In many religions, we are taught to forgive not only our loved ones, but also to forget our own mistakes of the past. However, it is worth doing this only after learning from the experience gained.
Misconduct is part of life
Life is not permanently smooth, on the way of every person there are bumps that he has to overcome in order to improve himself. What we went through tempers us and makes us stronger. The most important thing is to admit: “I am to blame” (if this is true), draw conclusions and move on.
If you make a mistake, harm others, become a victim of deception or false errors, first of all, try to correct the situation. However, this is not always possible. Sometimes people are tormented by the final result of their own actions. The soul is aggravated by sad thoughts and the desire to return everything back, to do otherwise.
In this case, the church, and just common sense, offers to repent, to forgive oneself, to forget all the bad experiences associated with this incident. In such situations, it is very important not to go completely and irrevocably into the sphere of emotions, not to lose one’s head.
Lean on a sober mind
You should be guided by logic, reassure yourself with the thought that your actions were wrong and led to bad consequences, but in the future you will not do this again, because you gained invaluable experience. As they say, only one who does nothing is not mistaken.
If earlier you made this or that decision, you saw the point in this. Not always a person has adequate and truthful information about everything that happens around. He may become a victim of fraud or misinterpretation of the facts. The good news is that the mistakes of the past will most likely teach you to be careful in the future, carefully think through each step, and plan your own actions wisely. Very few manage to realize this in theory, and only a select few learn from the failures of others. But it is better to get knowledge in this way than not to get it at all.
Everything happens as it should
Life is like wandering in a dark room with porcelain dishes on the shelves. If you want, you don’t want, and if you do not turn on the light, you’ll hurt something. Each mistake prompts us to light a new light in our path, thanks to which the truth is revealed before our eyes.
How to forgive yourself if after a while you notice how stupid and unjustified were your own actions logically? It’s worth calming down and realizing that in the past your knowledge base was much more modest and increased precisely because of the failure for which you reproach yourself so much. Isn’t it more rational, on the contrary, to praise and thank yourself for not sitting idly by, but trying to do at least something?
Many even limit their activities, because they are too insecure, afraid to make mistakes. Although they still feel guilty and ashamed because of their own constriction. So both action and inaction are good in place and in time. Few are born with an intuitive sense of this subtle harmony. You can figure out how to act, it is with experience, after you have stepped on a couple of rakes.
Set yourself free
There is nothing worse than living with a heavy weight on the soul, not knowing how to forgive yourself. People who accept this kind of thinking themselves poison their lives. If it is possible to correct the deed - do it, if not - apologize.
If you can’t even apologize, it remains only to analyze the situation and develop a model of action for further such cases. But this is already a lot.
Human experience is crucial. Going through separate situations, we become wiser. Thinking that everything could have worked out much better, do not forget that, most likely, there simply were not proper conditions for this. As it is impossible to build a durable house on a poor foundation, it is impossible to get a good result under the conditions of poor prerequisites.
The problem needs to be sorted out
In any case, you should try to justify yourself. But that doesn’t just mean giving up on the situation. Only unscrupulous people can do this, always putting their interests at the forefront. The main argument for forgiveness is that you pursued false ideas, did not have enough information.
Few people can see the future, so often you have to go through life in the dark. Someone examines the road carefully, but even he is not safe from embarrassment. Not to mention impulsive and impressionable people. This is not to say that these are bad traits. They can play a pretty good role in a number of other situations. Finding the right path, such individuals direct all their passion in a good direction. But if such a person, essentially a maximalist, stumbles, he will repeat himself hundreds of times: “I’m guilty, how could I make such a mistake?” And bitterly nibble your own elbows. In essence, it is a waste of energy. Sooner or later, when emotions still subside, they have to draw conclusions and live on.
Relapses of Self-Flagellation
Man cannot suffer indefinitely. The world around him is constantly changing, not standing still. New goals will appear, and the acquired experience will serve properly when they are achieved. However, many people suffer from the fact that periodically (it happens once a week, every month - differently for everyone) they are pricked with a sharp sting of conscience. How to forgive yourself in such a situation?
If you suffer from such relapses, it means that you did not understand the situation before. It’s not enough just to get away from the problem, it needs to be comprehended, perfectly understood and drawn conclusions. Nowadays, people have little time and a lot of extra information around. To hammer a head is not a problem. But left alone with yourself, you will feel that an old guest is knocking on the door - the past.
In such situations, it can go down to depression. It’s like you killed someone, fled the scene of a crime and suddenly stumbled upon an empty skull gape from under the decaying flesh. Unpleasant sensations. The soul at such moments experiences real throwing and depression. A man assures himself of his own stupidity, depravity and worthlessness. In such situations it is very important to learn to forgive yourself. Then the terrible obsession that comes from time to time in your heart will dissipate, as if under the rays of the dawn sun, expelling the darkness from the dank and chilled streets overnight.
Defensive reaction
Our well-being directly depends on the level of self-esteem. A person cannot live peacefully with the realization that he is bad. Everyone wants to know that he is doing the right thing, deep down everyone wants one thing: harmony and happiness for themselves and those around them.
In our society it often happens that people's souls are covered with a crust of cynicism, which has always been a strange fashion. Outwardly, it seems that the individual has no principles, he does not feel sorry for anyone or anything. But the truth is that, as a rule, this equanimity is only a protective reaction, applied in order not to get an emotional wound from society. This phenomenon manifests itself even more when the reason is not so much in society as in its own deep feelings.
Unresolved issues
Not knowing how to forgive oneself, a person will be assured of their depravity, and at the same time of the sinfulness of the entire world around them. Of course, in practice it often happens that people act badly to achieve their own interests or, again, because of a lack of information. But this cannot be considered the norm. It can be recognized that this is happening, but at the same time there is a need to work to improve the situation.
This can be achieved by introspection and the ability to understand the world around. A person should not give up on everything, clog his head with unnecessary information and drag around consumer values, with the help of which, we are assured, any spiritual wound can be healed.
A fool is not one who makes mistakes, but one who does not learn from them
When people eat themselves from the inside, people around them often tell them something like: “You think too much. Distract yourself. ” Will not help. More precisely, only for a while. For relief and spiritual purity, comprehensive freedom to come finally, you need to carefully understand your motives, realize what exactly led to the undesirable result, and promise yourself to avoid such situations in the future.
After such an internal cleaning, you will begin to respect yourself much more and, finally, I'm sorry. There is nothing unusual and fatal in making mistakes. You should take such things as a chance to become wiser and increase your experience. The real stupidity is to run away from the problem and fall into the same trap again.