"What if the son drinks?" - many mothers complain, in the eyes of which a smart adult man turns into an alcoholic. This bad habit comes to one of the family members and affects all households. Nobody likes to see a person in the house who is constantly in an inadequate state. This is especially painful for a mother who gave birth and raised a son with the hope of help and care on his part, and she only received grief and disappointment.
To find a way out of this situation, you need to understand the reasons for this behavior and listen to the advice of experienced professionals.
When the son turned into an alcoholic
Relatives and acquaintances often have to hear the desperate requests of their mother: “The son drinks what to do? Help!" You can sympathize with her, because the native blood, which had great hopes, deliberately ruins her life and health. He ceases to be interested in familiar things, does not go to school or work, does nothing at home. He reacts aggressively to remarks and reproaches or simply leaves the conversation. Since a person needs to constantly drink alcohol, he needs material resources. And he finds a way out, taking away valuable things from the house, or plunges into unthinkable debts, which then have to be paid in the same way.
The height of alcoholism occurs when the son drinks and does not work. Not only the mother, but also everyone who lives next to this person does not know what to do with this disaster. There are no specific prescribed actions that will guide the drinking son. This may depend on his nature or circumstances that will affect his future behavior. But there is one factor that unites all people addicted to addiction - a change in attitude to alcoholic beverages. In the future, this addiction will turn into a heavy addiction or stop at a stage that can be successfully cured.
Source of all problems
To understand what to do if a son drinks, you need to figure out how it all began. Since any holiday is accompanied by the presence of alcohol, the young man also tries not to stand out. He tastes alcohol, but he does it with caution, noticing significant changes in his feelings. They are:
- fun;
- ease;
- sociability (a person quickly finds a common language with others);
- good mood;
- lack of shyness and shyness;
- aggravation of feelings and desires.
Under the influence of strong drinks, all problems seem small and insignificant. After exposure to alcohol, a person remains in a comfortable state for himself and wants to repeat it again, since the level of pleasant sensations decreases slightly. So there is a gradual increase in the dose, which subsequently becomes huge.
The concept of withdrawal syndrome
At the stage of getting used to the constant use of alcohol, withdrawal syndrome (withdrawal syndrome) occurs, when a person feels badly without alcohol and wants to drink in order to improve his condition. Sometimes after excessive consumption, a guy has a desire to get a hangover (this is a natural reaction of the body to the action of ethanol), sometimes he refuses to take alcohol again. But after a while he drinks again to return to his favorite state. The mother has a question what to do with her drinking son, if there are no strong binges and excessive intoxication, but there is a constant consumption of alcohol. The young man is increasingly applied to the bottle with and without it. He can afford to have a drink after a hard day's work and on weekends. A state of absolute sobriety becomes a rare occurrence, and constant intoxication enters into the usual way of life. So a person goes into the stage of alcoholism (it can last for years, but still lead to a sad result).
The causes of alcoholism
The son drinks - what to do to the mother, who does not find a place for herself, trying to save her blood from the addiction? To do this, you need to understand the causes of a bad habit. This is of great importance, since there is a chance to correct the psychological state of a person and return him to normal life. The main reasons include the following aspects:
- improper upbringing (excessive severity or excessive custody);
- surrounded by his son there are people who drink, and he simply supports the company;
- problems at work or lack thereof;
- unsettled personal life, loneliness;
- family problems;
- lack of goals in life;
- material difficulties;
- problems with relatives;
- housing problems;
- protracted melancholy or depression;
- consequences of a stressful situation.
Signs of Alcoholism
Sometimes the onset of alcoholism is very difficult to consider, especially if the son does not live next to his mother. He can allow himself to “relax”, being alone or in company with friends, and relatives will not know how often this happens. The mother should understand what to do with the drinking son, if the following symptoms are present in his behavior:
- unwillingness to communicate, less desire to catch the eye of the mother;
- increased irritability and emotionality;
- decreased memory and mental abilities;
- a complete and inexplicable lack of logic in his actions;
- late return home or absence at night (in the case of a young man);
- frequent sudden fever, nausea, malaise.
Advice from mother psychologists at the initial stage of offspring alcoholism
It is very important to notice the moment when the son began to drink. What to do in this case, experienced experts will tell. They believe that at this stage, prevention and quick response will necessarily give positive results. The main thing is to stop the development of alcoholism. To do this, proceed as follows:
- try to establish a trusting relationship with your son and try to find out the reason that prompted him to take alcohol;
- it is necessary to exclude moralizing, you must try to talk calmly, with all your strength to make it clear that you can count on;
- it is recommended that you express your dissatisfaction, but do it loyally and tactfully, without raising the tone;
- if you don’t know what to do if your son drinks, you should try to offer him an alternative to drinking in the form of new activities or hobbies, to awaken in him the desire for new goals;
- if this is a teenager, monitor his communication (meet or ask a guy to tell about his friends);
- in a complete family, it is recommended that the father play the main role, which should involve his son in general activities and more often talk with him about men's topics;
- mother needs to do everything so that her son tries to help her. Moreover, the initiative should come from the guy.
Psychologists' recommendations on how to behave a mother with an alcoholic son
There are often situations when, for whatever reason, the initial stage is missed, which could prevent alcoholism. Everything became clear when it turned out that the son was drinking. What do mothers do? The advice of experienced professionals will help you figure out if everything can be fixed on your own. To do this, do the following steps:
- Realize the reality. Mom must understand and realize what is really happening. Do not expect that by closing your eyes to the situation, you can fix it. Perhaps others have long noticed your problem, and you all pretend that nothing is happening. It is necessary to accept reality and act as an adult who gave life to his child.
- Call the offspring accountable. "The son drinks a lot, what should I do?" - Mom pronounces these words only in her thoughts, but in fact tries to indirectly support him in this behavior. We are talking about cases where parents justify the actions of the offspring in front of others, hide the truth and lie on his behalf. It is necessary to provide an opportunity for the son to be responsible for his behavior and actions.
- Set boundaries. It is necessary to clearly define your boundaries of behavior and stop supporting your son’s image in front of others. Speak to him that you no longer intend to lie and cover up his indecent behavior. The guy will surely oppose this and begin to pose his ultimatums, trying in every possible way to manipulate you. You do not need to let him do this, but clearly stand on your principles. Otherwise, you will turn into a co-dependent person, and you two will need help already.
- Ask for help from others. If this is an incomplete family and the son drinks, what should mother do? The advice of a psychologist will help to understand this situation. Do not forget that there are many good people around who are ready to help. No need to hide the problem, you need to find teachers, mentors, bosses, friends or other people who are respected by the offspring. Turning to them for help and acting together, you can defeat this addiction much faster and easier.
- Guided by actions. Do not believe the words of a dependent person, because his psyche has already undergone changes. He can convince you that he will do the right thing, and at this time he will believe his promises. But the craving for alcohol becomes insurmountable when it comes to drinking or quitting. Therefore, you never need to believe, in fact, a sick person whose consciousness is clouded. It is necessary to be guided exclusively by his actions.
- Caring for yourself. The son drinks, but what should the mother do? Psychologists advice number one - take care of yourself. This has nothing to do with egoism and egocentrism, excessive pride and indifference to your own child. It is about loving yourself as a person who has the right to be happy. It is necessary to know your own worth, not to allow yourself to be manipulated, not to allow blackmail in your address. Only a strong person can help another, especially since this applies to the mother and her child. Otherwise, two will need this help.
Mother forbidden activities
The question of what to do if the son drinks, we have already discussed. Experienced psychologists recommend paying attention to what is, on the contrary, prohibited. This information will be very useful for all parents who care about the health of their children and really want to rid them of this bad bad habit. The following actions must be performed:
- not to take the problems of the drinker upon himself, to enable him to be responsible for his actions;
- do not give empty promises, be sure to adhere to your word;
- not to demonstrate a loyal attitude to alcohol, it should be categorically negative;
- not to engage in empty conversations with an alcoholic, each conversation should have a logical conclusion;
- do not drink alcohol in the presence of an alcoholic;
- not to hide objective information about his illness from the drinker;
- no need to try to patronize a dependent person, solving all problems for him and destroying the consequences of his inappropriate behavior;
- Do not categorically blame your son and voice your claims and reproaches;
- no need to blame yourself, you should focus on solving the problem;
- do not hope that you can control the behavior of an alcoholic.
Stages of addiction treatment
The answer to the question: "What to do with the drinking son?" - there will be a call for patience and painstaking work on the normalization of his condition. There are three stages of treatment, each of which in no case can be ignored. These are the following components:
- Detoxification. This is the drug elimination of toxins from the body through injections and droppers. The duration of the procedure is from three to five days.
- Rehabilitation. This is a direct treatment of the patient with one of the following methods. Lasts up to three months.
- Postrehabilitation support. This is a visit to special groups and psychological assistance from relatives and close people to help the alcoholic consolidate the positive result of treatment.
Alcoholism Treatment Methods
If a son drinks every day, what should his relatives do in this case? Experienced specialists offer the following medication and psychotherapeutic procedures:
- Psychotherapeutic procedures. They give a short effect (about a year) and consist in laying a negative attitude on the use of alcohol.
- Hypnosis. As a result of this method, a conditional reflex to block craving for alcohol is laid at a subconscious level in a person.
- Coding. This method is based on instilling a person with disgust for alcohol and fear of the consequences of violating the ban. The coding effect lasts a maximum of three years.
- Drug treatment. If the son drinks, with advice what to do, there will be treatment with the help of medicines. This method is based on blocking a person’s craving for alcohol and feeling unwell after taking it.
- Injection This is a medical treatment in which a certain dose of medication is administered to the patient intravenously or intramuscularly. The drugs are absolutely harmless to the body until they begin to interact with alcohol. The result may be a rapid heartbeat or even respiratory arrest.
- Implantation. This method involves suturing special capsules under the skin. As a result of interaction with alcohol, medications cause unpleasant symptoms: choking, nausea, vomiting, hot flashes.
- Combined procedures. The most reliable way that allows you to create a double encoding (for example, hypnosis and drug treatment). The method is very effective, but not ideal, because it also can not give a lifetime guarantee.
If, after listening to all the recommendations, you could not rectify the situation, you cannot do without qualified help from specialists. Even if the son is against treatment, every effort must be made to place him in a hospital. There are no hopeless situations, and you will surely succeed.