The departure of parents to work abroad has a negative impact on the emotional status of the child, since this is a serious change that occurs suddenly and lasts for months or even years. As a rule, a baby or teenager does not have the psychological resources necessary for positive adaptation to such a change. He does not know the stages of adaptation. In order to minimize the negative impact of the child on the emotional plan, it would be desirable for the entire educational process to cover the following stages: information, stabilization, adaptation and transition. The first three stages of adaptation are completed before loved ones go abroad.
Feelings of leaving
Informing the child about the departure of mom or dad is the most difficult task, especially because of the emotional load. There is no special moment when a parent can talk with the child about leaving. But the sooner, the better, because the child has time to get used to the message. Children should get real arguments about the motivation of the parent to leave. It is important to inform him that he is not the reason for his departure. This will help in the stages of social adaptation. If this is not clearly indicated, the child may feel guilty about the care of the parents.
At the same time, the father (mother) must prepare the way for the relationship between the baby and the person in whose guardianship he will remain. It would be preferable that the parent could choose this person with the child and foresee that the person has the psychological abilities and moral qualities necessary to care for the child. The child should be informed about the practical aspects of the new context, which explains the location, the clear role of the person in whose care he will be, what will change in his life, the responsibilities of the children, while their parents left to work abroad, what the school rules will be. In turn, people who will take on the role of an educator need to learn more about the kid (food preferences, his best friends, what he is proud of, what kind of household duties he has to be useful at home, his favorite school subjects, etc. ) Last but not least, the parent must inform the future guardian of the importance of the participation of the children in all decisions that directly concern him or her. This information succeeds in reducing the level of unpredictability, which makes it easier to build a positive relationship between the child and the person taking care of him.
Baby fears
The stabilization phase and the stages of adaptation of children require their prior placement with adults who will remain with him. Their common goal is to reduce the excitability and emotional state of the little man so that he feels safe. People who stay with the child should try to reduce the over-excitability of the emotional baby through a variety of methods, and should also ensure that adults continue to establish and maintain the emotional tone of the relationship. The best ways to prevent hyper-excitability is to gradually impact the new environment and adult coherence.
Trust for adults
The gradual exposure is aimed at the development and implementation of trial periods during which the child is placed in a new place. I wish that in the beginning these test periods were held with the participation of parents. During this trial period, adults should be consistent in their relationship with the child, and try to keep their promises towards them. Only in this way can one gain confidence in a favorable outcome. The correlation of truth under any circumstances can be considered a “technique” that reduces the baby’s fear, inviting him to trust adults. Clear rules, a special daily program helps to balance the emotional state and the stages of adaptation, since it ensures the predictability of the environment of children: they know where the limits are and what are the consequences of their violation.
Safe environment
There are a couple of indicators that can show that this step has been completed:
- Children easily talk (with whom they stay) about how difficult their lives are.
- Manage to exhibit social behavior in a new context.
- Consider a new “home” safe environment. They may not feel comfortable, scared, or upset.
In the first two stages of the adaptation process (information and stabilization), the child may experience various emotions: anger, anxiety, sadness, shame, guilt, etc. At these moments, he needs a parent who can show that he understands the feelings of the baby and knows about the strength of the situation. Dad or mother should identify the experiences of the child, call them and discuss together, show that this is all very important for them.
Planning and ways
After substantiating the sense of security in a new relationship, the child can distinguish and recognize their nature and various roles, move from the position of a dependent person to the position of an autonomous person who is able to maintain relationships of interdependence. This is the stage of adaptation. The mission of adults at this stage is to help their child develop their social skills, positive self-esteem, form new relationships with people around him, test their own power of control and trust, acquiring protective skills in the future. A great way to achieve these goals is to develop independent life skills: the ability to manage a budget, act in various situations, talk about security, the ability to determine and use community resources, plan time, etc.
Mental set of feelings
If the baby has a sense of security in its environment, and if autonomy has developed, the transitional phase can be positive. However, studies have shown that any transition evokes a sense of loss and oblivion. To minimize the impact of these feelings, any action associated with the transition should be predictable (the child knows for sure the day when he will stay with the caregiver, and he should be expected with a positive mental set of feelings).
Confidence in the negative emotional impact of the child, when the parent goes to work abroad, forces the adult to develop and implement a plan for receiving and adapting the baby to the new context in which he will live, thereby trying to prevent serious mental health problems (depression, anxiety, etc. .d.).
Steps and steps
To find out if these steps are real, we must first determine what the model is, so that the utility is not too wide and applies to most people. A description like “everyone experiences suffering in their own way, some go through stages, others do not, some go through several stages, others go through others” does not help much. Such a description cannot be falsified, since everything that happens corresponds to the description and does not tell us anything new. Thus, in this article, we consider the following description: in most people, overcoming serious suffering is carried out through five stages. This is similar to the stages of professional adaptation.
The problem with the five stages is that they were not developed empirically, that is, experiments were not conducted. They were proposed by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross as a result of her experience with terminally ill patients. If psychology is seen as a science, it must be based on evidence.
Different models
The five-step model has not been scientifically studied; it is the oldest verification exam we have found since 1980. After analyzing all the variables, the authors came to the conclusion that the stress associated with the departure of the parents persists for many years if you do not work psychologically with the child. More recently, a study was conducted that concluded what steps exist, and they were called the first empirical confirmation of the model. This is likely to be the only confirmation of all these ways of working with children and the stages of adaptation of the employee, therefore, it deserves special attention. Analyzed a lot of people and their children. The duration of the analysis was two years. The results showed that each of the five stages has a point at which it is on average at maximum, and then decreases, with the exception of decision-making. This point continuously increases over time. There is a difference between deferral and adoption for a child. The child must accept the loss, not just alleviate it. This man is no more. He should not only suffer less, but also recognize that it is not his fault that everything is going on right, that life goes on. A follow-up was also carried out for the concept of the stages of personnel adaptation. This is often the most difficult, but the wisest stage. The parent leaves, and do nothing to bring him back. All that is needed is to move on. These methods are also suitable for such a concept as the stages of adaptation in an organization.
Concept of pain
Pain is a complex and often difficult to understand emotion. And yet, each of us has tested it at least once. And this is because we all inevitably lose someone dear, pain is what we feel from loss. This feeling is the cause of the death of his dear, dear, or other causes. If for various reasons we remain at one of the stages of pain, the process does not end, and therefore we cannot cure it. Everyone who suffers from a loss must go through all the steps in order to truly understand the suffering he has experienced and be healed. Obviously, each person has a different rhythm of going through the stages, and no one is forced to do this when he does not feel fit.