Expecting a replenishment in the family, women imagine only the pleasant aspects of motherhood: quiet walks with a stroller, a cute newborn agook, the baby's first timid steps. But in practice, it is not so simple. That is why, for the first time faced with children's hysteria, parents have no idea how to calm the child.
Why are children crying?
Situations that can cause children's tears can be listed endlessly. And this is quite normal. If for adults a broken toy is a mere trifle, then for a child this can turn out to be a whole tragedy.
As a rule, parents eventually begin to distinguish between their child’s real tears and intentional manipulation attempts. However, it can be difficult for some young mothers and fathers to figure out the cause of childhood hysteria. If we consider the most common cases, then children can cry:
- Due to physical ailment (fever, colic, etc.).
- Hunger.
- Feelings of fear.
- Overwork.
- Fatigue.
- Lack of sleep.
When it comes to children 2-3 years old, the main reason for their crying is the denial or prohibition of something. Simply put, hysteria in such cases is used as a quick and effective way to manipulate adults. Moreover, it operates almost flawlessly. Because when the baby screams and falls to the floor, the parents do not know how to calm the child, and simply give him what he wants.
How to understand the cause of crying?
Crying is the only way to communicate with parents before the child learns to express their needs and feelings. This usually occurs by 4-5 years. But how to understand how to calm a child if the reason for his tantrum is not clear?
To accurately determine it, you need to carefully look at the child. Since different stimuli cause different reactions in children:
- Hunger. A long loud cry that does not stop for a long time may indicate that the child is hungry. At the same time, the newborn will instinctively open its mouth in search of the mother's breast, and older children will spin around the table or refrigerator. Therefore, in this case, the answer to the question of how to calm a crying child is simple: feed.
- Physical malaise. In the cry of a child who is bothered by something, mournful notes are always heard. If the cause of discomfort is constant and prolonged, such as colic, the baby’s cry will be monotonous. He can calm down for a while, replaced by soft moans. If the pain is sharp, for example, when falling, the crying of the child will occur sharply and suddenly. However, after a mother's embrace, he will quickly cease.
- Fright. If a child is frightened or has a terrible dream, he will react with a sharp and hysterical cry. It will arise as suddenly as it ceases. The main thing is to wrap him in a hug, creating a sense of security.
- Other inconvenience. When the baby does not like something or interferes, he will not go into hysteria. A scream is more like a call, and with an instant reaction of the parents, it will immediately stop. However, ignoring the baby, he will not calm down until the cause of his discomfort disappears.
Crying because of hunger
If we talk about how to calm a crying child who is hungry, then the solution is obvious - to feed him. And here two further scenarios are possible:
- The child will calm down and possibly fall asleep.
- He will start to scream even more.
When all the signs indicate that the baby wants to eat, but at the same time he refuses food, you need to look for factors that affect nutrition problems.
Reasons for a child to refuse food
Even when the baby eats on demand, a feeding schedule is randomly developed for him. Therefore, the mother usually knows what time to feed the baby. If the newborn began to avoid eating food or eats much less than usual, the following reasons may contribute to this:
- Thrush or stomatitis.
- Shortness of breath through the sinuses.
- Acute otitis media.
- Teething.
- Sore throat, etc.
In order not to guess, you need to contact the local pediatrician. Problems with the nutrition of children under 1 year of age - this is a good reason to contact a specialist.
Colic is the No. 1 cause of crying in children aged 0 to 3 months
Rare lucky among young parents did not encounter infant colic and do not know how to calm a child in such a situation. Colic is not a disease, but a behavioral syndrome, which is characterized by long-term intermittent crying. The nature of their occurrence is still poorly understood. However, there is an assumption that they are associated with the immaturity of the children's digestive system.
Symptoms
- Loud continuous crying, which, as a rule, is repeated daily, at the same time.
- Redness of the face.
- Hard abdomen on palpation (pressing).
- Pulling the legs to the stomach.
Eliminate colic does not work, they just need to survive. However, parents can alleviate their symptoms by:
- Massage.
- Exercises "bike" and "frog".
- Warming the tummy with a warm diaper or baby warmer.
- Medications (Espumisan L, Bobotik, etc.).
- Folk remedies.
- Vent pipe.
How to save a child from fright?
As the baby grows, he begins to relate differently to the world around him. If yesterday the sound of a working vacuum cleaner acted on him like sleeping pills, today it can cause a great fear.
When a child is frightened, one does not need to follow grandmother's beliefs and water the child with holy water. First of all, mother should think about how to calm a small child, and only then carry out all her manipulations.
To calm the baby from the experienced fright, you need to take him in his arms and shake a little. You need to rock the newborn with extreme care, refraining from a large range of movements. Otherwise, it may cause future health problems.
Crying due to discomfort
Adapting to a new environment, it is very difficult for a child to perceive the conditions surrounding him. Therefore, the baby may cry due to the banal discomfort associated with:
- With wet diapers.
- Inconvenient clothes.
- Uncomfortable pose.
- High or low humidity.
- Cold or hot.
For newborns, you should choose the right clothes (only cotton with outer seams), change the diaper on time, dress the child according to the season, monitor the temperature and humidity in the house.
On the advice of pediatricians on how to calm a child before bedtime, you can also resort to tight swaddling. This is true for children in the first three months of life. The fact is that after the mother’s womb, not all babies just get used to the fact that there is so much free space around them.
How to calm a child during a tantrum at 2 years old?
Skating on the floor, crying and unbearable cries in public - a natural behavior for a child of 2 years. It is these methods that children resort to in order to get the desired toy or sweetness from their parents. When the child begins to cry in public places, the parents involuntarily blush and agree to everything that is required of them, destroying the chances of breaking this vicious circle.
If we talk about how to calm a screaming child, the first thing to remember is that you can’t follow his lead. Otherwise, such behavior will manifest itself for a very long time. Yes, the judgmental glances of passers-by do not help to remain firm. Therefore, it is better to act in the following sequence:
- Isolate the child from others. At home - in a separate room, on the street - in a secluded place.
- Make it clear that this behavior will not change the decision to ban.
- Keep calm and do not show aggression until the peak of hysteria does not subside.
- Explain how you can express your dissatisfaction in a different way. For example, verbally: “I am upset,” “I am angry,” “I am offended.”
Hyperactivity as a cause of childhood nervousness
Some parents find that they do not know how to calm a hyperactive child. Hyperactive children, because of excessive emotional stress, sleep poorly at night, are often capricious, and are prone to sudden outbursts of anger.
In this case, a tantrum is easier to prevent than to stop. To do this, you need to enter a clear daily routine, play calm games with your child in the evening, and do relaxing herbal baths before bedtime.
Tantrums in a child at 3 years old
The peak of the child’s capricious behavior occurs precisely in the third year of life. In psychology, there is even a special term for such a phenomenon - “3 years crisis”. It manifests itself in increased nervousness, waywardness, denial and obstinacy of the child. Therefore, it is during this period that the question of how to calm the child during hysteria is especially acute.
In fact, the mechanism of action is the same as in the previous case: isolation - perseverance - patience - conversation. The main thing for parents is to recall that the goal of the child is not to anger you, but to draw attention to yourself and show your "I". Therefore, you need to show him another way to do this, except to throw yourself into a tantrum. Usually, by the age of 4, children begin to understand how to compromise with their parents.
What to do if tantrums continue at 4 years old?
Tantrums at 4 years old are the result of parents misbehaving. If crying and screaming made it possible to get what you wanted at 2 and 3 years old, then why shouldn’t you do this now? When parents did not understand how to calm a capricious child, and followed his lead, they thereby encouraged such behavior.
Therefore, to eliminate such behavior, you need to teach him how to adequately respond to the word "no." Moreover, this should be done not only by mom or dad, but also other family members with whom the child is in contact.
Speaking about how to calm a nervous child, it is worth mentioning the medical aspects of this problem. Additionally, you can seek advice from a pediatric neurologist. Perhaps this behavior is due to serious health problems. Especially when tantrums are accompanied by bodily harm, holding your breath or losing consciousness.
How to calm a child in kindergarten: recommendations for parents
Familiarity with kindergarten is a huge stress for children. Unfamiliar aunts, someone else's atmosphere, parting with my mother often very upset the baby, bringing him to hysteria. Therefore, how to calm a small child, you need to prepare before your first visit to kindergarten.
Child psychologists give the following recommendations:
- 3-4 months before the X-day, you need to introduce the child to the kindergarten in a playful way. For example, to play role-playing games "teacher - pupil", introduce a similar daily routine, come up with a farewell ritual.
- Enroll in an adaptation group in order to familiarize the baby with the future situation in advance.
- Spend more time in the company of children in the playground.
- To prepare immunity for a meeting with new bacteria: sleep more, introduce more fruits and vegetables into the diet, walk in the fresh air.
Regardless of how the training went, the child will cry for the first time anyway. But in trained children, the adaptation period is much shorter than in the rest.
Bringing the baby to kindergarten, in no case should you quietly run away. If you have not seen tears, this does not mean that they were not there, this is first. Secondly, such an act is regarded by children as an outright betrayal, which is very injuring and affects the self-esteem of your child.
Some experts advise for the period of adaptation to assign the responsibility for delivering the child to kindergarten to other family members to whom the baby is less attached. For example, to grandparents. Mom is also allowed to take him home.
If the adaptation is really very difficult, you may need to contact a child psychologist. There should be such a specialist in the staff of preschool institutions, so first of all you need to go to him. He can make out the situation on the spot, unlike the psychologists of private practice.