Manipulation in communication occurs constantly, and despite the negative connotation inherent in this word, it is not always evil. In our article, we will consider the most typical examples of manipulations in communication between close people, in parent-child relationships and in business communication.
Manipulation is the impact on a communication partner in order to achieve what is desired from him. Moreover, this effect is necessarily hidden when the interlocutor talks about one thing, wanting to get another. Communication manipulations are constantly used not only by trade workers of any link in order to make a profit. Consciously or not, everyone uses certain phrases to keep a loved one / cause him to feel guilty / force to agree with a partner. It seems to you that such games are beyond your dignity, and that you, as a rational person, do not succumb to these tricks? Remember, have you ever heard / used such phrases: “Only you understand me”, “You don't love me at all!”, “If you leave, then I ...”. The arsenal is inexhaustible. However, more often than not, manipulations in communication look less sinister and pursue smaller goals. The banal “Nobody makes such delicious tea!” Did no harm to anyone.
Manipulations in communication can be extended in time. To constantly maintain the attention of the object of affection, reminders of good experiences are used, as well as expensive gifts, and shifting responsibility, and the pressure of public morality ...
Parents and children
The topic of manipulation in parent-child relationships may not be so vital, however, we all took a certain “baggage” from childhood into adulthood and often continue to use the techniques learned in the family. Manipulations are harmless when their goal is to feed and timely redeem a child without an evening scandal. However, there are certain “taboos” for parents who seek to grow a person who is confident in themselves and the world around them . These are manipulations on the feeling of love, fear, guilt and self-doubt (“If you do not, as I say, I will give it to someone else’s aunt”).
At work
Manipulations in business communication are also widespread and rely on the same arsenal. They use pride, the vanity of man; special tactics may apply. For example, ignoring, that is, intentional inattention. Such tactics are aimed at creating a sense of anxiety, self-doubt. Motivation tactics can also be applied when a positive motivation is created for another person to fulfill his tasks.
How to fight
If you think that you are being manipulated, and you do not intend to give in further, there are a number of recommendations on how to counter this. First of all, trust your intuition and experience. If it seems to you that your partner is not completely honest, most likely you have a reason. Perhaps it expresses facial expressions, changing intonation. And if you suspect that the suitcase has a second bottom, think about what all this is for. An integral characteristic of manipulation in communication is the presence of a hidden motive. If it is already clear to you, you can directly interrupt the game that is unpleasant for you, making it clear to the interlocutor that you have guessed his intentions. In the case of relatives and friends, this can be quite painful and fraught with a break in relations. You can also use the revealed truth for your own purposes, but for this you also need to have a cold head and also be at least a little manipulator.
Psychologists say that manipulation is a tool of communication, and therefore are not in themselves “good” or “bad”. It is important how they affect your life and to what extent you can resist them. Additional information can be obtained at special workshops, trainings, where skills to protect against manipulation are practiced. Those who are just starting to get acquainted with this vast topic can be advised to familiarize themselves with the works of E. Berne, who calls manipulation "games." This is a psychotherapeutic approach to the problem. Among those who rely on a social approach, first of all - the domestic author A.P. Yegides, who offers an understandable look at manipulations and ways to counter them.