The ability to discuss, negotiate and argue are valuable qualities that help people achieve success in life. But it is very important that any controversy does not develop into conflict and global quarrel. You must be able to respect the point of view of the interlocutor and take into account his opinion and position. However, not everyone is familiar with the art of negotiating; some simply turn to individuals. What does this technique mean?
Interpretation of the phrase "go personal"
This means that the interlocutor who, using this technique, is trying to win an argument or discussion has no arguments. As a rule, it is used by people who are not able to grasp the essence of the conversation and are not ready to accept someone else's point of view, therefore they include such a kind of protective barrier.
What does it mean “goes to the person”? When a person during a polemic realizes that he is struck by the arguments and facts of the interlocutor, he does not try to recognize the loss. Now the main task before him is to find such weighty arguments that will immediately defeat the enemy. But how to do this if the dispute is already lost? That's right - to humiliate a person, affecting his appearance, personal qualities, character traits, behavior, success in life.
Psychology of conflict
Let's find out what it means to “go over to the individual.” The concept itself means that a person begins to insult, ridicule and criticize his interlocutor. In psychology, there is a technique called ad hominen, which means using arguments that affect the character and motive of the opponent. Often a person uses another method of confrontation in a dispute - ad personam (“transition to personality”). This means that he can afford to insult the interlocutor instead of really weighty and reasoned facts.
This technique has been known since ancient times, when Roman speakers could successfully insult their opponent. But today, such a method shows how weak the morale of the interlocutor is, who closes his eyes to objective truth, succumbing to an ardent desire to emerge victorious from any dispute. As a rule, such a psychological trick works, because no one will discuss with a person who is ready to ridicule the qualities of others in order to remain right.
This technique is:
- Opponent A makes a statement to opponent X.
- Opponent X knows about Opponent A something unworthy, contradictory, shocking, defamatory.
- Opponent X talks about this to opponent A, remaining the winner of the dispute.
- Most often, the opinion of the opponent X is false, unjustified and not supported by any facts.
Ignore, get away from the conflict
A person who turns to a person uses this logical trick often, especially during a heated discussion. The most effective interlocutor can do is to try not to succumb to provocations. In the worst case, it will seem to a person that since his opponent is fighting, making excuses and trying to prove the opposite during a discussion of his qualities, that means he shows weakness and agrees to further insults.
If in a dispute they become personal
How to deal with an interlocutor who prefers to insult rather than look for arguments:
- In no case do not respond. If the discussion cannot be stopped, then continue to make strong, valid arguments. Do not be like the opponent that goes to the individual. A person with such tricks does not deserve trust or respect during a peaceful conversation.
- Be prepared for such a discussion to escalate into a serious conflict. Not every interlocutor is able to endure insults in his address, so he can show aggression. This is because often people do not tell the true facts about the personality of the opponent, but come up with them during a conversation. Sometimes, people around believe the arguments of a person who goes personal, which can undermine the status and reputation of the interlocutor.
- If you know that your opponent allows himself to use this dishonest method, then simply do not enter into an argument with him. Continue to be colleagues or classmates, have small talk, discuss the weather and neutral topics, but never get involved in the discussion. As a rule, such people like to touch sensitive issues that require complete immersion and the expression of their point of view. For example, religion, family values, politics, etc.
- If you have entered into an argument, then keep your distance. The best solution is if during the discussion insults began to appear, passing on to the person, to end the conversation. The interlocutor will be extremely unhappy, he may begin to pursue you for some time, demanding revenge.
How to calculate it
If you rely on the interpretation of what it means "goes to the person", then each such person has special signs. How to recognize an interlocutor who is ready to ridicule and insult an opponent before the discussion:
- Spontaneous transition to personality during the controversy is an exception. As a rule, people use this technique regularly, because they obviously know that they will not be able to win the argument and give weighty arguments.
- A spontaneous transition can only be caused during a confrontation, when the interlocutor specifically provoked his opponent into conflict.
- Such people always try to prove a certain point of view, believing that any other is wrong. They pay attention to how you dress, how you behave and say what choices you make. A person who turns to a person prefers to give advice, even if they are not needed.
- They are extremely restrained, there is no endurance. Any opposition can make them want to offend the enemy, to hurt him, if not physically, so morally.
- Such people behave badly. If they are able to insult or ridicule the behavior or choice of another person outside the dispute, then they will do so during the discussion. Pay attention to how such people behave while in society.
- They are trying to blame the interlocutor for something, and give conflicting arguments. Often a dispute develops into a futile polemic, the subject of which remains unclear or unknown.
Where to meet
Since now many people prefer to spend free time on social networks, hunters can make fun of someone else’s identity in the thread with comments and on forums. There, they give free rein to emotions and, not being afraid that they will be calculated, they prefer to say absolutely everything that they like.
Often sarcasm or insults help to win the argument, but only if the enemy has long been using this rhetorical device. Most people, on the contrary, themselves provoke interlocutors and, not relying on any logical facts, prefer to ridicule or humiliate someone.
Schopenhauer spoke of such a method of conducting discussion as the possibility of crossing out all available arguments and presenting arguments that contradict each other. For example, a girl will write a comment on a photograph: “What a wonderful coat!”, And her interlocutor, who decided to open a conflict but useless discussion, would say: “Tolstoy, like you, can only dream of such a coat!”
In terms of rhetoricians
What does it mean to “get personal”? This discussion method is a logical mistake that is highly undesirable. However, many use the technique to win the argument. As a rule, it is used during pre-election debates, when it is very important to literally trample the opponent’s personality and show his true face. However, to use this technique, reasoned facts, written evidence, evidence and newspaper clippings are selected.
In a normal discussion, the transition to personalities only indicates that the interlocutor is not able to win the argument, but he cannot admit defeat, therefore he will do absolutely everything to morally break and humiliate the opponent. In most cases, the discussion ends there, one feels satisfaction, and the other feels resentment and unwillingness to continue the conversation with a tactless and ill-bred person.
Projecting Your Personal Motives
It’s possible to get personal, not only during the discussion. Most people, without realizing it, begin to evaluate the behavior and personal qualities of a person, relying only on their own perception or opinion. For example, if someone sees a person on the street who has fallen to the ground and cannot stand up, he will not think that he is in a bad state. The first thought that arises at the sight of such people is: “Here is a drunkard, lying around here, scaring children.”
Another striking example of the transition to personality. If a person sees a man on the street with a scarred face, and also sees the absence of some teeth, then he will switch to the other side and think: “Some drug addict or felon, do not approach him.” In fact, this opinion is not supported by anything, only by personal motives. It is likely that such a “frightening” person had an accident and did not have the opportunity to fully recover.
Finally
Now you know what it means "goes to the individual." This is a bad quality that can turn a peaceful discussion into a heated debate. It is important to be able to control yourself and not express your opinion, which offends, humiliates, discriminates or infringes on someone else’s rights.