The complex of guilt in psychology is a topic that is being actively studied from different angles. She is dedicated to various research papers, articles and dissertations. Each person at least once in his life experienced this painful feeling, which hinders his awareness of himself as a promising person worthy of the highest praise. The guilt complex is a condition that appears as a result of certain life circumstances. It does not allow you to feel happy, strive for great achievements. The feeling that you have done something wrong in life significantly undermines mental health and contributes to the accumulation of negative emotions.
Often it is present in parents who, for one reason or another, could not make their child happy. It begins to seem to them that nothing can be corrected. The psychology of the guilt complex is such that it only increases with time. If the situation is not resolved for the better, then a person is inclined to shut himself in, significantly undermines his physical and mental strengths.
Signs
There are certain symptoms by which you can notice that a person is burdened with guilt. Of course, this affects his behavior, his relationships with others. An individual cannot be in a constant voltage state for a long time. Sooner or later this will lead to its consequences. Let us consider in more detail the signs of a guilt complex. They are so bright that it is simply impossible not to notice them.
Psychological discomfort
Due to constant stress, a person gradually develops a condition that cannot be called pleasant. It begins to undermine it from within, to influence the everyday process of making important decisions.
Psychological discomfort contributes to the fact that individuals have to constantly suppress their interests. By sacrificing our own values, we experience fear, resentment, disappointment, and ongoing anxiety.
Decrease in self-esteem
The complex of guilt necessarily changes the attitude towards oneself. The personality suffers, desires and aspirations begin to be perceived as unimportant, not worthy of special attention. There is a significant decrease in self-esteem. Against the background of strong emotions that have arisen, a person begins to doubt his own abilities. Any undertakings seem doubtful to him, and the prospects are vague. This state is quite logically explained: when we feel guilty of something, then the desire to achieve something, to make certain efforts disappears.
Feeling of depression
The guilt complex, one way or another, affects our attitude. It begins to seem to a man that in the future he will no longer expect anything good. Of course, this is always an exaggeration, but negative emotions cannot be eliminated too quickly. Nightmares can haunt quite a long time, making it difficult to feel happy and self-sufficient. A feeling of depression arises in response to a constant overstrain of the nervous system.
Sadness and despondency become companions of man. He ceases to notice how he misses emerging opportunities and often gives up before he even tries to take the first step. Such a condition does not contribute to starting to engage in oneself, does not lead to development. The person is controlled by despondency, only negative impressions accumulate in him. A person just begins to slowly fade. He can no longer openly rejoice at some successful acquisitions, because he constantly looks back at his past.
The desire to please in everything
The guilt complex most seriously affects relationships with the outside world. A person ceases to feel capable of great achievements, is afraid to act in accordance with his inner convictions. He unconsciously appears desire to please everyone. This is done in order not to cause the anger of the interlocutor, not to provoke the development of a quarrel. However, the habit of justifying others' expectations does not bring anyone to good. Soon, the personality loses its individuality, ceases to understand what it needs in life. This is the case when guilt can be so crushing from the inside that there will be no strength left for active actions.
Feeling of insignificance
The child’s guilt complex often appears in response to the exorbitant demands of parents. That is why father and mother need to abandon the idea of comparing their child with other children. Otherwise, the child will not learn to understand his achievements.
He will cease to somehow feel his value, therefore, in everything he will strive to please others. The feeling of being insignificant has an incredibly detrimental effect on the emotional component. As a result, self-esteem falls, the child does not want to make any efforts in order to achieve any satisfactory results. A complex of guilt before parents can appear in adulthood, if a person has not been able to successfully arrange his life. In some cases, people are so focused on despair and hopelessness that they no longer notice the prospects.
Inability to solve problems
Another sign by which one can immediately suspect that a person is tormented by guilt. He literally gives up in the face of difficulties and ceases to fight for better conditions. The inability to solve problems is manifested in all areas of life: in personal relationships, at work, etc. If any unpleasant event occurs that leaves a serious imprint on the perception of reality, then the attitude towards the situation itself also changes in a negative direction.
This may include the survivor’s guilt complex, when a person cannot be happy that circumstances were much more successful for him than for others. When any global incidents occur and people die as a result, then the one who has survived for some time experiences an insurmountable spiritual emptiness. He feels guilty for having prematurely left this world while he was more fortunate.
How to get rid
Obviously, the presence of guilty feelings adversely affects the individual. Sometimes it becomes even hard to imagine how people drive themselves into certain frames and are afraid to get out of there. Having such a discord in the soul, one can hardly count on success in life. If a person cannot overcome this state in himself, he is unlikely to be able to manage his own life in the future. Let's consider in more detail how to get rid of the guilt complex? First of all, you need to change your attitude to life.
Awareness of Reasons
Nothing in our life just happens. There are reasons for everything. It is necessary to realize the reasons in order not to remain in such a painful and depressing state for months and years. Perhaps in the past there was some situation that later influenced the attitude towards oneself. Being guilty of something is a pretty serious test.
Not everyone can stand it. It often happens that after parting in a couple, people experience a certain awkwardness in front of their own children. The complex of guilt in front of a child for a divorce is a fairly common situation. Some parents are ready to literally shower their child with endless gifts, only to compensate for those unpleasant feelings that he had to endure. Of course, this is not a way out. Positive changes will begin only after the recognition of their own mistakes.
Ability to refuse
The habit of always and in everything agreeing with the interlocutor can adversely affect self-esteem. If we get used to please others at all costs, we will certainly lose our sense of self-worth. This happens completely unconsciously. Sacrificing oneself, one cannot remain contented with life. Full self-realization also becomes impossible. Developing a new behavior strategy is always not easy, but you need to try. You must learn to say no to sentences that do not have a pleasant prospect. Think, is there always a need to pay attention to all the requests of your distant relatives, work colleagues or just acquaintances? If you seriously fear that people will stop communicating with you, then in vain. Self-confident respect, but indecisive use. Make the right decision for yourself and be able to free yourself from a heavy burden.
Awareness of one’s worth
This is a very important acquisition that cannot be underestimated. Guilt is especially tormenting for those who for some reason do not know how to value themselves. In constant concern, we lose a large amount of creative energy, which could be useful for something good. If you are used to living in criticism and simply do not know how to rebuild your thinking, you will have to try. Try to look at the problem from a different perspective.
Believe me, you do not have to meet all the expectations of others. The main thing is to find an opportunity to engage in your life, to realize your own desires and aspirations. After all, it is still impossible to keep up with other people's demands. So is it worth it to torment yourself in vain suffering?
Individual aspirations
In order for the result to ultimately turn out to be positive, you need to know what you should move towards in life. Your individual aspirations should be as clear as possible. Some people suffer from the fact that they don’t know what to direct their efforts to. This is a big mistake. To free yourself from an oppressive sense of guilt, it is worth delving into the process of self-realization. Constantly searching for new opportunities, you will not miss your chance. Respect your desires and try to follow them.
Error correction
If guilty feelings torment you for a very specific reason, consider whether you can try to change something. After all, there are no hopeless situations. It is very useful to look for some ways in order to feel better. Some life mistakes can be corrected. The main thing is that a person has a sincere desire to perform a good deed. In this case, self-awareness, behavior and even some personality characteristics are completely changed. The mistakes of the past cease to dominate us when we release resentment and disappointment. Forgive yourself and find the strength to apologize to someone who was once made to suffer.
The desire to be useful
Guilt disappears where a meaningful decision is made to bring joy to others. When we, on the basis of good intentions, want to remain useful to loved ones, then a special meaning appears in life. Short-term failures no longer unsettle, do not force to doubt everything in the world. A person begins to realize his own destiny, wants to create, reveal creative potential, build trust relationships.
Instead of a conclusion
Thus, the guilt complex is a condition that you must work with. If this is not done, then peace of mind is unlikely to be returned. Harmony with oneself is possible only when a person realizes his own value and strives to perform feasible tasks. It makes no sense to try to please everyone, even if these are your closest relatives. You must always remain yourself, to maintain individuality. Unfortunately, guilt does not allow us to disclose our best personal qualities, to show abilities from the best side. This complex in psychology is described as a condition that directly affects self-esteem and the way people perceive surrounding reality.