The crisis age in men is approximately mid-life. It occurs when growing up children no longer require a lot of attention, professional activity becomes stable, it would seem that from now on everything will only get better. Depression at this age is a common occurrence. And the question is, when the middle-aged crisis in men ends, more and more people are asking.
Description
The crisis of middle age comes when a person realizes that the unlimited, seemingly earlier, range of time with which you can do whatever your heart desires has now been significantly reduced. When half of life passes, the prospects change dramatically. Gradually, a person realizes that he will not be able to achieve everything. Instead of asking, "What else can I do?" - appears: "What else will I have time to do?"
The last male crisis is a natural stage in almost everyone. During this period, a person experiences anger, depression, a sense of despondency and monotony in a relationship. And this leads to the fact that people turn in the direction of other hobbies, younger female representatives, they are regularly visited by thoughts of cheating on his wife. The crisis age in men is becoming a problem in many people, in people with any condition, status. This is a natural phenomenon.
How is it manifested?
It looks like a period of complete rethinking. Then people revise their previous achievements, circumstances of life, decisions, plans, dreams. And it brings certain results. New desires and aspirations arise. They push a man at 45 to change everything. Very often this phenomenon is combined with emotional changes, depressive manifestations, long-term decisions.
The reason lies in the conclusions that a mature person makes about his life. It turns out that, probably, a person has achieved a lot in life, but not as planned, something is missing. Instead of a cottage - an apartment, instead of a shepherd dog - a spitz, and instead of a beautiful woman with a figure of 90-60-90 next to him in an old dressing gown Katka with stretch marks and overweight. And often she wonders how to help a man in a midlife crisis.
Here you need to remember a few points. Firstly, as a rule, a person can independently cope with such symptoms. But why, even if he can cope on his own, not use this situation to bring about a change for the better in life? Create an adventure to work on yourself.
Our life is a road. At the age of 40-50, a person is halfway. Then you can look back and look at yourself in your youth, remember the dreams, expectations of previous years and compare with the present. Then begins a big rethinking of what is happening. There is not much time left. It is this awareness that pushes a man in his 60s, in his 40s to change, sometimes radical. Such a comparison of dreams with current life is necessary, because it pushes forward to action, allows you to think about your decisions and choices.
Symptoms
The crisis of middle age concerns, as a rule, men at about 35-45 years old. Often it goes unnoticed, but despite this, it is people with this course of depression that are especially vulnerable in this condition. The stages of the age crisis are most difficult for people who:
- have a sensitive nature;
- had a difficult childhood - upbringing by aggressive parents, the absence of one of the parents;
- recently lost someone or parted with a loved one;
- have health problems that are exacerbated precisely at middle age.
Support will be especially useful for such people. The crisis age in men is part of the aging process and the acquisition by a person of a new world view over time. It is difficult to identify universal symptoms that would make it easy to diagnose this condition in everyone. This is, of course, connected with the fact that the human psyche is changing, feelings and emotions are a very individual matter. Nevertheless, we can talk about some symptoms that act as psychological characteristics of age-related crises. These include the following:
- work that I liked before does not bring positive emotions anymore;
- the emergence of interest in violation of ethical standards;
- the appearance of all kinds of depressive manifestations and a sharp feeling of constant monotony, nostalgia for the old days;
- dissatisfaction with the partner, the relationship: they seem overly bland, he blames the woman;
- the appearance of excessive attention to their own appearance, extremely intense classes in fitness clubs, the purchase of new clothes;
- decreased interest in wife, intimacy and romantic dates;
- interest in young women - it is during this period that the most intense passion for those who are much younger than them awakens among males.
For example, a symptom of such a crisis would be a man’s 45-year-old sudden interest in a 20-year-old girl. It is noteworthy that in his attraction to a young and seductive woman, a male representative proves to himself that he is still “afloat”.
How to cope?
The relief of symptoms of such depression affects the partner of the “victim” in the most direct way. For this reason, recommendations are provided here that will help her directly. So, it costs:
- remind the person overcoming this period of what you managed to go through together;
- to keep fit and feel attractive, so that he also feels that a beautiful partner is nearby;
- to realize his and his fantasies in the intimate sphere;
- organize a joint trip without children.
Many say that the crisis age in men is a condition that it is impossible to deal with, and you just need to wait this time. Unfortunately, the period of crisis equally affects both the man and the woman who is his partner. On the one hand, she feels guilty that she has brought her husband to such a state, on the other - powerlessness, because she can not always help him.
Development Details
A middle-aged crisis in a man can begin innocently. So, for a man of 30 years, the subjective perception of time can change - a year that a child seems unimaginably long, an adult seems much shorter. Other priorities are emerging.
The task of development in adolescents is to form a sense of their own identity and integration into a group of peers. In young adults (up to 25 years), the priority is the creation of close ties with other people, the creation of a family.
In men at the age of 30, the need to take care of other people, not only about themselves, comes to the fore. And halfway through, a person faces a dilemma: "What next in life to do? What to do? Pleasures and fun, take care of yourself and live in a way that is more comfortable? Or spend your time and energy to create something more?" If he chooses the first option, then sooner or later life enters the phase of stagnation and emptiness and just the middle-aged crisis begins.
A person ceases to care about loved ones, lives as if he no longer wants to care about anyone other than himself. Comfort, laziness, inability to sacrifice are put to the fore. Since life, only for the sake of pleasure, sooner or later leads to a feeling of emptiness, mental diseases can develop against this background.
Sometimes a midlife crisis manifests itself in the fact that a person who is bored in a stable life acquires an unusual hobby (for example, extreme racing) or sets off to look for “real life full of dangers”. It happens that the revolution is the realization of the desire to connect fate with a woman who is much younger than him, to once again start all over again.
Midlife Crisis in Monkeys
Scientists from the University of Edinburgh and the University of Warwick have proven that a midlife crisis also occurs in chimpanzees and orangutans. Observed were 500 individuals living in 5 countries. Monkeys were watched by scientists and volunteers. It turned out that in the middle of their lives animals are much less happy than in youth and in old age. The results of the study may indicate that the midlife crisis is associated with evolution, and not with related problems, such as divorce, credit, or the need to change the car for a new one.
Risk groups
Is there any group of people who are particularly vulnerable to such a threat? Psychologists are unanimous here: the past can influence this. If someone has failed to form a full-fledged sense of self-identity during puberty, he still does not know who he is, does not accept his own personality, and then fails when trying to establish truly deep and mutually beneficial relationships with other people. Concentration only on oneself in such a person increases significantly.
When did the term appear?
The term "midlife crisis" was first formulated by Canadian psychologist Elliott Jacques in the 60s of the XX century. But it must be borne in mind that all subsequent studies of this phenomenon show that nothing special happens in men who are “halfway”. It seems that personality changes after 40 years can occur, but certainly not in all men. But in reality, such a phenomenon affects only about 5% of people, and mainly those who have higher education. Males between 40 and 49 years of age are more likely to have more problems drinking alcohol, sleeping pills, and sedatives than ever. More often they talk about apathy, less often show enthusiasm for life.
How long does it last?
A crisis lasts an average of 3 to 10 years. All this time you need to remember that a person still has goals in front of him - you can realize your dreams, the realization of which was planned in his youth - because nothing has been lost, you can still set completely new tasks for yourself. Middle age is only half of life. Although it depends on the country of residence.
Advice
It is worth trying to accept your age - being in middle age, it is not at all necessary to connect your years only with negative feelings. Indeed, during this period a person becomes much more experienced than before, doesn’t make decisions so hastily, enjoys a better financial situation and enjoys greater respect than at 20.
Instead of focusing on the bad, you should think about what you have achieved. For example, not to think about the fact that it wasn’t possible to become a pilot before 45, and the chances decrease with age, and to notice the good: are there successful relationships now, happy and smart children, a stable position at work. It is recommended that you answer the question whether it is worthwhile to make drastic and hasty changes in life at this age and condition.
Conclusion
So, any person can face a similar problem, regardless of their social status, material status, family or physical condition. However, there are factors that make people more vulnerable to a nervous breakdown associated with new searches in the middle of life. However, a similar phenomenon may also be encountered by a person who has no prerequisites for a crisis at all.