Remember the science fiction movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger called āRemember Everythingā? Imagine for a second the opposite situation - you have the opportunity to forget all the bad things that happened in life. How would your life change? Of course, she would be much better. You would not expect a trick from people, would not be afraid of disappointments, would not be tormented by anxiety about future insults and misfortunes.
Is this possible ? The author of the book āRadical forgivenessā claims that this is quite real, would be a desire. In the end, all you need to do is read the work that Colin Tipping wrote. āRadical forgivenessā offers you to go through thirteen steps, after which you will become a different person. This technique is not a religious, psychological or esoteric setting. Step by step, exploring the causes of your resentment, mentally understanding the offenders, you can part with your unnecessary emotions and become free.
Archetype of sacrifice
Do you think that events that happened in the past can lay some imprint on the present? For example, a person broke his leg. The bones fused, but lameness remained, which sometimes manifests itself. However, despite the fact that the physical body is visible, our emotional experiences can have far greater consequences for life than the bodily ones.
According to the authorās thought of Colin Tripping, each of us bears traces of resentment of all life events. Anyone has the archetype of sacrifice. No matter how strong he may seem to others and to himself, from childhood, memories of the injustice of others are drawn.
Resentment towards parents, teachers, teachers, peers, friends accumulates like a heavy load. How much such a specific load can a twenty-year-old person have? At the forty? Therefore, radical forgiveness is the only possible option to become free from this burden and allow ourselves to take a fresh look at life.
Who needs forgiveness?
Many believe that forgiveness is necessary, because it is necessary for our offenders. But Tipping believes differently. āRadical forgivenessā will help you in the first place. The one who hurt you may have forgotten about it a hundred times, moved to another city or even country.
No offense anywhere except in your memory. It turns out that if you canāt really forgive a person, resentment will live with you and take away your strength, which could be very useful.
Negativity for a person who gives offense
Let's take a look at your life. If you are an absolutely happy person who is happy with everything and constantly smiles, then this article, like the book āRadical Forgiveness,ā is not for you.
But such a person is found today at best, one in a thousand. Otherwise, what do we have? Misunderstanding parents, loud, nasty neighbors, gossiping colleagues, self-taught boss, stupid teachers. All these people no, no, and they give us emotional experience. You can blame them for your own troubles, but itās easier to delve into yourself, find the strength to forgive the offender and start a new life, not burdened by anything. So, what 13 steps need to be done to clear from unnecessary cargo?
Step 1 and 2 - describe and introduce
At this step, you need to talk aloud about the situation that causes you to have strong negative emotions. Describe not only the actions committed by you and your offender, but also the emotions that you experience about this.
Imagine the resentment in the form of pain that has accumulated somewhere on your body. Close your eyes, try to feel where it hurts. Put your palm there.
Step 3 and 4 - scream and be aware
The third step - do not restrain yourself. Scream, cry, if you want - use foul language. The technology of radical forgiveness implies complete freedom in expressing your emotions.
The fourth step is awareness. Do you really think that all situations in life are random? The technique of radical forgiveness from Colin Tipping invites you to realize that even such unpleasant moments as violence and insult from other people are not given to you by chance. Understand and accept the fact that this is an occasion for your spiritual and physical development.
5 and 6 steps - understand and accept
Answer the fifth question in the fifth step: "Do you feel that resentment is preventing you from living?" This is one of the necessary parts of a program such as radical forgiveness. German Semenyuk in his technique also offers to answer this question. Awareness of this will help you quickly wish to get rid of unnecessary emotions.
The next step is to give up judgment. Forget that everything in the world is bad and good. It happened - well, it happened, it is now a thing of the past.
7th step and 8th - stop judging yourself
Very often, thinking about his offenders, a person immediately says to himself: āWell, I will tell you, I myself am far from being a saint. I deserve it! ā Until you forgive yourself, you will not forgive others. Remember, you are what you are.
If you want to improve, please, but accept yourself, love and forgive. Stop judging and evaluating yourself. When taking all 13 steps to radical forgiveness in turn, pay special attention to the seventh step. Forgive all your own sins. This is half the success.
The eighth step is closely connected with the seventh - love yourself when you forgive. You are the greatest jewel in this world, and you are worthy of love, primarily from yourself.
9 and 10 step - your offenders are your teachers
Now you can think more broadly. Resentment and offender came to your life not only to bring you bad emotions. It was a lesson to make you wiser, and the person who offended you is your teacher. You can continue to sulk like a child, or you can āgrow upā and see the whole situation from the side.
We give an example. You constantly get reproaches from the boss. It seems that everything in the workplace is not bad, and the salary is good, and relations with colleagues, but the boss is simply unbearable. Itās not your fault, you know that you are just the perfect employee. How to be, how to forgive the boss? Just let go of the situation. Think, but is it a sign that itās time for you to change jobs, find a new, understanding boss?
Or here is another example. You are too busy with work affairs, spend your whole life in the office and in communication with colleagues. And then you will find out that your beloved spouse cheated on you. What to do, how to forgive her? And not because it happened because you did not pay attention to her? Because at first you cheated on her with your work?
The tenth step is to accept the fact that your offenders are worthy people who simply played a role in improving your life. Here's what Colin Tipping offers. āRadical forgivenessā is a program that works only when you can not only forgive bad people, but also admit that they are no worse than you. Yes, they played a negative role in your life. But arenāt it thanks to them that you have become better, stronger today? Where would you be and what would happen to you, if you had not once experienced a difficult moment?
Eleventh and twelfth step - you feel better
At the eleventh step, it is necessary to recognize the fact that in any situation, even the most unfavorable, there is a Divine or Higher manifestation of wisdom and love. Whatever happens - it is necessary, and first of all for you. Without this situation, you cannot see, grow wiser, become better, braver, stronger.
Answer the question - do you feel that resentment recedes, that you feel better, easier? This is the twelfth step of the Radical Forgiveness program. Testimonials from people who attended the Tipping workshop indicate that the answer comes easily. And that answer is yes. When you look at the situation with different eyes, abandoning your own judgments, everything looks different. And offenders, and your feelings in this regard. You can understand that the situation was by no means random, but quite logical, based on what you had or how you behaved.
Final thirteenth step
The last step happens by itself. You just understand that something inside you has changed for the better, as if the flow of energy has changed its direction. At the thirteenth stage, the old story does not even go back in time, it moves into non-existence. Those forces that you spent on chewing on a problem, its conceptualization, are released. And now, you are already new, you can devote your free time to creation, creation, daydreaming.
Summarizing
Since childhood, most of us have accumulated resentment. If we imagine our memory in the form of a bottomless closet, then almost every day we put there old, moth-beaten things, broken toys, unnecessary parts and rubbish.
Somewhere in the closet are books, valuables, new clothes, but amidst all this ājunkā you cannot find what you need. The āRadical Forgivenessā technique offers to effectively clear the rubble and free up space for yourself and your happy life. Do not ask who needs this, as it is for you.
Your abusers are not evil people or even forces. No, these are the same individuals as you, they just have a special role to play - to teach you something. Of course, learning can also be with the help of a ācarrotā, but if you have children or pets, then you understand that a āstickā is sometimes inevitable. Therefore, do not judge the evil of your offenders, do not wish them sorrows - they were necessary to you no less than your friends. Accept the lesson, and just let offenders, resentment and all emotions that destroy you. It will be very simple to do after completing 13 steps of radical forgiveness under the Colin Tipping program.