Human life is akin to a roller coaster - slow ups, sharp descents. "Time to cry, time to laugh," said the wisest king Solomon. In childhood, it felt especially good. He laughed, then cried - and life goes on. But what to do if it seems that you are sitting at the bottom, and the time of crying is not replaced by joy? Moreover, why nothing happens in my personal life?
When a person faces a battle with someone, he first examines the enemy - who he is, what his strengths are, which will help him defeat him. When it comes to combat with “nothing works,” tactics should not change. It is worth exploring the reasons - why it seems that nothing happens in life? What to do? It is necessary to delve into yourself and find the root.
Why does nothing work out in life?
If a child tells parents that he does not succeed in learning and getting good grades, he will often get an answer that the problem is lack of effort. Diligence is, of course, important and necessary, but it is unlikely that anyone will try if he does not believe that he is capable of achieving a result. Therefore, there are several reasons why nothing happens in life:
- Lack of self-confidence.
- Lack of clear goals and understanding of what is impossible in life.
- Learned helplessness.
- Unfavorable attitude to failures.
But this can be dealt with. So, first things first ...
Oh how powerful a man!
First of all, you need to realize the enormous scale of your abilities. Believe in yourself.
A case is known in one of the schools - the boy couldn’t run and do other exercises normally because of his bones that were incorrectly fused. And the physical education teacher indulged him, lowering the bar for him. However, this teacher left, and another came in his place. The new teacher was categorical and was not going to make exceptions for someone, so the boy had to run the distance as fast as the others in order to get the test. He had no choice but to train and run. At the end of the year, he passed the standings and ran twice as fast as before. Moreover, he stopped constantly falling, and began to walk normally.
This story is about how a person is capable of miracles. Remember how you did the work in a day, which seemed to need ten times more time. Or how quickly they ran away from a dog, climbed out of fear on a tree or jumped over a high fence. Or as in exams some kind of knowledge suddenly surfaced. This is because man is a capable being. Therefore, you do not need to belittle your abilities.
It will be useful to have a notebook in which to write down all your successes, even the most seemingly insignificant ones.
Power of clarity
Instead of saying that nothing happens in life, is it better to specify what is meant by this "nothing"? What should happen? What do you really want to achieve? It is very difficult to achieve abstract goals: I want to lose weight, I want to become more confident, I want a good job. Better this way: every day I will do exercises and I will go up to strangers and ask for directions at least once a day.
The clarity of the goals and their measurability is the main need for something to start to come out in life. Spend a little time, sit down, think in detail what you want from life. Then break the target into pieces, into small steps, into simple tasks. After all, you definitely get to wake up in the morning, talk, read, cook. This means that it cannot be said that nothing happens in life.
Mistakes?
If there is effort and faith, but still nothing happens in life, do not despair. It is necessary to approach this not with emotions, but with cold prudence. Think exactly what you are doing? What could be the reason for the failures? How can they be solved?
If you do, and it doesn’t work, then you’re doing it wrong. And this means that everything is possible to fix. Why do people live in the world, if not in order to learn?
Promotion
When something finally happened, be sure to give yourself something. Buy what you dreamed about, or that you didn’t allow yourself for some reason. Allow yourself to relax, watch a movie or go to the theater, museum, cinema. This will help motivate yourself and show the subconscious mind that here - to act very healthy.
What you need to remember if nothing works out?
Sometimes you need to look at things from the other side. Develop a view of failure so that it does not destroy from within. Such advice to you, when nothing happens in life, remember the following:
- The greatest fears are an illusion. Sometimes you just need to stop, look at your hands, and understand - these are the hands that you control. You decide what to do with them, you decide what to say with your own lips, and you also decide where to direct your legs. Do not succumb to fears, look at them from the side. There is a known case when one day in the country a man decided to burn a box, and at first he shook everything out of it. Mice fell out - mother and her children. At first, the mother of the mice got scared and began to run away, but after, obviously, she recovered herself and returned to protect her mice from the human giant. If the mouse is able to overcome fear, much less a person can do it. By the way, the mice were not injured, they returned the box.
- Everything flows, everything changes. There is no such unique person who has everything stable: constantly bad or good.
- Patience is not expectation. Patience is hard work and efforts to maintain a positive attitude. You need to move, even a little.
- What can be changed must be changed. It is always worth focusing on what is possible to change, rather than lamenting what is already unchanging. A person cannot erase a mistake made in the past or failure, but can change his attitude towards them.
- Be kind to yourself. Checklists, tests, dictations, poems - for all this, people received an assessment in due time. Because of this, it is so hard to understand that the result and its evaluation are not so important, but the process itself. You overcame embarrassment and spoke to the person - excellent! Here, the result is no longer important, no matter how you looked. Now it’s important that you are one step higher than yesterday. Be kind to yourself and praise yourself.
- Big achievements take time. It is important to remember that you need to patiently go to the goals, not to pick the fruits that have not yet ripened. Waiting for a result can be enjoyable, enjoy the process of achieving goals.
- Life is an adventure. It is impossible to achieve something without inconvenience and risk. It is very difficult to leave your comfort zone, but it's worth it. You can give yourself just a try, and then decide whether it was worth it or not.
Stupid elephant?
There is such a thing as learned helplessness. It manifests itself in cases where a person is not able to control their life (for example, when parents do everything for their children, or when failure after failure falls upon a person).
When something like this happens in life, a person ceases to believe that he can do something. Such a person thinks: "My achievements are thanks to you, and failure is due to me" or "Yes, perhaps many people can handle this, but not me."
Here you can give an example of an elephant. They have been tamed since childhood, tied with a rope to the leg. Then they are so weak that they cannot break it, therefore they try, they try - but all to no avail. Then they stop trying, because they seem senseless to them. Moreover, when the elephant becomes huge, it is tied with the same rope, because the elephant has already decided that he cannot break this rope. He remembered it that way. And he doesn’t even understand that now he has enough strength to even tear down a tree, not like breaking a rope.
How to deal with learned helplessness?
In fact, one can cope with learned helplessness, even if it lasts from childhood. To do this, it is worth:
- Find what you can control.
- To think constructively. It is necessary to try to approach problems without emotion.
- Move towards goals in small steps.
- Celebrate victory.
In principle, almost the same as described in detail above. The learned helplessness is a separate topic that is worth exploring if it seems that nothing in life works out.
So. Why does nothing in life work out? Answer: because there is no faith, no clear goals, and there are too many emotions. Just try to take steps, and when life begins to change, faith in yourself and your abilities will grow.