Conflict is something that can arise both in family and friendships, and in the work environment. The behavior of people in conflict situations determines the outcome of not only the quarrel itself, but also the relationship as a whole. That is why it is very important to be able to correctly resolve various disagreements or, even better, to be able to get around them. So how to behave in conflict situations correctly? Find out!
What is conflict?
The types of disagreements and quarrels are diverse, but they all have one essence.
First of all, conflict is a situation created to resolve the contradiction of two people in the form of activity of both parties, necessary in order to achieve justice. Avoiding disputes is extremely undesirable, since in most cases misunderstandings occur due to the appearance of understatement, and this does not benefit any of the conflicting parties. Suppressing quarrels and disagreements is dangerous, because this can contribute to the adoption of rash decisions.
Stages of a conflict situation :
- The first stage is the stage of the potential formation of conflicting values, interests, views, and norms of behavior.
- The second stage - at this stage the potential discord becomes real, or the participants in the conflict situation are aware of their true and false interests.
- The third stage is the quarrel itself.
- The fourth stage is the removal or resolution of conflicts.
What are the main causes of disagreement?
Conflict resolution is based on an understanding of the causes of their occurrence. Often the causes of disputes are the lack of mutual understanding between people, as well as the presence of diametrically opposed interests and approaches to solving problems. Perhaps the reason for the disagreement is revenge, envy, resentment, or a low culture of communication. A quarrel can be based on such things as the usual incompatibility of characters or the inability to find a common language. The reasons may be the behavior of “difficult” employees or simple troubles in the organization of labor activity, for example, emergency workers.
What differences between people can cause conflict?
One of the leading causes of disagreement is the differences between the disputes. Despite the fact that people are born equal in rights and free in their dignity, most often in reality they are more than different. Compatibility is influenced by many factors, for example, a different understanding than the opponent’s understanding of the meaning of the work, differences in worldview, non-identical interests, incompatibility of characters, dissimilar attitude to work and responsibilities, as well as different levels of preparedness for the work and, most importantly, affordable them ways of resolving conflict situations.
Types of Conflict
In most classifications, collisions are divided into constructive and destructive.
For constructive conflicts, a characteristic feature is the touching on the fundamental aspects and vital problems of the parties to the dispute. The resolution of this type of disagreement takes the quarrel participants to a new stage in the development of personality, while destructive disputes often have disappointing consequences. Destructive actions in conflict situations, such as squabbles, gossip or other negative phenomena, in most cases reduce the effectiveness of the group.
What types of conflicting personalities exist?
First of all, it should be noted that there are several classifications of people involved in disputes. Your personality type will help determine the test. Behavior in a conflict situation largely depends on this. The following is a list of possible behaviors.
Pedant. This type of personality is extremely accurate: it is punctual, boring, picky, although fulfilling. He tends to push people away from him.
Demonstrative personality type. Typically, these people are choleric. They are characterized by constant rapid activity, which is conducted in a wide variety of directions. For the demonstrative personality type , conflicts are vital. These people like to be constantly in sight and often have high self-esteem.
Conflict-free. This type of personality tends to consciously move away from conflict situations. In addition, he knows how to shift the solution of problems to others. Often unprincipled. And the conflict, in turn, grows like a snowball and, falling to this type of personality on the head, leaves unpleasant consequences.
Leech. This person will not be rude to you, will not say filth, will not offend. However, after communicating with him, both mood and well-being deteriorate, fatigue appears.
Inert or rigid type of personality. People who do not know how to rebuild, or, in other words, do not take into account changes in circumstances and situations, and also accept the opinions and points of view of others. This type is capable of showing painful touchiness. They are ambitious and suspicious.
Tank. This type of personality is characterized by such qualities as rudeness, pressure and unceremoniousness. Style of behavior: go ahead to the very end. In most cases, these people tend to despise all the subtleties of relationships, other people's opinions and feelings.
Vata. At first glance, this type of personality gives the impression of a decent and flexible person. Often he is accommodating and ready to make concessions. At the very beginning of communication, there are no problems. However, in the future you will notice that this type of person does not fulfill promises.
Prosecutor. A person belonging to this type of personality criticizes very specific people: neighbors, car owners, sellers and controllers. After he tells you who should work and how, give arguments and draw conclusions, he will certainly feel better. This type of personality is driven by the desire to speak and be heard.
What will contribute to ending the differences?
Any types of conflict situations can be successfully resolved if the following two circumstances are observed.
The first factor: the quarrel participants understand the existing disagreements, as well as recognize each other's right to their opinion.
The second factor: both parties agree to abide by certain rules of the game. This makes communication between them more efficient.
Possible styles of behavior when dealing with "harmful" people
Controlling behavior in conflict situations is important so as not to aggravate the quarrel.
One of the styles of behavior is to earn the love of the opponent and simply prevent the occurrence of conflict.
The second style of communication is stress relief. Are you openly provoking? Take a deep breath through your nose, draw fresh air into your lungs, imagine all the anger or irritation that is in you, and exhale it all. This technique will allow you to control yourself and not act "on emotions."
To make it easier to find a common language with people, collect jokes, funny pictures and stories. When communicating with a "harmful" person, they will help you.
Among other things, one can openly protest against rudeness.
If a “harmful” person nevertheless spoils your mood, then just don’t think about it. Either think of something good, or who is unsympathetic to you. The choice is yours.
How to behave in conflict situations?
During a quarrel, each side can choose one of three possible strategies: 1) to achieve victory by all means available at the moment; 2) get away from the scandal, not enter into opposition; 3) to negotiate in order to overcome the differences peacefully, or by finding a compromise. So how to behave in conflict situations? What line of behavior to choose?
Avoiding or avoiding a quarrel
If you get into a conflict situation, you just need to ignore your opponent and not give in to provocations. There is only one essence in this behavior strategy: I don’t care what decision will be made and what actions will follow. Naturally, by this you show neglect of your own interests.
Compulsion
There are situations when it is not important for you to get out of the conflict, but it is important to defend your views. The tactics of “Coercion” is to convince, to force the opponent to agree with your point of view. This strategy is used when you think that your opinion is the most important and correct, and the opinion of others is absolutely indifferent to you. It makes people do what you want, and fully comply with your intentions.
Loyalty
Used when we have a high interest in the opinions of others and low in relation to their own. You need to completely agree with the opinion of the opponent, while not expressing any of your desires and thoughts. This tactic helps not to create a conflict at all or to resolve it quickly.
Compromise
The strategy is used when you have an average interest in the opinion of the opponent and you want to resolve the dispute or avoid it altogether. Tactics are based on the fact that both you and the opponent give up part of their desires in order to resolve conflicts, trying to find a solution that will satisfy both.
This strategy is very effective, very useful, but the main minus is that you must abandon some part of your claims. As a result, the solution of the conflict situation does not bring satisfaction of all needs.
Cooperation
Immediately make a reservation that this is the most effective strategy of behavior. It is effective when you have a high interest in the opinion of the opponent and in your interests. The strategy of "Cooperation" is to fully satisfy the interests of both parties.
Possible obstacles to ending a disagreement
In addition to the basic question of how to behave in conflict situations, it is still important to know what might prevent quenching:
- If the parties to the dispute see a way out of the conflict exclusively in their victory.
- If there is a quarrel in the quarrel, there are emotional aspects that impede concessions or compromises.
- If the parties to the conflict lack the skills to compromise and negotiate.
- If the parties use ineffective strategies in dispute resolution.
What hinders conflict management?
- One or both sides wish to continue to quarrel.
- The parties to the conflict believe that their interests are mutually exclusive, which is why they perceive the dispute as a struggle.
- The emotional relationship between the arguing parties is such that they cannot interact constructively.
- If the parties differently perceive the essence of the quarrel. This can happen if the participants in the conflict situation have an initial discrepancy in values or they interpret the situation differently.
- The fact that disagreement and argument is just the tip of the iceberg, and its resolution does not matter much.