In everyday life between people, due to the difference in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to the excessive emotionality of a person and the lack of self-control. How to learn to restrain emotions? How to "get the better" of your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? The answers to these questions are given by psychology.
What is self-control for?
Restraint and self-control are what many people lack. This comes with time, constantly training and improving skills. Self-control helps to achieve a lot, and the smallest of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions, and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? Understand that it is necessary and find agreement with your own "I".
Control over emotions does not allow the aggravation of a conflict situation, allows you to find a common language with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary to establish relationships with people, no matter business partners or relatives, children, lovers.
The impact of negative emotions on life
Disruptions and scandals in which negative energy is released adversely affect not only the people around you, but also the instigator of the conflict situations. How to learn to restrain your negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.
Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, interfere with the normal development of the personality and career growth. After all, few people want to collaborate / communicate / live with a person who does not own himself and, at every opportunity, starts a large-scale scandal. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then he will soon leave her.
In parenting, it is also important to restrain oneself and not give vent to negative emotions. The child will feel every word said by the parent in the heat of anger, and subsequently will remember this moment for life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestations in communication with children and loved ones.
Negative emotions also have a big impact on business and work. A team always consists of people of different temperaments, therefore, self-control plays an important role here: negativity can splash out at any time when a person is pressured, they demand to perform excessive work. And instead of the usual dialogue, where the parties can come to a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to restrain emotions in the workplace? Do not respond to the provocations of employees, try to start a relaxed conversation, agree with the bosses in everything, even if the tasks assigned are difficult.
Emotion suppression
Constantly restraining oneself within a certain framework and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. By suppressing emotions, a person accumulates a negative in himself, and therefore, the risk of developing psychological diseases increases. Negativity must be periodically “splashed out” somewhere, but so that the feelings of other people are not affected. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to the inner world? Go in for sports, because during training a person spends all his internal resources, and the negative goes away quickly.
For the release of negative energy is suitable for wrestling, boxing, hand-to-hand combat. It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relieved and he will not want to break into anyone. However, it should be borne in mind that everything should be in moderation, and overwork in training can provoke a new influx of negative.
Two ways to restrain emotions:
- You do not like a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do it, but, of course, not in the literal sense of the word. At that moment when it became uncomfortable for you to communicate with him, mentally do whatever you want with this person.
- Draw a person you hate and write down on a piece of paper next to the image of the problems that appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the sheet and mentally put an end to yourself in a relationship with this person.
Prevention
How to learn to restrain emotions? Psychology gives such an answer to this question: prevention is necessary to control your feelings and emotions, in other words, emotional hygiene. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. For this, it is necessary to protect yourself from communication with people who cause hostility, and also, if possible, to avoid conflicts.
Prevention is the most gentle and optimal way to control emotions. It does not require additional human training and specialist intervention. Preventive measures allow for a long time to protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns.
How to learn to restrain your emotions. Psychologist's advice
The main thing that helps to gain the upper hand over your emotions is total control over your own life. When a person is happy with everything in his house, work, relationship, and he understands that at any moment he can influence it and adjust it for himself, it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation of negative emotions. There are a number of preventative rules that help manage your own feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and manage yourself? Follow the simple rules.
Unfinished business and debts
In a short time, carry out all the planned tasks, do not leave the work unfinished - this can cause a delay in the deadlines, provoking negative emotions. You can also reproach “tails” and indicate your incompetence.
In financial terms, try to avoid delays in payments and debts - this is exhausting, and prevents you from reaching your goal. Understanding that you did not repay someone is a cause of negativity, helplessness in the face of the circumstances.
The absence of debts, both financial and other plan, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and forces, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the other hand, is an obstacle to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Timely eliminate debts.
Comfort
Create a comfortable workplace for yourself, equip your home to your liking. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should be comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.
Time planning
Try to correctly plan for the day, strive to ensure that you have both time and resources to accomplish your tasks have a little more than you need. This will avoid the negative associated with a constant lack of time and worries about a lack of finances, energy and energy for work.
Communication and workflow
Avoid contact with unpleasant people who are wasting your personal time. In particular, with individuals who are called "energy vampires" - they take away not only time, but also your strength. If possible, try not to intersect with overly temperamental people, since any incorrect remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to restrain your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, do not react too sharply to criticism.
If your work brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing the place of activity. Making money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and upset of mental balance.
Border marking
Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause you negative emotions. Draw an invisible line, a line that cannot be crossed by anyone, even the closest person. Make a code of practice restricting people from talking to you. Those who really love, appreciate and respect you will accept such requirements, and those who oppose attitudes should not be in your environment. To communicate with outsiders, develop a special system that will avoid violating your borders and the formation of conflict situations.
Physical activity and introspection
Exercising will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Spend 30 minutes to 1 hour a day for sports, and your body will quickly deal with negative emotions.
Maintain an internal dialogue, while analyzing everything that happens to you throughout the day. Ask yourself questions about whether they did the right thing in a given situation, whether they communicated with those people, whether there was enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand oneself, but also to eradicate communication with unnecessary people that cause negative in the future. Carrying out an "inventory" of your own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.
Positive emotions and prioritization
Develop the ability to switch from negative emotions to positive ones; try to see positive aspects in any situation. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with family and strangers? Be more positive, and this will help you defeat your own temper.
The right goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of a surge of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and pay attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. You should choose only real, achievable goals.
Environment
Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit from communicating with them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness? Do they please you? If not, then the answer is obvious, you urgently need to change the circle of communication, switch to individuals with positive emotions. Of course, in the workplace, this is unrealistic, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the workspace.
In addition to changing the environment, the development of self-control will help expand the circle of communication. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.