Resentment is something that haunts every person almost everyday. All people constantly resent someone or insult someone. However, everyone is already so accustomed to considering the insult to be something everyday that they do not notice what damage it inflicts to each of the participants. It can have serious consequences in the future, so you should think about how to deal with resentment. After all, it depends on you how strongly this or that case will affect your psyche. And if you can’t overcome the gnawing feelings on your own, this article will offer you several ways to deal with resentment. Study them, choose the ones that suit you best, try them individually or in combinations. After all, it is very important to learn how to deal with resentment. You will understand quite quickly: without her, your life is much better.
Resentment: how to deal with it
So, in this article you will learn how to deal with resentment. However, for this you need to understand what it is and why it manifests itself. Resentment is a feeling that a person experiences when they told him or did something unpleasant. However, she has differences from anger and other manifestations of negative emotions. Most often it is hidden, that is, a person feels that he is unpleasant, but does not tell the person who offended him about it. It is because of this that problems arise. The fact is that resentment has the ability to accumulate, as well as an even more dangerous property - to grow. If someone offended you, it is best to resolve the situation as soon as possible, because the more the offense will “ripen” inside you, the worse it will be for you. The person who brought you this unpleasant feeling may not even know about it. But at the same time, you have already sorted through hundreds of situations in your head and inflated your resentment to unprecedented proportions. Although it could start with any little thing.
The thing is that resentment is a manifestation of the inner child within each of the people. You may be twenty-five or fifty years old, all the same, deep down in your soul you still have a part of the children's ego. And because of this, an irrational reaction to the statement or action of a person occurs. Resentment is inside a person and does not go outside. And it can cause serious damage to your mental health. If you accumulate insults and do not learn how to deal with them, then this can seriously affect your condition. That is why you need to learn how to deal with resentment. And this article will help you with this.
Conversation
The first thing you need to understand if you want to learn how to deal with a sense of resentment is that the person who offended you cannot read minds. Often, he cannot know that you did not like what he said or did. Therefore, first of all, you need to try to suppress the childish ego in yourself at least a little to make room for rational thinking. How can a person feel guilty if he does not know that he is being accused? Naturally, he will not come to you to ask for forgiveness, since he has no idea that he should do it. Therefore, you should definitely talk to this person. Tell him that his particular remark and behavior offended you. In most cases, this works flawlessly. A person who offends you, if you approach him calmly and not with accusations on his face, will also look at the situation from a rational point of view and understand what exactly he did wrong. This is the simplest way to deal with resentment against a person. However, there are other methods that may seem more convenient or effective to someone. They can also be used when the first method did not work.
Forgiveness
Too many women wonder how to cope with resentment against a man. After all, if you are in a relationship, then most likely the first method does not always work - you know each other too well for one of you to remain ignorant about the fact that he offended his partner. This method, which will be described now, is suitable not only for this case - you can use it in any situation in life. Its essence lies in the simplest forgiveness. When you take offense at a person, you mostly harm yourself only, therefore you should learn to forgive offenses without the participation of a second party. Instead of holding a grudge within yourself, forgive the person who offended you. Naturally, if he continues to do this further, he will have to take other actions, but if this is an isolated case, forgiveness may be the best option. So, if you are interested in how to cope with an insult to your husband, you should definitely try to just forgive him, as you should not forget that he is the closest person in the world for you.
Lesson
If you are wondering how to deal with resentment and anger, then you most likely did not try to look a little deeper inside yourself. Often, even positive things can be made out of resentment. If you have been wronged, you can alleviate your suffering by doing introspection. Think about what caused such strong feelings. Most likely, the person touched you for something that is very important for you - what is it? Think about it and try to draw conclusions from it. As you see, something positive can be taken from any situation that can help you in your future life.
Understanding
When you think about how to cope with a bad mood, irritation, resentment, you most often think only about yourself. This is a completely normal trait for a person, but sometimes it is worth looking a little further than your own "I". Almost always, resentment is perceived as a personal insult, and rare people immediately begin to think logically and assume that the point, perhaps, is not at all in themselves. Sometimes someone may offend you by accident due to the fact that he is in a bad mood, something has happened in his family or some important plans have come to frustration. And you just fell under a hot hand. Therefore, do not hold a grudge in yourself, because in a few hours a person may already come back to normal and forget about how he told you something, and you will still be offended by him. Try to understand the people around you, as you will often find yourself in their place and you will most likely want to be understood too, and not immediately strictly judged.
Analysis
This item is a kind of combination of parts of the previous ones, since it will offer you to analyze the situation. If you want to learn how to cope with resentment and negative emotions, you need to think soberly and not succumb to manifestations of acute feelings. Analyze the situation: if you were offended by a stranger whom you most likely will never meet again, then you should not even think about this offense. Forget about her and never remember that she does not interfere with your life. If someone close was insulted and this was not the first time, then other measures will have to be used. Just remember that in this situation, your main weapon is a calm conversation, not sharp accusations.
Expectations
It often happens that resentment arises from the fact that a person simply did not live up to your expectations. You meant that he would act in a certain way, since you are friends, colleagues, relatives, and so on, and he acted completely differently, and for this you are offended by him. If you take a sober look at such a situation from the outside, you will realize that this is stupid and irrational. It has already been written above that no one is able to read your thoughts, so you should either publicize them or not require a person to do what he does not consider necessary. If you think that your friend should have helped you in a particular situation, tell him about it or just forget and do not expect from him what he was not going to do and is not going to.
NLP
There is such a technique as neuro-linguistic programming, abbreviated NLP. With its help, the most difficult problems that arise in people are often solved, and it also allows you to cope with grievances. One of the most striking examples is the burning of a grudge leaf. You need to write down on a sheet of paper all the insults that a person inflicted on you, throw out all your emotions on paper, then burn this sheet, imagining how they burn in a fire. It looks rather strange, but in fact it turns out to be an extremely effective method. You program yourself for your own happiness, and listing offenses and burning a sheet is just a symbol that allows you to simply convince yourself that you yourself are the master of your happiness.
Another option
Recently, NLP has become more and more popular, so this article will present another method that relates to this technique. You need to write on paper the name of your abuser and what exactly he did to you. After that, you need to write that you forgive him for it. Repeat this several dozen times a day until your resentment disappears due to the fact that by constantly repeating the action, you will program yourself for forgiveness. Naturally, this approach should be used only if you can’t forgive a person without any help.
Steam release
Well, another option that will allow you to forget your insult and cheer yourself up is to let off steam. If you have a punching bag, well, if not, grab a pillow or something like that. Well, then everyone understands what needs to be done: imagine that this is your offender, and let off steam on it. Naturally, this approach is recommended for strangers or not closest people, such as, for example, the boss, and not the mother or husband.