To date, the problem of education is quite common when the child does not want to go to school. Parents of both elementary school students and adolescents may encounter this phenomenon. What should adults do in this case? First of all, you should discard the idea that you have a bad son or daughter, or that you are to blame for the situation. And then you need to understand the reason why your child says: "I do not want to go to school." What should he do to study with pleasure? Tips for parents to resolve this issue are given in this article.
Identification of reasons for unwillingness to learn
When parents feel that the child is getting sadder as autumn approaches, they should definitely find out the reason for this condition.
If we are talking about a primary school student, special attention should be paid to his drawings. After all, kids often display their fears on paper. Perhaps the main theme of the drawing will be an evil teacher or children who are fighting. Also a good option to identify the causes of unwillingness to go to school can be a game. For example, a beloved bear cries when September 1 comes. Or the bunny refuses to go to school. Let the baby explain the reason for this behavior of toys.
In the case when the words "I do not want to go to school" are heard from the lips of a high school student, the root of the problem can be identified only by means of a confidential conversation with your child.
School Adaptation Period
During September-October, the adaptation of a son or daughter to school. In some children, the addictive period can last even until the New Year. At this time, parents who hear: “I do not want to go to school,” are advised of the following:
- give the child more attention than usual;
- observe what the son or daughter draws, what games he prefers and what he / she cares about;
- strongly support the baby;
- try to communicate more often with his teachers and classmates.
You should also be responsible for observing the daily routine. Moreover, this applies to both primary school students and high school students. A prerequisite is a fixed time for going to bed. You should also set an alarm clock so that the morning awakening does not occur at the last moment, when it is time to leave the house, but there is the opportunity to calmly wake up, stretch, do exercises, have breakfast and go to school. Nervousness and lateness - a categorical "no"!
If the child does not want to go to school, the reasons for this may be different. It is necessary to dwell on each of them. First, consider the problems that may occur in primary school children.
The first reason. First-grader's fear of the new and unknown
Why don't children want to go to school? The first reason for this is the fear of something new and unknown, which is most often experienced by home, "non-Sadik" kids. They are afraid of a lot of factors. For example, that mom will not be able to be constantly around, that she will need to communicate with people who were previously unfamiliar, that classmates will turn out to be unfriendly. Sometimes children who are not accustomed to independence, are even afraid to go to the toilet, as it seems to them that they may get lost in the corridors.
If a child, precisely because of fear of a new one, says: “I do not want to go to school,” what should parents do in this situation? It should be in the last days of August to give the child a tour of the school so that he gets acquainted with classrooms, corridors and toilets. And then on September 1, all these places will already be familiar to the baby, and he will not be so scared. If you are lucky enough to meet other, older students, it is recommended to talk with them in front of the child, and maybe even introduce them to your baby. Let the older guys tell the future first-grader how they like to study, what good teachers work at school, how many new friends you can make here.
Parents can also tell their life stories about how they were afraid to go to first grade, which was exactly what scared them. Such stories must have a happy ending. Then the baby realizes that there is nothing to worry about, and everything will definitely be fine.
The second reason. The presence of negative experience in a primary school student
Sometimes it happens that a child who says: “I don’t want to go to school” already had the opportunity to experience the educational process earlier. Maybe he already graduated from first grade. Or the kid attended preschool classes. And as a result, the experience gained was negative. There can be many reasons for this. For example, the child was teased by other children. Or it was hard for him to learn new information. Or maybe there were conflicts with the teacher. After such unpleasant moments, the child is afraid of their repetition and, accordingly, says: "I do not want to go to school."
What should parents do in this case? The main advice, as in all other cases, is to talk with the child. If the conflict with the teacher was to blame, you need not say that the teacher is bad. Indeed, for a first grader, he is almost the first unfamiliar representative of the adult world. Communicating with him, the child learns to build relationships with elders. Parents should try to look at the situation with an open mind and understand who is right and who is to blame. If the baby did something wrong, you need to point out to him a perfect mistake. If the teacher is to blame, then the child should not talk about it. Just write it, for example, in a parallel class to minimize their communication with this teacher.
If there was a conflict with classmates, you should analyze this situation, give the right advice and teach the child to solve problems of this nature. The kid should be informed that you will always support him, that you are on his side and that he can always count on you, but he must deal with his peers himself. The main task of parents is to explain how to get out of such situations so that all parties to the conflict are satisfied.
The third reason. Fear of a first grader that he will not be able to do something
From early childhood, parents, without suspecting it, nurtured a similar fear in their child. When he said that he wanted to do something on his own, the adults did not give him such an opportunity and argued that the baby would not succeed. Therefore, now that a child does not want to go to school, they may have fear that they will not be able to study well or that classmates will not want to be friends with him.
What should parents do in this situation? It is necessary to recall as often as possible the moments when the child achieved success, praise him and be sure to cheer him up. The kid should know that mom and dad are proud of him and believe in his victory. It is necessary to rejoice with his first-grader his small achievements. You should also entrust him with various important tasks so that the child understands that they trust him.
The fourth reason. It seems to the elementary school student that the teacher does not like him
A primary school student may have a problem when it seems to him that the teacher does not like him. Often this is due only to the fact that there are many children in the class and the teacher simply does not have the opportunity to personally address each child and praise him. Sometimes a kid just needs to make one comment to make him think that the teacher is biased towards him. The consequence of this is that the child does not want to go to school.
What should adults do if a similar situation arises? First of all, you need to explain to your son or daughter that the teacher is not mom and dad, not a friend or buddy. The teacher must give knowledge. You need to listen carefully and ask questions when something is not clear. Parents should communicate with the teacher, consult with him and be interested in the success of the baby. In the case when the teacher really did not like your child and you can not influence it, you should advise the child not to pay attention to nit-picking. If the conflict is really serious, you need to consider transferring the child to a parallel class.
Now it is the turn to consider the reasons for the reluctance to learn from adolescents.
The fifth reason. High school student does not understand why he should study
Sometimes it happens that a high school student says: “I don’t want to go to school” because he does not understand why he needs acquired knowledge and where he can subsequently apply it.
What should parents do in this situation? You need to try to tie the subjects studied in school to real life. You must learn to find physics, chemistry, geography and biology in the world around you. To form an interest in acquiring knowledge, it is recommended that you visit museums, exhibitions, and educational excursions with your child. When walking in the park, you can try to draw his plan together. Ask your high school student to help you translate the text from English, and then be sure to thank him. The main task of parents is to form a strong interest of the child in obtaining knowledge at school.
Reason six. Poor student performance
Often the reason for the reluctance to learn is the banal poor performance of the student. He simply cannot understand what the teacher is talking about. The main emotion in the lesson becomes boredom. The longer this misunderstanding takes place, the more probable is the development of a deadlock situation, when the essence of the subject finally eludes the child. And if the teacher scolded or ridiculed the student in front of the whole class for poor progress, then the desire to learn this subject can leave the high school student forever. It is not surprising that in such a situation the child does not want to go to school.
How to help a teenager in this case? The easiest way to fill in his lost knowledge on a particular subject, when the discovered problem arose relatively recently. If one of the parents is knowledgeable in the necessary industry and if he has the necessary patience, you can deal with the child at home. A good option is to visit a tutor. But first of all, you should try to explain to the high school student how important knowledge of a particular subject is. Without awareness of this fact, all subsequent classes may be wasted.
Reason seven. High school student is not interested
Another reason why a child does not want to attend school may be his giftedness. Sometimes a high school student who grasps information on the fly is simply not interested in attending classes. After all, the educational process is designed for average students. And if the child has to listen to information that is familiar to him, his attention becomes dull and a feeling of boredom appears.
What should the parents of a gifted child do? If the school has a class for such students, it is recommended that you transfer your son or daughter there. If not, then you need to help the child satisfy his curiosity through independent studies.
In the case when the lack of interest in learning is not due to special giftedness, but to the banal lack of motivation, you need to try to interest the child. It is necessary to identify several main areas that attract him, and help him develop in this vein. For example, if a son or daughter is interested in a computer, let him / she help you complete simple tasks for your work. For this, the child should be thanked, or maybe even allocated a symbolic salary. This will be the motivation that is necessary in this case.
Reason eight. Undivided love of a high school student
In adolescents, the problem of unrequited love can arise very sharply due to their age, temperament and hormonal background. The child pronounces the words “I do not want to go to school” because of a reluctance to see the object of his feelings.
In such a situation, parents are strictly forbidden to shower the son or daughter with ridicule, since the case is really serious. Their task is to be near, support and encourage their child and conduct heart-to-heart conversations when a teenager is ready for this. If he asks to transfer him to another school, parents should not agree and go on about the emotions of a high school student. It should be explained that emerging problems need to be addressed, not run away from them. Convince the child that over time everything will work out and a new happiness is surely ahead of him.
Reason nine. Conflict of a teenager with classmates
The reasons for the conflict of the child with classmates can be varied. It is difficult to do without contentious situations and conflicts of interest. But if relations with other teenagers are constantly tense, the student begins to feel like an outcast and, of course, his mother hears: "I do not want to go to school." The child is constantly in a state of stress, the school is becoming a place, even thoughts about which cause an unpleasant sensation in a high school student. The combination of these factors destroys his self-esteem and negatively affects the attitude of the child.
The main thing that parents should not do in this case is to let the situation drift. You should try to call a son or daughter for a confidential conversation. After this, you need to tell your vision of the solution to the problem, give some advice. For example, to keep the student at breaks close to the teacher or another adult. In case of ridicule and aggression from classmates, one should leave silently, avoiding visual contact and not responding to provocations. The child should feel confident and not practice victim behavior. His posture, his head held high, his confident look will speak of this. A high school student should not be afraid to say no.
In the event of an aggravation of the situation, to solve the problem, it is necessary to involve teachers and a school psychologist, if there is one in the educational institution that your child visits.
Why don't children want to go to school? The main task of each parents is to find the answer to this question in relation to their child. If the cause could be identified, then solving the problem is not so difficult. If you could not cope on your own, you should seek help from teachers or a school psychologist. Parents should never solve the problem using forceful methods or by putting pressure on their son or daughter. The child should feel that mom and dad are always on his side and are ready to support him at any time.