Life is not an easy thing. Someone even in adulthood manages to maintain children's naivety throughout life, and there is another type that treats every person with a degree of skepticism, not completely trusting even the closest ones. Such a person takes care of his inner world and personal space like the apple of his eye. In most cases, this is necessary, because the world around us is cruel and indifferent, and not everyone is set up for positiveness and friendliness. Therefore, the rule “trust, but verify” has not been canceled. It is one thing - the usual distrust of others, another thing - when you arrange checks, make doubts of the most sincere promises, making the family and friends hurt. How to learn to trust people again?
What to do?
Each person deserves unintentional love, strong friendship, sincere attention. As a result, because of problems with trust, it is difficult for us to build relationships with people. There is only one way out of this situation - you have to learn to believe and trust. But only with the mind, from the position of a harmonious personality, and not thoughtlessly, childishly. It is worth accepting that each has its own shortcomings, because of which its environment has to suffer.
Probably, any adult on his life's journey came across betrayal, deception, disappointment in dear people. Such experiences leave a serious imprint on the psychological background of the person, and trusting someone again can be very difficult. Only now, if you decide to never trust others again, so as not to get burned, then you doom yourself to loneliness. Despite serious betrayal, you can always learn to believe and trust people again in order to build strong and sincere relationships. What needs to be done for this?
Look for a reason
How to learn to trust your loved one? Any research, any problem requires at the first stage of its solution only one thing - to find the source. Your task is to understand yourself, your fears, answer the question, why you can not or do not want to trust the people around you? Determine which category of people you most have confidence issues with. Maybe it's just men or women, or maybe a completely different category.
Most often, people are closed from the outside world and communication after painful experiences or because of their difficult nature. Gather strength, patience and recall those events that caused such behavior. After analyzing the situation, you will understand that only one specific person gives you negative emotions, and not all your friends or relatives. You must realize that waiting for the trick from everyone is at least stupid.
Study
To trust a person, you need to clearly understand who is standing in front of you. Most of all this relates to problems in a love relationship. Everyone wants strong, sincere and mutual love, but 100% perfect relationships only in fairy tales. On our way of life we meet completely different people, and each of them has its own advantages and disadvantages, habits and principles. If you are starting a new relationship or trying to restore an old one, think not about yourself in the first place, but about the person who is nearby. Analyze his character traits, behavior, and so on. All this is necessary in order not to build empty hopes and castles in the air. Waiting for what doesn't happen is painful and stupid. This concerns not only the relationship of love, the same strategy must be maintained in business, when searching for new partners.
Remember only the good
How can you learn to trust a person? Of course, usually one bad act obscures the mind, and we seem to forget that the good happens in life too. And for some reason, more often, negative experience rather than positive influences decision-making. It is time to change the direction of thoughts. Think about how many good acquaintances, interesting conversations and pleasant meetings you had in your life. Surely there are more than bad ones. Positive memories will help you tune in to the right wave and now, perhaps, you will not think that everyone you meet is a villain and a traitor. Rule one - stop taking on the role of the victim.
Do not hang up shortcuts
The fact that all people are completely different is a fact. Everyone has the same difficult life situations as you. We all sometimes become hostages of a bad mood. Perhaps, after all, not every second guy is a goat, every oncoming girl is a bitch, and the boss is a heartless tyrant. After all, someone can put exactly the same label on you.
Want to learn to trust again? Then, finally, forget about stereotypes, cutting off the whole initiative. Let the new acquaintance prove himself, it is likely that he will turn out to be a very pleasant person. We are all people with our complexes, with our cockroaches in our heads and bad moods, so maybe it’s worth giving a chance?
Nobody canceled self-control
Suppose you are faced with betrayal and deception by a loved one and are not going to make such an experience in the future. How does a person begin to act in such a situation? We begin to be careful, to divide everyone into good and bad. Thus, we feed the negative that accumulates inside. As a result, a person becomes callous and soulless, absolutely not ready to show his emotions. You can try to solve this problem as follows. When a harmful inner voice whispers to you that you are probably being deceived again, they want to betray and hurt you, stop for a second and think: who is controlling your consciousness now - you or past insults? You must make the decision, with all your rationality, not your emotions.
Everyone has a right to make a mistake.
And you are no exception. Only the acceptance and awareness of these words will help to survive deception and betrayal, free the mind from pain and fear of a new relationship. Indeed, most often disappointment in people stems from the fact that they simply do not live up to our high expectations. Remember yourself, those times when you made mistakes, because someone forgave you, gave you a chance? To build new relationships, whether they are friendly or amorous, you can only, if it is easier to treat people, not to wait for what they simply are not capable of.
Learn to forgive
How to learn to trust people after betrayal? On offended carry water, remember this? Do not keep the negativity in yourself, the power of forgiveness will primarily benefit you, not the offender. You will get rid of the trash in your head, from the bitterness of resentment and will be able to build new, healthy relationships. People who harbor a grudge can only be pitied, because they perceive everything around through their own pain, forget what joy is in life.
It is difficult to build trusting relationships with people if negative things lurk in the soul. Get out of your head thoughts in the style: "forgive - this does not mean forgetting." So, and how! True forgiveness comes only when a person completely releases the situation and begins to live as if everything was always good and there is no more pain. Sometimes we think that what was done to us is not forgiven. Yes, it is difficult, but possible. After all, resentment is not the result of someone’s actions, it’s a person’s reaction to these actions. It turns out that you can get rid of resentment only on your own, nothing from the outside world will make us feel pain, only ourselves. The same goes for help, no one will fix the situation for you, you need to do it yourself.
Develop empathy
How to learn to trust people? no matter how strange it may sound, but only the ability to empathize with others will help build healthy relationships. Do not get hung up on yourself and your problems, be sensitive to those who are near you. This usually helps to understand even those who act unworthily. With the help of empathy, you can perceive negativity without pain. Such a skill will also help to begin to better understand people, analyze their behavior and see through and through.
Do not trust anyone who expresses a desire
How to learn to trust people? The advice of a psychologist suggests that life experience has already taught us that perfect mistakes, suffering and disappointments in people kill confidence inside. But often we ourselves are the culprits of this state of affairs, bringing closer to ourselves those who are not worthy of it. You can obey emotions and trust a person in this impulse, but this also means that really close relationships have arisen between you. Surround yourself only with people to whom you can truly open your soul. Develop empathy and listen to yourself and your mind.
Each person on the way meets completely different characters, but not everyone should become a best friend. Learning to trust again after betrayal is often very difficult, here only time and faith in one's own strength come to the rescue. But remember that each new step towards people will bring you closer to building strong and harmonious relationships.