of everyday routine.
The right mental attitude, along with the development of responsibility, is able to turn a person’s self-image, make him believe in his strength and capabilities. Psychologists advise when a person feels approaching tears, provoked by feelings of hopelessness, envy or tiredness, to repeat the affirmation to himself: "I am not a victim!" This short phrase wonderfully affects the individual’s determination to act and inhibits any need to spare himself.
Holding back tears often is dangerous
Loss of control over the emotional state can significantly reduce a person’s quality of life and make him an outcast of society. But a constant restraint of emotions, a strict self-ban on "all sorts of weaknesses" will sooner or later lead to problems of a physiological nature, up to asthma or radiculitis.
Healthy, good emotions also need updating, and this happens when a person allows himself to accept that negative, which is still drop by drop, but seeps into the life of every person. Problems at work, illness, separation of loved ones - these are situations that cause a desire to part with them as they arrive, without delaying them in yourself even for a minute. Their accumulation, “exaggeration” of details provokes the development of sustained stress, complicated by numerous psychosomatic phenomena.
Any person is recommended at least occasionally to pour out negative energy that inhibits all processes of a healthy body. Tears are one of the elementary components of such energy cleansing, and should not be neglected.