Nowadays, many daughters-in-law often complain about unrelated relationships with their husband’s mother, literally claiming that their mother-in-law "got it." Moreover, this expression is often pronounced not only by those who have just married and have not had time to adapt to new relatives, but also those who already have a pretty decent length of service. What to do in a situation where the second mother simply does not give life and constantly intervenes with her necessary and unnecessary tips? One thing is certain for sure: if the mother-in-law “got her”, then she should not endure anymore, because if such an intervention is not limited in time, then it will only get worse.
Precautionary measures
To begin with, when an adult married couple lives with their parents in the same house that does not belong to them, then almost always a lot of difficulties arise. Previously, when people lived in large families in which at least three generations were present, similar questions arose, but were smoothed out by the fact that the majority lived in such conditions, and this situation was generally accepted. The status and influence of each family member depended on his age. Now everyone is striving for independence, and therefore such conditions are unacceptable for most young people. That is why, in order not to "get" the mother-in-law, you should initially plan a separate life, regardless of the parents, both on the part of the husband and the wife. Let it be a rented inexpensive apartment, though it will be difficult, but no one will prevent you from building your own family happiness.
What to do if the mother-in-law "got"? Practical tips
The likelihood that the daughter-in-law and the husband’s mother will become wonderful friends is the same as the likelihood that they will turn into implacable enemies. In actual cases, when they cannot get along together, in fact, there are very few, and if they do occur, they are associated either with mental deviations or with a pathological loop on the son. All other cases can and must be overcome. If the mother-in-law "got", first of all you need to try to call her into a frank conversation. Try putting yourself in her place. It is not so easy for a mother to take, and let her child go, in which all her life has been invested. Therefore, it’s worth calmly explaining to her that you love her son no less than she does.
Try to calmly listen to her recommendations and advice, let her be pleased, but at the same time act as you see fit. Sometimes the cause of annoying mother-in-law is her jealousy. In this case, the daughter-in-law is perceived as an invader who has “twisted” and taken away her beloved son. In this case, you need to ask your beloved to pay more attention to the mother so that she does not have a feeling of deprivation. Here is another good way that you can use if you "got" the mother-in-law on economic issues. It is called "provocative therapy." If the second mother loves to give her advice, then when she unexpectedly appears, express joy, and referring to her employment, entrust her with all the matters that she (in her opinion) understands better. After that, quickly leave for work, or for any other need, and in the evening, thank you from the bottom of your heart and say that it scared you terribly. The main thing is to gain strength of spirit and courage for this transition period. And there, you see, everything will gradually improve by itself.