What is regret? Meaning of the word

You can’t turn back the spoken words, and the actions taken can be redone only adjusted for the sediment in the form of regret. The meaning of this word familiar to everyone usually easily fits into the framework of a mandatory set of feelings experienced by a person dozens of times during the day. Annoyance due to loss, understatement, an extra word, parting, lunch that you didn’t have time for, or time spent in vain ... In other words, an indicator of internal dissatisfaction with events unfolding out of our will is the meaning of the word “regret”.

About the nature of regret

All human life, entirely, is subordinate to the factor of chance, invariably relying on indirect errors. Why indirect? Because not all the errors that seem to us to be such, they are. The regret you are experiencing is a momentary indicator that a deviation from a given course has occurred in your life.

The process of creation launched within each person is delayed. The brain impulses responsible for making decisions work faster than controlling the analysis of the actions performed. Remember how many times you had to regret your words (actions) just a few seconds after your lips have already reacted with a verbal reaction, and motor motility automatically made a series of movements, obeying the impulse.

Based on the foregoing, and before we move on, the advice from psychologists is to the piggy bank: before you react to a situation that requires a responsible decision, count up to three inside yourself, taking a focused sigh before the next digit. This takes no more than 7 seconds, and what is regret about haste (the most common reason for this feeling) - you will almost forget.

Subliminal hint

Continuing the previous topic, we warn you against any special trainings or psychological attitudes that block the perception of disappointing situations. Eliminating the feeling of regret is like making a vaccination against a vaccination, that is, rejecting something sent for protection. No need to take a prick of conscience as some kind of attempt to disfigure the existence of non-existent phantoms "what would happen if".

Any perfect action is for the good precisely due to subsequent evaluation in the form of satisfaction or regret. Determining the situation in fact is the intended purpose of the named scales. Satisfaction is the point that can be put at the end of the process. Regret is always a call to continue. I did not have time, I could not, I did not decide today - there is an opportunity to improve the situation tomorrow. Always take the opportunity to reconsider the nature of your annoyance, and not take it out - put on a tie for the next party, if at yesterday you were alone without it, in the end.

Poison life

Regrets are dangerous, which it is impossible to bring to the tick “fixed”. These include the loss of a loved one with whom you were in a quarrel, or a missed opportunity that cannot be returned because another person took advantage of it. It is very difficult, but it is also necessary that this regret, which is poisoning your life, be put aside in the form of another tick in the journal for recording your mistakes - “taken note of”.

There are always other relatives close to you, and the singular does not give us the opportunity to improve our lives for the better. If you constantly sigh only about what is missing, there is a risk of bringing yourself to a state of micromania - pathological suppression of personality through self-abasement.

Remember that regret is not sent to us for constant looking at him - it is an impulsive brain process aimed at returning the subconscious to a comfortable state by correcting (analyzing) the actions performed.

Regret inhibitory and developing regret

Learning to be aware of yourself - and this process can be attributed to one of the most difficult - it is important to note and fix in the consciousness the moments when the anxiety “something is done (said) is not right” arises. If your hasty nature even while committing some action begins to rush about, having lost its emotional balance, then you can congratulate yourself - all you have to learn is just to create artificial pauses between making a decision and putting it into effect (read above). It says such a momentary reaction about the liveliness of nature and close contact with the settings of intuition.

It is more difficult when awareness most often illuminates a person at the time of the return reaction of the action, that is, not a very pleasing result. Regret in this case follows mechanically - it was necessary to do it differently, another time I’ll do it. Here, as it were, an assessment is present, and perception is adequate, but cooperation with the subconscious is lost, the path to oneself is closed by a heap of logic and internal constriction. Of course, such a regret is for the good of man, but until he learns to listen to the state of internal balance, gross and tactless violations of his own life will haunt him constantly.

Re-flashing values

How to learn to make a correct assessment of the past so that it does not really torment you, but serves as the basis for a push forward? Reflash it regarding current events. You didn’t go to college 10 years ago? If you still perceive this as an acute omission of opportunities, there is always a chance to increase the level of education. But, most likely, you will remember how much you have accomplished during this time, and your present life is no worse than the one that would have developed if you had a diploma. It’s time to let go of the regret and accept the failure in that exam as providing an opportunity to avoid any mistake.

The main clue, due to which the negative side of our "I" affects us most effectively - the past. The manipulations are endless for them, because memory is able to revive not only facts, but also the emotional background that accompanies them, even if the event itself is many years old. Remembering the tormenting moments of shameful situations, we overthrow the mind, exhausting it with many details. A healthy reappraisal is blocked, all the achievements that followed the shameful events become depersonalized and lose their significance.

What happens when the past gains power over the present, wrapping it in a net of regrets? Psychological degradation of personality. Think about it.

Not succumbing to provocation

Below we give a step-by-step instruction, following which you can help your consciousness “push out” the negative associated with regrets. You should not take all these steps "on the machine," because the nature of regret can be different.

1. The essence of an uncomfortable state lies beyond control, therefore, it is not wise to take the blame for events that have a random factor. Separate from your feelings of guilt those situations that did not occur during the period of cold-blooded thinking.
2. If the event, of course, is not 20 years old, find the strength in yourself to apologize to the people to whom you have voluntarily or unwittingly done harm. Do not make excuses! Justification of oneself is obviously self-excitation. If you are to blame, do not expect an apology: let go of regret as a promise to space - you are free, and therefore invulnerable.
3. Take away self-interest from your judgments - you are not analyzing a bribe that was once given to give less next time. You are getting rid of the impurity of another person who, by your will, lies on you.
4. Cry, torment, if you really want. 10 minutes. Then look at the wet pillow, change the pillowcase and tell yourself that the emotional limit has been exhausted for experiencing this problem.
5. Focus on the results - the situation was sent to you for something, and until you realize why, it will be repeated again and again.
   

It may be interesting.

But the introductory word "unfortunately" does not meet the meaning of all of the above. Alone or in conjunction with introductory combinations, it serves precisely as a justification for the situation and nothing else: "Unfortunately, I ...", "We are sorry to inform ...". At the same time, the interlocutor as though offers us to share with him the emotional burden imposed on mitigating the negative tonality.

It should be noted that this expression refers to “manipulators”. Often, followed by a request in which it will be difficult for you to refuse.