For most people, mom is the most dear and irreplaceable person. To imagine that one day she will not be very difficult and painful, but sooner or later it will happen. In this article, we will share the advice of psychologists who tell how to live without a mother.
So different situations
The world is designed so that children, when they reach a certain age, leave their native nest and begin to equip their lives in another place. This applies not only to human nature, but to all life on the planet. Each creature does not feel a sense of pity or experience when the time comes to part, but only takes this situation for granted.
The world also has the rule "nothing lasts forever." Even trees standing 300-400 years old die, even the stars go out sooner or later. This truth must be treated with understanding and humility. Of course, it’s impossible to prepare for the loss of a loved one, but the realization that this is an inevitable life cycle should help you cope with heartache. Let's find out how to live without a mother in different situations.
If it's time to secede
Now there are dozens of university study programs that offer favorable conditions for both living and subsequent employment. But there is one minus - most educational institutions are far from your city, sometimes they are located entirely abroad. In this case, the family decides to send the future student to such a place, devoting to independent life. How to live without a mother, being in an unfamiliar city, where completely alien faces surround?
Understand that sooner or later you will have to start an independent life, be responsible for your actions, learn to make decisions, both right and wrong. Do not be afraid that you will be far from your mother and loved ones, because now there is the opportunity to keep in touch regularly. These are video calls, and various instant messengers.
How to decide to live without a mother in another city? Be rational, soberly assess the situation. Nobody forces you to go to study in an unfamiliar place, you may well enter the nearest university or college, but is it worth it? What prospects await you when you leave your hometown? Be prepared for difficulties, but remember that they are all solvable. During the time that you will spend away from home, you can learn to be responsible and independent. After all, as soon as you feel freedom, you will begin to succumb to temptations and provocations. It is at this moment that a person begins to cultivate a steel core within himself, which will teach you to separate the important from the insignificant, the good from the bad, the useful from the harmful.
Death is inevitable
It often happens that due to illness, as a result of an accident or for other reasons, the closest and dearest person leaves. Let's find out how to survive the death of mom. The advice of psychologists will show whether it is possible to cope with this loss and in what ways to deal with mental pain.
Sooner or later, it will be necessary to understand and accept the fact that each person is measured by his time and death is inevitable. You can cry and moan, beat your walls with your fists, but such an event cannot be undone or stopped, it is not in the power of man. You will have to live with this understanding further, but no one forbids you to be sad and remember your mother.
On the contrary, sadness must sooner or later result in the form of tears and crying. Only after experiencing all the pain of loss, you can afford to let it go and start building a new life. But many simply do not know what to do if mom died, how to live on. Perhaps the first reaction will be to isolate yourself from the world around you, to withdraw into yourself and stop being interested in anything. This is the wrong way, it leads only to the degradation of the individual and the devastation of the inner world.
Families First
When thinking about how to live without a mother, do not forget about your children and loved ones who need you more than ever. It’s better not to hide from them, but to continue to communicate with people, go to work, and run away from creepy thoughts. If you need to speak out, then it's worth it. Do not be afraid to seek help from friends and family, talk about your feelings and sufferings. Prayer and fellowship with a confessor helps some people.
Understand that the loved one did not leave forever, because he is nearby, as long as you remember him and keep warm memories. Regularly think about how to live further without a mother, while remembering that over time, suffering and memories will become bright and pure sadness, but this is worth the wait.
If you lost your mother, this does not mean that life is broken and useless. This is not at all true. Yes, you are faced with bereavement and pain, this disturbs the mental and emotional state. However, the world needs you, your energy and the desire to change something. Think that every day on the planet, people lose the closest people who replaced them with the whole Universe, but they cope with pain, build their families, devote themselves to new activities and work.
Set a goal
Many people ask themselves: how to continue living when mother is gone? Psychologists unanimously argue that the best way to deal with mental pain is work. This does not necessarily mean that you will have to visit a hated company, which does not value either employees or their skills. By work is meant any hobby that you like. It should distract, heal wounds, help get rid of negative thoughts.
At the very beginning of the journey, when you are only faced with loss, try not to lock yourself in. Let me be sad for a few days, and then again plunge into life flows. It is not necessary to start doing something great and super complex. Go to the park, rent a bike, visit the museum. Let your friends and family keep you company. This will be a great start to deal with heartache after loss.
Most likely, you will come across a feeling of shame, because “not even a few years have passed since her death, and I started walking with friends, laughing and visiting public places”. Believe me, you do not need to be in mourning for years, because the pain of losing a loved one will always be present inside.
When you abstract in the situation, you will begin to see what is happening around you, you can increase the load and direct your energy in the right direction. Start learning languages, set goals for yourself, achieve them. Your goal is to do absolutely everything that you want, as long as it comes to the realization that you are still alive.
Only bright memories
Here's another tip on how to survive mom’s death: Don't give free rein to negative thoughts. You should look at this situation with warmth, allowing only bright memories to overcome you. How to achieve this?
Passing by the cafe where you were sitting with your mom, your favorite park bench, supermarket near the house, remember only the funniest and sweetest moments. You should not look for mistakes in past situations, causing feelings of guilt and self-pity. The thought “I remember how my mother treated a stray dog near this store, maybe we saved her life” should not grow into “that day we had a great fight with my mother, I told her too much nasty things and accused her of touching a dirty and stray dog, how stupid I was. ”
Feel the vibrations of this world
You can learn to live without a mother. Yes, you either lost a loved one, or are very far from him. However, this is not a reason to forget that you are still alive.
You must have come across moments when you are sitting on the beach or watching the sunset and there is a feeling of delight. This is a wonderful sensation that cannot be ignored or missed. So your consciousness is trying to show you that you are connected with this world. Unfortunately, a person cannot change the course of life events, however, merging into a single stream and enjoying a flickering view can be the right decision.
Do not go in cycles in the past and the future, live only in the present. Realize that you can’t change anything, everything that has been done will be left behind. But do not harbor false illusions about the future, do not try to look behind the thick veil of tomorrow. Do not waste your time thinking about how to live without a mother in the world. After all, in any case, you will exist both with and without it, until your time comes to say goodbye to this world.
But if you can’t change anything, then why not just succumb to life’s currents, using every minute for your own good, directing energy in the right direction? Open yourself to this world, imagine how proud your mother would be that sadness and heartache could not break your steel rod.
Cruel, but still experience
After the death of parents, profound changes, both internal and external, come. For the most part, the changes are positive, because when the pain subsides, and the sadness remains a bright spot in the soul, a person acquires wisdom and the realization that he is now mature and solely responsible for his actions.
Loss immediately divides people into two categories: those who are ready to deal with this situation, and those who break. In the first case, people understand that they cannot just give up. They accept the fact that death is inevitable, therefore they continue to live on, trying to make the most of all resources and knowledge in order to become happy, successful, wiser in the short time that was allotted to them.
Others, on the contrary, are not able to cope with that sadness and pain, do not allow others to help them, they are locked in themselves and closed from society.
After mother’s death, you will never be the same person again. Perhaps you will be able to free yourself from its fetters, begin to live in a completely different way, and begin to try something new. It all depends on the relationship with your mother. But the fact that you will begin a different life is a fact. You can choose any way you want using the experience gained.
New perspectives and opportunities
When you are away from your parents, a completely different world opens up before you, which is full of possibilities. Of course, it’s hard to live without a mother, especially when you have to bear responsibility for all your actions, lead an independent lifestyle and cope with the first serious everyday problems.
But the most difficult period lasts up to two or three years, and after that comes the realization that you have gained freedom of choice, have the opportunity to engage in any activity (which does not harm your health and is not dangerous).
You can not only study or work, but also devote free time to hobbies, creativity, science. Dreamed to sign up for the gym? Go for it! Want to learn how to play the piano? Why not. Interested in how our world works? Look for science-themed clubs.
Enjoy life, do not waste time on bitterness and resentment, regret and disappointment. It doesn’t matter how you lost the person, but you’re still in this world, full of energy and have enormous opportunities to do absolutely anything you want.
Relationship between mother and child
Children will be able to cope with the pain of loss or parting if you explain to them the principles of how life mechanisms work. Most without a mother live badly, because they are attached to her, if not on the mental, then on the physical level. If a woman herself makes her child dependent on her, then it is likely that the child will not be able to reconcile with parting or loss.
When the children become more mature and they will become aware of this world, you need to prepare them for the fact that sooner or later you will leave them, so you should not focus on your relationship, but be prepared to continue to live, build your family and career, allow happiness to absorb them.
If a child cannot live without a mother, then this is the fault of the parents. This is because they intentionally make their child dependent on them, not allowing them to make independent decisions. And the older the children become, the worse the situation worsens. Remember that in the world there are a huge number of women who are afraid to let their sons go. They control their every step, criticize the choice and impose their opinion.
How to prevent this? Trust your child, be both his friend and parent. Support him, never humiliate or insult, believe and help in all endeavors. So the child will love you and not depend on one hundred percent, because from early childhood he will learn to lead an independent lifestyle.
How to learn to live without a mother: useful tips
Our world is designed in such a way that any mother teaches her child those skills that are useful to him for survival, food and building her own family. A tigress teaches the young to hunt, tadpole frogs to hide from predators. But in the world of people, everything is much more complicated, because a person protects his child to the last, protecting from dangers even when it is time for him to fly out of the nest long ago.
If you know that sooner or later you will have to live without a mother, then you need to learn some skills and adopt her wisdom:
- Be independent. There is nothing more important than the ability to secure a roof over your head, food and clothing. Learn to cook first, and it doesn’t matter if you are a woman or a man. Learn how to shop, which products to buy first, how to save, how to distinguish between freshened and spoiled.
- Making decisions. Start to be responsible for your actions, analyze the importance of your activity. Ask for advice on how to communicate with the opposite sex, which hospital is best to go to, and then analyze the information received and create the ideal behavior model for you. Do not be afraid to make responsible decisions. No one guarantees that they will not lead you to failure, but that is how people earn their first experience and become wiser.
- Analyze the life of your parents. Think about what mistakes they made, what decisions were right in their path. The experience gained can be directed to yourself to try to make your life better.
In addition to these tips, there are several more. Each mother is the mistress of the house, the keeper of the hearth. She knows best how to wash white things, how to bake chicken in the oven, and how to iron shirts. Learn everything your mom can do to become the best version of herself.
Learn how to budget, see which purchases are considered worthless and wasteful. Get acquainted with the technique - a washing machine, a refrigerator, a stove. Explore their possible functions, ask for useful tips. For example, did you know that you can descale any kettle without using chemicals? To do this, just pour citric acid into it, add water, turn on the device, wait for the boil, and then leave it for 10 minutes.
Yes, living without a mother is difficult, but learn one important thing that in this world no one lives forever. This will help to cope with mental pain, as well as restore emotional balance. Do not forget that you are an absolutely unique person who was granted life. Conduct it with benefit, do not waste time in vain on suffering and regret.