There is always a lot of misunderstanding in the relationship between a man and a woman. At the same time, each of the partners is trying to re-educate each other. And it is women who do it much better. And the whole secret lies in the fact that ladies are more cunning and resourceful, unlike men. And in order to educate a person, it is precisely these qualities that are needed and no open criticism.
Is it necessary
Before you ask yourself how to raise a husband, many women care about another, no less important - is it worth it to do at all. Indeed, in some cases it is too late to change anything in a relationship. The main engine of positive changes in the family is love. After all, if your man has no feelings for you, all attempts at education can be in vain. It’s another matter if the partner really loves you - that means he’s ready for change, but we won’t talk about it. If a man finds out that a plan for re-educating him is ripening in your head, he will start to do the opposite.
But how to raise a husband so that he would not have guessed about it, and at the same time, did you succeed? The advice of psychologists and experienced wives can help in this matter.
The most important rule
Every girl should know that tears, tantrums and screams do not act on a man the way they would like. All this annoys your partner and has nothing to do with upbringing. Love, affection and care are what a man needs. Before you make a plan called “How to Raise a Husband”, first start by analyzing your behavior and identifying negative traits that you need to eradicate. It is impossible:
- criticize the man and his parents;
- point out his shortcomings and laugh at them;
- put it in a tight framework.
And only when you stop doing all of the above, it is worth starting to educate your man. Moreover, if your relationship is in a quarrel, be sure to make peace.
Goal setting
Of course, it is very important to find out for yourself why you decided to re-educate the man. Do not try to make him henpecked. It’s difficult to break a man, but it’s quite possible, but what good will it be for you? Nearby will be a limp creature, unable to make decisions and be responsible for their actions. Is this the ideal of a real man? Everything should be the other way around. A strong and responsible partner should be next to you, and it can be done by a beloved woman. And in fact, a lot depends on her.
Many girls are sure that in order for the marriage to be strong, it is quite tasty to cook, clean and wash. What men grab, they still fail to understand. Therefore, before you ask yourself the question: how to properly raise your husband, think what exactly you want from him. Ask yourself what is wrong with your relationship and what would you like to change.
First step
You surely asked the question: how to raise a husband and, of course, do not know where to start. After you find out what is not suitable for you in the union, you should talk with your loved one. Find out what disturbs your man, why conflicts constantly arise. But do not share your feelings and complaints. Now you are just a listener. At the end of the conversation, tell him openly that you have decided to establish a relationship and you will need his help. Let him think that you have decided to change and re-educate yourself, not him. This will give him strength and confidence.
Be sure to tell your man that he is strong, smart, responsible. Perhaps at first such an attitude of yours will lead to the fact that he will be too proud and may even blame you for not being good enough. But this is only at first. If you continue in this vein, soon the man will truly become strong and responsible.
A man should compliment not just like that, but only after certain of his actions. For example, ask to go to the grocery store. If he buys everything and does not forget anything, be sure to praise him for his excellent memory. You yourself must create a situation where a man will act as a hero, and openly praise him for it. In the future, this behavior will lead to the fact that he himself wants to do something good to get praise from you.
Punishment
This word causes a huge amount of controversy. Some believe that education is impossible without punishment, while others, on the contrary, are of the opinion that this is unnecessary. Of course, if a man is openly rude, rude, smiling and praising him for this should not be. In this case, the punishment will be a rational decision. But for each man, it must be selected individually. For example, a man loves to talk and can not stand loneliness. The silence of the woman he loves is the greatest punishment for him. Do not be rude in response and not scandalous, because such your behavior will only aggravate the situation. After the passions subside, tell the man that his behavior offends you, and you feel very offended.
Sometimes, in the case of punishment for misconduct , reproaches may be appropriate. Tell him something like: "you are my man, you must protect me, but not offend me." Sometimes such words completely change the partner’s worldview.
One unit
If you want to build relationships with your husband, you should remember one more rule. A man and a woman must be one. The exchange of energy between the pair must occur continuously. For example, your husband is doing something good for you. This is a certain portion of the energy that he gives you. And the girl in return should also give him something. If his actions are ignored, over time he will stop doing them. But even in this case, you can change the situation. Ask the man to do something for you. And as soon as this happens, be sure to give him some of the energy. Thank him, and even better if he sees admiration in your eyes. This feeling is lacking for many men.
Self-esteem
If you are wondering how to raise a husband for yourself, then this point is no less important. Many women are confident that a man with low self-esteem will not abandon his wife. This is such a specific way to manipulate him and his feelings. Once again, remind your partner that he is insignificant and will not get anywhere from her - a favorite pastime of many ladies. But are they doing the right thing? Yes, of course, a man will be next to them, broken and unhappy until one moment - until the other appreciates him. And as soon as this happens, he will leave the family. It turns out that this is the wrong tactic. The partner will definitely appreciate if his beloved girl will admire him, support him and consider him a real man. Do not be afraid that he will be proud. Most likely, a man will appreciate your attitude to him.
How long does it take
When a wife brings up her husband, she may also be concerned about this issue. But in fact, there is no definite answer to it. Firstly, the line of behavior that is described above should be followed throughout life. It is impossible to raise an ideal husband in a few days. Especially if before that all the time you criticized and humiliated him. You should also not change your family life dramatically and radically. If one fine day a flurry of compliments and praise rains down on a man, most likely, he will suspect something is amiss and may well begin to behave even worse than before. In addition, a sharp change in a woman’s behavior is often perceived by a man as her desire to make amends.
Act should be gradual. To start one admiration in a few days will be quite enough for the man to understand that his wife appreciates and respects him. Try different ways and methods, because what works on one man may not work on another. Moreover, it is difficult to find only one ideal tactic on how to properly raise a husband. The tips described above can help in this matter only if you act gradually and sincerely.