Anger is an emotion that currently causes a mixed attitude. Some people think that being angry is good, while others are convinced that it is bad. Nevertheless, we encounter such emotion almost daily, using it to build boundaries and relationships with others.
What is anger?
Anger is the emotion with which we disagree with what is happening, with something that does not meet our plans, hopes or expectations. This internal protest, with the right approach, may be useful for us, as it makes it possible to influence the situation actively. Although it is commonly believed that anger and anger are a pathological reaction of the body. This is not entirely correct, since it all depends on the provocative factor that contributed to this condition.
Is it harmful to get angry?
In moderation, a feeling of anger is the norm. Thus, a person tries to protect himself from any irritants. If you constantly suppress this emotion in yourself, it will not go anywhere and will also provoke actions, but in such a situation they can be destructive both for us and for people around us. Therefore, it is so important to be able to interact with anger, to be aware and accept such a state.
But in the event that this emotion is constantly present in human life, such a phenomenon can no longer be called normal. There is an opinion that excessive anger in people contributes to the accumulation of negativity and can even provoke the development of certain diseases, both psychological and physiological. So, such negative emotions lead to a rapid heartbeat, increased pressure, a feeling of cramping in the gastrointestinal tract, which is accompanied by the release of bile and hydrochloric acid. Therefore, irritable people are often diagnosed with gastritis and gastric ulcer. In addition, anger and hatred interfere with adaptation among people. Since a person is overly quick-tempered, creates conflicts out of the blue, many do not like this and make him avoid communication.
In order to learn to control this emotion, it is necessary to understand why such a condition occurs.
Why are we angry?
The reasons for this emotional reaction are varied and depend on the individual. The main provoking factors that contribute to the emergence of anger are:
- Improper upbringing. The behavior of parents has a huge impact on the child, is an example for him and is reflected in his character and further perception of the world.
- Severe psychological trauma. Cruel and brutal treatment often negatively affects the personality of a person, who in the future can be pissed off and angry at the slightest mistake of others.
- Failures in personal life. Unrequited love, lack of attention, problems with the opposite sex annoy and make you angry.
- Various pathologies. Some diseases, most often malignant, make a person feel angry with others. The patient begins to believe that he is restrained and unhappy, and instead of fighting the disease, he becomes annoyed and pestering loved ones.
- Difficult life situations. Difficulties at work, at home, in relationships with people, going in a row, cause anger and aggression.
- Inferiority complex. People who are dissatisfied with their appearance, achievements, work, often get angry at themselves.
Anything can act as a provoking factor. Very often, women experience this emotion during the period of bearing a child. Extra pounds make you angry, a changed figure, toxicosis, trouble sleeping, anxiety about an upcoming birth, fear of change.
Often even the smallest troubles can provoke a feeling of anger. Sometimes, at the same time, a person loses the ability to curb his emotions, cannot cope with himself, in this case, even a consultation with a psychotherapist may be necessary, especially if such attacks affect relationships with loved ones or even end in bodily harm to anyone.
How to deal with anger?
If the feeling of anger is so strong that it becomes impossible to control it, you need to analyze the situation and, first of all, try to understand what exactly causes such negative emotions, because they are not born in an instant, but are a direct response to people's behavior or situation. We are building certain expectations about certain events and are in anticipation of what we should experience. And when our hopes are deceived, it makes us upset and disappointed. Faced with our own dissatisfaction, we begin to feel a sense of anger.
This is such an emotion that can turn into open aggression and undermine our mental state with subsequent adverse consequences, including for others. To prevent this from happening, you must adhere to some rules:
- learn to recognize and acknowledge your emotions, do not hide them inside yourself;
- understand that it is impossible to completely eradicate anger, it is a normal reaction to various stimuli, and its presence in our lives is natural;
- recognize your true needs - this is the key to prosperity and harmony, as a result, this feeling will become an assistant, and will not annoy.
Anger is a guideline that indicates the presence of internal conflict, factors that do not satisfy us, and also encourages the choice of other options for the development of events.
There are several effective methods that will help you cope with yourself in various situations.
Let the emotions go free
Do not suppress this feeling inside, we do not forbid ourselves to rejoice and laugh. Place your emotions on the pillow, peel it until you feel relief. You can throw out the words of anger on paper by writing an angry letter, putting all the hatred in each line. After that, the letter needs to be burned.
There are other options that can help release negative emotions: find a deserted place or close in the car and scream until the feeling of anger passes.
Anger Dosing Method
So that excessive irritability does not harm personal relationships or work, does not spoil relations with people, you can try to dose anger, expressing part of it right at the scene, and partly dropping in one of the following ways:
- playing sports;
- dancing;
- cleaning the house;
- long walks in the fresh air;
- drawing, embroidery, knitting, etc.
These methods will help transform negative emotions into something useful and not spoil relationships with others.
Milton Erickson Method
There is another interesting way to get rid of anger, the authorship of which belongs to therapist Milton Erickson. To make the subconscious mind give up anger will help a kind of “punishment”, for example, in the form of squats or jumps 30-50 times at the first manifestations of anger. The result is not long in coming, it is important that the punishment is an occupation that a person cannot tolerate.
Step-by-step technique for taming emotions
For some people, a special step-by-step technique helps. First of all, it is necessary by an effort of will to order yourself to stop. You need to understand that such negative emotions do not solve the problem, but only further complicate the situation. With effort, you need to switch to something good, even if it is not easy. In the future, this will become a habit and will help to calm down.
Expectant Tactics and Substitution Techniques
If you feel that you are getting angry, try to imagine the whole situation in a funny way, draw funny moments in your imagination and wait a bit. After a while, negative emotions will subside, and the situation will not seem so critical.
Exercise "Smile of the Buddha"
This method will allow you to regain peace of mind. Try to throw all thoughts out of your head, relax your facial muscles and imagine that they are filled with heaviness and warmth, and that your lips move apart to form a slight smile. In this case, try not to exert muscle effort. After a while, you will feel that a barely noticeable smile has appeared on your lips, and the body begins to fill with a feeling of joy and peace. You need to perform this exercise daily until such a condition becomes the norm for you.
How to get rid of anger on yourself?
If the reason for negative emotions is dissatisfaction with your appearance, then you need to take care of yourself, try to change something, but do not forget that internal work comes first. And this means that we need to learn to accept ourselves and understand that each of us is individual, and self-confidence adds attractiveness in the eyes of others.
This also applies to pregnant women who experience a feeling of anger during this period . How to handle this? Expectant mother needs to come to terms with her situation, to understand that it is natural and beautiful. Of course, changes in the hormonal background often cause emotional breakdowns. To avoid them, you need to relax a lot, do what brings pleasure and improves your mood, not to refuse a full life, because pregnancy is not a pathology.
Envy, resentment and anger
Often a person begins to get angry, envious of others. Do not compare yourself with others. What we have achieved in life is our merit. Instead of suffering that someone has accomplished more than us, it’s better to do self-development.
It is much more difficult to get rid of anger, which is accompanied by a feeling of resentment, that is, a feeling that everyone owes us something. It is important to learn to understand that each of us has the right to do exactly as he wants.
Visit doctor
It happens that a person alone is not able to overcome anger. What to do in this case? It is necessary to seek help from a specialist. Do not be shy about your emotions. This is not a sign of ill health, just life circumstances provoke us to such manifestations. Share your thoughts with the doctor, tell us about your concerns. You may have to undergo treatment with harmless drugs that stabilize your emotional state.
The feeling of anger is most often harmful. But this does not mean that in any situations we must be complaisant and sweet. In some cases, a healthy feeling of anger will only benefit, it is important to observe the measure and take into account the circumstances.