The strategy for the return of the beloved is a science. No one will be able to unequivocally answer the question: "How to return the guy you left?" However, what to do in this case? How to return the feelings of a guy? Fortunately, there are certain foundations that should be enough to start a struggle for oneās own happiness.
What to do at the very beginning of a breakup?
First you need to understand whether the guy left the girl, or the girl herself decided to break off the relationship. It seems that the situations are similar. But this is fundamentally wrong. Methods of āreturnā will be different. If a girl feels depressed, unhappy without her lover, then this undoubtedly causes condolences. But there is a man in the world who should not spare himself! Has no rights to it! And this is the girl herself in this situation. This is the main installation, which leads to a solution to the problem of how to return the guy you left.
What is a breakup?
Naturally, this is a complex, painful and difficult experience. At this moment, the girl is thinking about lying face down in the pillow and crying. And then comes the understanding that the guy is really needed and questions like āCan I get the guy back?ā Begin. The main thing in this state is not to start taking any actions immediately, under the influence of emotions. In this case, cake or ice cream can really help - distract from the problem for a moment.
As a rule, you need to listen to intuition. Instincts will not deceive and unequivocally prompt the right decision. However, in the event of a breakup, everything is different. What to do to get a guy back? You will have to act in a completely different way than your heart tells you. First things first, put your emotions aside, try to control them. Understanding your desires and goals will certainly lead to the desired result.
Basic rules and behaviors to renew relationships with the former
There are four basic rules, or, if you want, models of behavior that you must follow in order to positively answer the question: āCan I get a guy back?ā
It is important to remember that all the breakups are individual and can be fundamentally different from the rest, especially if the girl herself left the guy. However, it is necessary to remember these basic rules, since they are, in fact, universal. They will help to understand what to do when the girl thinks: "I left the guy ... I want to return him."
Rule number one: be patient and strong
No matter how grief, whatever pain you feel, remember: no one will return to a miserable and unhappy girl. So how do you get the guy you left behind? Swearing, pleas, tears, requests, insults, attempts to āleave the last word for yourselfā or āletters of revengeā will cause the guy to be rejected. At best, they will cause pity and compassion. But not the desire to return. Remember: a guy will never come back out of pity.
A lot of girls tried to use this obviously losing tactic. On the other hand, just say: "I am strong." Harder to do. But here there is a certain technique that will help in this matter:
- You need to imagine the future with a guy, that is, think about how you will feel good together. Imagine as bright as possible the joy of spending time together, feel his touch, hear a voice. Visualize your intention. Make your dreams as real as possible. Desire is not a simple fantasy, but something that may well come true. Look for stories of breakups and renewals. You will see that even after the most terrible, seemingly hopeless situations, people found the strength to be together again, to build relationships anew.
- Do not forget about the biology of relationships, that is, the chemistry of love. Nature is never wrong. If two people were attracted to each other, then this clearly indicates the emergence of communication, attraction at the biological (physical) level. The most important thing to remember here is that this feeling does not go anywhere after parting. It can stay for years.
- It is necessary to remember about the psychology of relationships. However, it stems entirely from an understanding of biology. It must be remembered that even after parting, the guy is somehow biologically attached to the girl. The basis of psychology should be installation on one's own strength and patience.
Rule number two: you need to limit your contacts
This is the main area where you need to be demanding of yourself, even strict. Especially in a situation where a girl asks the question: "How to return the guy you left?" You canāt contact with your ex-boyfriend. You canāt even try to bother him. Naturally, the phrase will follow: "But this will only alienate us." Of course. But it is necessary.
Instinctively, any girl immediately after the thought "I want him back" will call her boyfriend to make contact, but this is absolutely wrong! You can neither call, nor write, or even catch his eye. In this situation, we can say that "time works for us."
You need to understand the psychology of the guy in this situation, especially if the girl abandoned him. The guy will regard any manifestation of attention, the desire to find contact with him from the side of the former half, as annoying, annoying actions that he will perceive with reluctance, as if the girl was āpursuing himā. Do not think that a ācouple of callsā will not be worse. It will be more like that. Already with this ācouple of callsā you can spoil the whole strategy of returning the guy completely.
It is important to remember the following moment: since the girl constantly confirms that she thinks about the guy by trying to get in touch, he will not miss her, because the lady constantly reminds herself of herself. What to do to get a guy back? Do not call or write! To start.
If itās difficult to fight yourself, the desire to call is overwhelming, try to focus on your main goals: return the ex-boyfriend. Do exercises to visualize your goal. Maintain high motivation and keep focus. It is motivation that will help answer the question: "I broke up with a guy - how to return?".
Rule number three: interest yourself
This is a rather strange tactic when it comes to the question: āHow to return the guy you left?ā However, this is a universal effective method. Switching attention to a new activity or hobby will take the time and energy that girls usually spend on thoughts about a former young man. In addition, in this case, the feeling of fullness of life, self-control, receiving positive new emotions and experiences will return to the girl.
All these factors are very valuable to achieve your goal. Interest in some exciting business and success in it will give self-confidence. Moreover, the former young man will notice this, understand that you have already ābeen illā from breaking up with him or are not suffering too much. Perhaps this is the main point in what to do to get the guy back. This behavior affects the stronger sex instantly.
Rule number four: gradually begin to remind yourself
Say that this rule conflicts with the previous ones? No way. It goes after them. He needs to see you. So that he seeks a meeting with you. It is necessary, as if by chance, to see him more often. Common friends, interests, company, holidays, celebrations, events. The point is that the ex-boyfriend began to see the girl more often. However, it is important to keep a distance and not to overdo it.
What to do if all the rules are already violated?
For starters - you canāt despair. For any girl, itās natural to do what you donāt need to do after breaking up. Perhaps, in this case, it will just take a little more effort and time in order to correct your mistakes. The main thing is to remember that there is always a chance. How to return the guy's love? You need to follow the tips above.
Do not rush things
No need to make the return of the guy a goal that should be completed in the coming days. Or even a week. How to get the guy you left behind? This is a lengthy process that requires patience and endurance. By and large, it can take months. Gradually, gradually increase speed. Abrupt action can only make it worse.
Do not forget about continuous self-improvement. It is necessary to look inimitable and irresistible. Need to impress. If he notices that his ex-girlfriend became interesting to many guys at once, then a new strong instrument will play in the girlās hand - male jealousy.
As mentioned above, you just do not have to panic. Pull yourself together. Relax for a while, turn your attention, clear your mind. Then make a plan and act. Maybe during the rest the girl will understand that in fact she did not need a guy. Such situations also happen. It is necessary to find time in order to understand yourself. To analyze the relationship, remember and conduct a deep analysis of all rubbish, conflicts. Can I get the guy back? If everything is done wisely, then the chances are huge.