Informal communication is all kinds of personal contacts that occur outside of official relations. In simple terms, it implies a conversation between people without restrictions and compliance with the rules. And yet unofficial communication most often occurs spontaneously. To make contact with someone, a person does not need to formulate phrases in advance, come up with topics and prepare their thoughts. In this case, everything is much simpler. But from the point of view of psychology, this topic is of considerable interest. So it’s worth going deeper into her study.
Types of communication
First, I would like to pay attention to general concepts. Consider the types and forms of communication, to be more precise. It’s worth starting with the most common classification.
There is material communication. We regularly encounter it, since it involves the exchange of products of activity or objects. Cognitive communication is also not rare. Within its framework, an exchange of knowledge and information takes place. Moreover, this refers not only to the contact between the teacher and students, the lecturer and students, the boss and subordinates. If one friend calls another to inquire about the weather in his city before coming to visit, this is also cognitive communication. Let it be informal.
Also, we all are well acquainted with air-conditioned communication. With peers, it is most often practiced. After all, an exchange of emotions and feelings is implied. A vivid example is the situation when a person tries to cheer up his sad friend.
Speaking about the types and forms of communication, it is necessary to highlight another category. It is called motivational. This implies the exchange of goals, desires, interests, motivations and interests. It manifests itself in both informal and business communication. Attempts to persuade a friend to go on a hike are the same motivational element as the bonus promised to the employee who made the most deals.
The last type of communication in the traditional system is called activity. It consists in the exchange of skills. It is carried out in the process of joint activities and often in a formal setting.
Primary proximity
Now you can go to the main topic. Psychologists believe that informal communication exists on the basis of two levels of intimacy. The initial is called primary.
It is formed even at the first contact. Surely it happened to everyone that after an hour of communication with a new acquaintance it seemed as if he was a long-time good friend. A long acquaintance is not required for this, there is a high spontaneity of emotional perception, an unconscious feeling of joy.
The situation is not amenable to voluntary regulation, since in the vast majority of cases the only thing people want is to continue the conversation. It is not surprising, because the primary level is characterized by extraordinary ease, a high degree of understanding and trust, frankness. This is the case when a newly minted friend is called a soul mate an hour after meeting.
Rational level
It is formed after some time has passed since the beginning of communication between people. The rational level is based on the recognition by contacting people of the similarity of norms, values, life experience and attitudes. It is believed that such informal communication is more sustainable.
There are even traditionally distinguished groups that are often found in groups. They are a small informal alliance within one large, holistic business community.
Variety of groups
It is customary to distinguish “pairs” - an alliance of two people mutually sympathetic to each other. Often, one of them only complements or accompanies the other.
There are also triangles. As you might have guessed, these are three people with mutual sympathy. They adhere to informal communication and form their own core within the business team - small, but close and cohesive.
“Squares” are also distinguished. Most often this is a collection of pairs. And the relationship between them is not always the same intensity.
Also in the teams there are “chains”, which are often a source of gossip, rumors and the well-known “damaged phone”.
The last informal group is called the “star”. Its core is a conditional leader, which unites everyone else.
Contradictions
It is believed that informal communication observed between members of the work collective does not always positively affect work.
Particular contradictions cause situations in which friendships bind the leader and subordinate. Peresudov, speculation, envy and suspicion from other colleagues can not be avoided. All actions of the employee will be examined almost under a microscope. Even a well-deserved praise or reward will look like received "by pull". Some people who are not marked by the goodwill of their superiors will be very angry, especially aggressive people will not be shy about starting to plot.
And it happens that the employee himself, close to the leadership, begins to show frivolity, relaxation. Professional responsibilities fade into the background. Why focus on work when your buddy is the boss? In the end, everything ends badly. Informal communication and friendship are abruptly suppressed. The manager is bored with this behavior, and he begins to treat his friend not as a friend, but as a useless irresponsible employee. He, naturally, takes offense and loses the desire to communicate further. This is a vivid and frequent example of proof that one does not need to mix personal relations and business.
On the example of friendship
There are various types of interpersonal relationships. But friendship is the best example of informal communication. It is based on sympathy, common interests and affection, and there is no place for business style of speech in it.
The dialogue and monologue between friends is easy, laid-back. Often they discuss something in their own language, their speech is replete with "private" neologisms. They have a trusting relationship, and they also know almost everything about each other.
What makes such communication possible? Communicative skills that are often not even recognized by people. These include the ability to take into account not only your representative system, but also the interlocutor. Equally important is the ability to positively formulate communication goals, take into account the interests and values of the opponent, and be flexible in the process of dialogue. It is also necessary to be observant of changes in the emotional state of the interlocutor and tune in to his “wave” when necessary. And the above is only a small part of what the art of communicating with people implies.
Speech style
It is also worth noting attention. Surely everyone saw how the communication of children proceeds. It is laid-back and as simple as possible. Children speak as they think. Informal dialogue implies the same thing. This is a real moral rest for the individual. After all, a person can express his thoughts as he wants, and not as prescribed by the rules. What is called a conversational style of speech.
Spoken and colloquial vocabulary, neologisms, jargon, slang, phraseological units, expressively colored or diminutive words, truncations, substantivations - all this and much more can contain dialogue and a monologue, designed in a conversational style.
Speech "interference"
In general, as could be understood from the above, a person in an informal style of communication is given complete freedom of speech. However, not everyone can use it. Why? Everything is elementary. Many people become so familiar with businesslike communication that even while in an informal setting, they continue to speak in an official style.
In principle, there is nothing wrong with this, but it looks, at times, inappropriate. After all, the business style of speech is characterized by compactness and conciseness of presentation, the use of specific terminology, pronounced prepositions, complex conjunctions and verbal nouns. But most of all, the lack of emotional speech means and expression attracts attention.
Distance
So, the characteristic of communication styles was given, now I would like to note the importance of distance. All people are in contact with each other, being at a certain distance. Traditionally, there are four communication zones.
The first is intimate (about 15 cm). Only the closest people usually fall into this zone. Because it can be compared with private intangible property - this is a very personal space. If an unpleasant or stranger tries to get into it, then a feeling of discomfort appears.
The second zone is called personal (up to 50 cm). It is characteristic for both business and informal communication. About half a meter and usually separates friends, talking at ease in a bar or in a cafe at a table. So it’s more convenient to see the interlocutor.
The third and fourth zones are called social (up to 1.2 m) and public (over 1.2 m). They are characteristic of formal communication.
Rules of communication: what you do not need to do
This topic is also worth noting attention. From early childhood, communication with peers teaches us to build a dialogue, collaborate with people around us, and exchange opinions. Over the years, primitive skills are enriched, improved, replenished with new ones. However, there are people who find it very difficult to find a language with others. Sometimes, business relations seem simpler to them than informal, everyday ones. It is they who care about how to communicate with people correctly, and what should be avoided in the process.
If you want to build a positive and productive dialogue, then you do not need to ask personal and vulgar questions. Flattery should also be avoided. A restrained compliment is able to make a pleasant interlocutor and set him up for a conversation, but excessive admiration, bordering on fanaticism, is only alarming.
You don’t have to jerk yet. It's important to keep your body under control. And it’s not enough to talk about yourself, interrupt, shout, lie and invent something in order to develop a conversation. Also, you don’t need to think too long about the answer and look past the other person - you need to learn how to deal with constraint.
Principles of Good Dialogue
Continuing the topic of how to communicate properly, it is worth noting the attention to the rules that are the basis of informal relations.
The most important of them - do not be afraid to show interest in the interlocutor. No idea how to start a conversation? You can just ask a person to be interesting. Let him tell something about himself. The question may concern anything. Favorite movies, music genre, places to relax in the city. Without bringing the conversation to the topic, one may ask whether a person has been abroad somewhere. Yes? Then it will not be superfluous to clarify exactly where and what is interesting there. Not? So, you can clarify whether there is a desire to go somewhere and see something. This topic is very easy to develop.
You can still discuss something topical. Countless events take place daily in the world. Nobody forbids to single out the most significant of them and ask the interlocutor what he thinks of him. Then, in most cases, during the course of the conversation, several more topics “come up” that are suitable for discussion.
Correspondence
This is a great way to improve your art of communication with people. Today, social networks provide endless possibilities for this. In addition, the written form of informal communication is much simpler than oral.
First of all, a person has a chance to formulate his thought. He can type it in the window, re-read, fix it. Or delete and write again, in a different way. In other words, a person in social networks is able to learn how to properly build a dialogue.
In addition to the formation of a culture of communication, there is also an emotional “disclosure” of personality. A person who previously could not communicate, suffering from timidity, indecision and complexes, acquires the skills that are necessary for existence in society. The most important thing is to learn how to transfer them to reality later.
In the end
Summarizing, I would like to say that informal relations are the best example of social interaction of people. In the course of them, the individual uniqueness of each person is manifested, peculiar manners, the specifics of speech and communication. It is an unofficial, everyday, simple environment that allows you to recognize an individual as a person with a capital letter. Because in any other forms and types of communication, there are rules and boundaries. And only in the informal sphere this is not.