It often happens that after a drunken and stormy fun of a person overtakes a feeling of shame for actions committed in a state of intoxication. How to get rid of it if it begins to interfere with life? Consider some of the recommendations of psychologists to address this issue further.
Why is it a shame after drinking?
The first thing you should pay attention to when considering this issue is why is it a shame after drinking and how this feeling did not overtake a person during the commission of such acts, for which the next morning there is a feeling of conscientious remorse?
First of all, it is worthwhile to understand that after drinking a certain amount of alcohol a person begins to lose certain psychological and social barriers. As a result of this, the drinker begins to do things that he would never allow himself to do, while remaining in a completely sober state. It is not surprising that with a sobering consciousness, he begins to recall his yesterday’s behavior and correlates it with the image of the ideal “I”, as a result of which there is a general dissonance of behavior patterns, which, in fact, causes a feeling of shame.
A vivid example of such a situation is the case when a young, but rather modestly educated woman, while in a state of intoxication, frankly flirted with a guy. Undoubtedly, in the morning she will be very ashamed of her behavior, because a completely different model of behavior has been imposed on her by society and a certain culture, which she consciously refuses, being sober. It is precisely because the frank flirtation of a drunken girl is not included in the image of an ideal woman (in her own understanding), she begins to experience a feeling of remorse.
In some cases, one can observe a picture when the next morning after a booze a person feels remorse, even if he has not done anything and has not transcended the boundaries of his ideal self. It is worth noting that such a feeling is of a neurotic nature, which psychologists consider abnormal.
When ashamed after drinking, what to do? Further, we consider some situations of dealing with such a sensation, as well as the basic techniques.
What guilt is considered objective
An objective guilt is considered to be that which is caused by the commission of certain acts that go beyond the established rules and moral standards. Vivid examples of this behavior are situations when, in the midst of drunken fun, a person danced on the table, addressed the leader to “you”, insulted colleagues, and also violated the order established by society and committed other acts contrary to moral standards.
Psychologists note that such guilt is normal, as the result of its appearance was the exit of a specific individual beyond the established framework, as well as the boundaries of his own ideal image. In the event that a person in a drunk state inflicted moral or material damage on others, then the fact of such actions is an objective reason for a feeling of shame and a drop in mood in the morning on this basis.
On the subjective causes of shame
What feeling of shame after drinking is considered subjective?
Psychologists note that certain personality factors are reasons that were invented by the person himself. So, for example, a situation may occur in which a drunk girl (or boyfriend) speaks offensive words to another person or throws a harsh phrase that offends his self-esteem. In this case, suspiciousness may arise, as a result of which a feeling of shame, anxiety and guilt develops.
In such a situation, it is worth noting the presence of two inseparable categories: the subjective presentation of a drunken face and reality. As for the first, this is only his opinion on whether he did any harm to another person, and the reality in this situation is the very fact of the words spoken. If you describe this situation on the other hand, then the person does not know and cannot know whether the opponent said the words he insulted - he thinks up the situation of the offense on his own, and his fantasies, as a rule, are not at all interconnected with the things that are actually happening. In fact, the feeling of anxiety and guilt in this case is far-fetched, and, according to psychologists, its causes actually lie much deeper than in a simple table situation.
General recommendations of psychologists
In the event that the morale in the morning after a binge leaves much to be desired, psychologists strongly recommend that you sit down and sort yourself out. To do this, one must sensibly assess the manner in which one is drunk. In this it is very important to pay special attention to the aspect of the normal assessment of all committed actions. At the same time, it’s worth asking yourself the question: was everything really so bad or is the voice of conscience just speaking now?
When assessing the situation, it is worth paying attention to what was really out of the ordinary in the behavior, and also to identify those moments for which shame is the result of the inconsistency of some manners with the standards imposed by society and education. It is also worthwhile to look in detail at whether the committed acts really did any harm to those around them or whether this again speaks with an inner, overly conscientious voice. Only by conducting discussions on given topics can one find the right way out of the embarrassing situation for oneself.
How to eliminate guilt
What to do if, after drinking, partying, a person does not leave guilt? In this situation, it is worth doing work on yourself. Experienced psychologists recommend that it be held on the second day after the party, since on the first morning following the event, a part of the alcohol still remains in the body, which does not allow a sufficiently sober assessment of the current situation.
When studying the current situation, it is worth paying attention to what exactly happened in the series of events of that very evening. What was done? Was anyone offended by the behavior shown?
In the event that a reason for shame was nevertheless found or friends suggested it, it is worth looking at it not only from one’s own point of view, but also evaluating it from the perspective of good / bad. In the event that the friends who make up the company at the same party do not recall anything that could be embarrassing after drinking, but nevertheless the feeling of remorse does not leave, then psychologists recommend a special set of exercises, the main action of which is aimed to eliminate it. Let us consider them in more detail below.
When remorse torments, but there are no obvious reasons for that
The described method of healing consciousness is ideal only for those who feel guilty and ashamed after drinking, not confirmed by any facts. In the described situation, it can be a consequence of a hangover syndrome, which overtakes the gut of all those who had a very fun evening.
In a situation where, after drinking, a person begins to feel remorse for no apparent reason, he should perform one very simple procedure recommended by psychologists. To do this, you should take a shower and stand for about three minutes, first dousing yourself with as warm and then cold water as possible (alternating procedures, giving each 30 seconds). It is very important to make sure that the final flow of water is just cold.
After a shower, you should drink a tablet of "Ibuprofen", "Paracetamol", "Spazmalgon" or any other analgesic, the action of which is aimed at relieving the painful symptoms overtaking after a hangover.
In order to restore your body and completely eliminate all unnecessary thoughts, after taking the pill, you need to conduct a rehydration process, which consists in consuming a large amount of healthy fluid throughout the day. As such, mineral water is suitable, which contains a large number of useful elements needed to restore the body after a hangover (calcium, magnesium, chlorine, potassium, sodium).
Throughout the day, a person suffering from a hangover needs to eat properly. Preference should be given to natural chicken stock, vegetables, fruits and light soups.
In the process of healing the body, one must remember that drunken tricks did not harm anyone, no one was offended by them. However, experts assure that if within 48 hours the feeling of remorse was not eliminated, then it’s worthwhile to turn to a psychologist for qualified help. In fact, this specialist will be able to not only help to look at the act with a sober look and help remove a depressing feeling of guilt, but also to prevent its possible manifestation in the future.
What to do if a person has blame
Special attention should be paid to the situation when a person really has a certain degree of guilt before friends and colleagues with whom he drank. Psychologists note that when there is a serious situation in memory that can be repelled by introspection, this is already very good.
At that moment, when a person begins to realize the extent of what he has done, he should ask himself forgiveness for his deed, saying in his mind: "I forgive myself for everything that was said and done yesterday." The main factor in this is unauthorized forgiveness, so the specified or any other phrase close to it must be repeated until the feeling of shame begins to fade.
Psychologists claim that admitting one's own guilt is another step towards forgiving oneself. It is important to accept that such a situation can happen to anyone, and anyone has every right to make a mistake. After all, only he who does nothing is not mistaken.
The practice of psychologists shows that one can get rid of the feeling of shame by some other methods, depending on the situation. Let us consider them in more detail below.
I must apologize
If it is possible to assess the whole situation with a sober look, the guilty person must understand the extent of the problem, as well as the insult and damage caused. After realizing all this, a person should ask for forgiveness from the offended person, and also try to explain to him the whole situation, referring to the inadequacy of perception of the world and everything that is happening at this moment.
Psychologists say that in this situation it does not matter if a person forgives the offender. The main element of action is the demonstration of one’s own sincerity.
Is it a shame to go to work after drinking with colleagues? In this situation, it is important to set yourself up for a favorable outcome of events, as well as remember more positive moments that occurred that evening. Upon arrival at work, you must separately speak with all participants in drunken acts and, if necessary, ask them for forgiveness.
Switching your mind to positive
The recommendations of psychologists quite often say that if you are ashamed after drinking, you need to switch your mind to more pleasant emotions. To reduce the level of sensations, it is worthwhile to occupy yourself with something. Many experts recommend spending all day following the party quite active - in this situation, silent suffering will not lead to anything good.
In the event that the conscience torments for the deeds committed, a person can do a useful thing. It is worth remembering that it is only necessary to bring benefit in a sober view, realizing the full relevance of actions.
In some cases, experts in the field of psychology recommend switching to positive emotions. You can get them from talking with loved ones, watching interesting programs, funny films, etc. If a person is a believer, then in this case he can visit a church - the atmosphere of a holy place will undoubtedly fill the soul with warmth and comfort, due to which the feeling of oppression will instantly leave consciousness.
What can not be done after drinking
Practice shows that most people do huge harm to their body, trying to recover after severe alcohol intoxication. Experts in the field of psychology often notice that when experiencing stress caused by a sense of shame after a corporate booze, some people begin to smoke, trying to ignore the surging sensations. Doctors say that it is absolutely impossible to do this, since the ingress of nicotine into an already weakened human body contributes to its inhibition.
Practice also shows that many people prefer to remove the hangover sensation by introducing a new portion of alcohol into the body, which is also contraindicated.
In addition to all of the above, specialists in the field of medicine strongly do not recommend eating fatty and unhealthy foods, as well as drinking coffee during a hangover, this can only aggravate the situation.
"I don’t remember anything after drinking: what to do?" - People who are not averse to drinking alcohol often ask themselves the question. It is worth noting that in this situation, friends who also took part in the party can clarify the course of events. However, doctors say that in similar situations, you need to pay serious attention to your own health, because temporary loss of memory due to excessively drunk alcohol is not a good sign.
It is also worthwhile to understand that excessive consumption of alcohol for any reason can lead to an aggravation of the situation and to alcoholism, if not eliminated in time.