A child cries in a kindergarten: what to do? Komarovsky: adaptation of a child in kindergarten. Psychologist's advice

Few children have their first visit to a kindergarten without tears. But while for some, adaptation to a kindergarten passes without a trace and literally after a week or two the child remains calmly in bedtime, while for others this process drags on for a long time, and constant crying alternates with endless illnesses. Why is the child crying in the kindergarten? What to do? Komarovsky E.O. - children's doctor, author of popular books and television programs on children's health - gives a detailed explanation of how to properly solve these problems without harming the child and family. Read more about this in our article.

Why the child does not want to go to kindergarten

Most children begin to attend kindergarten at the age of two or three years. The period of adaptation to the garden is often accompanied by crying or tantrums. Here you need to understand why the child does not want to go to kindergarten, and help him overcome this barrier.

The main reason for the negative attitude to the kindergarten in a child is connected with the separation from parents. It turns out that until the age of three, the baby was inextricably linked with his mother and suddenly he was left in an unfamiliar environment surrounded by strangers. At the same time, they also require him to eat and perform a series of actions that he can not do under stress. His familiar world, familiar from childhood, turns upside down, and tears in this case will be inevitable.

So, there are six main reasons why the child does not want to go to kindergarten :

1. He does not want to part with his mother (excessive custody).
2. He is afraid that he will not be taken from the kindergarten.
3. Feels fear of the team and the new institution.
4. Afraid of the teacher.
5. He is offended in the garden.
6. In the kindergarten, the baby feels lonely.

Another thing is that children, like adults, are also different and do not react equally to the situation. Someone quickly adapts to the new team, and someone cannot join it even after years of communication. In this situation, parents need to prepare the child for separation in advance so that the tears during separation do not pour into a tantrum for several hours.

What if a child cries in a kindergarten?

All the causes of crying in children during the period of adaptation to kindergarten are considered quite normal. Most of the children calm down during the first hour. The task of parents is to help the baby learn to cope with emotions on their own and try to find out from him why the baby is crying in the kindergarten.

What to do, Komarovsky explains as follows:

1. To minimize stress, getting used to the kindergarten should be gradual. The worst option is when the mother takes the child to the kindergarten in the morning, leaves him crying for the whole day, and she safely leaves for work. This is strictly not recommended. Competent and proper adaptation suggests that the time spent in the garden should be increased gradually: first by 2 hours, then until afternoon sleep, then before dinner. Moreover, each subsequent stage should begin only after successfully overcoming the previous one. If the child does not eat breakfast in the garden, then it is unreasonable to leave him until an afternoon nap.
2. Expand your social circle. It is advisable to begin acquaintance with children attending the same group, even before entering the kindergarten. So the child will make first friends, and psychologically it will be easier for him in the garden, knowing that Masha or Vanya also go to him. Vnesadikovskoe communication is also an excellent training for immunity.
3. Talk to a child. Important: every day you should definitely ask the baby how his day went, what new things he learned today, what he ate, etc. This will help to cope with psychological stress faster. Be sure to praise the baby for his first achievements. If the child is not yet talking, take an interest in his achievements with the caregiver, and simply praise the baby for them.

These simple steps are actually effective and will certainly help cope with tears in kindergarten.

Should I drive to the kindergarten if the child is crying?

From the point of view of sociology, psychology and pedagogy, kindergarten is considered as a positive factor contributing to the full development of the child and his proper education. Collective life teaches a child to communicate with peers and adults, making it easier for him to study at school and build relationships with management and work colleagues over time.

Timely preparation of the child for kindergarten begins a few months before the planned event, but even in this case there may be problems with adaptation. It is easiest for children with a high degree of adaptation to get used to the new team, to whom the change of scenery does not cause much discomfort. It is more difficult for kids with a low degree of adaptation. They often use such a term as a "non-Sadik child." One hundred parents to do such children? Is it worth it to take a child to kindergarten if he is crying?

The answer to the last question parents must give themselves. An important role is also played by how often the baby is sick. Usually in children with low adaptation, immunity decreases sharply, so they are more susceptible to various diseases. If a mother can afford to sit with her child at home, then she may well make such a decision for herself. But it is worth considering that, as a rule, such children are difficult to get used not only to the kindergarten, but also to the team at school.

Adaptation of a child in kindergarten: psychologist's advice

The topic of adaptation of children to kindergarten is considered very common among psychologists. And this question is really very serious, since the subsequent attitude of the child to school depends on it.

What should be the adaptation of the child in kindergarten? Psychologist's advice comes down to the following list of recommendations:

1. The optimal age for the first visit to the kindergarten is from 2 to 3 years. You should get acquainted with the new team before the well-known “crisis of three years” comes.
2. You can not scold the child for the fact that he is crying in the kindergarten and does not want to attend him. The kid only expresses his emotions, and when punishing, the mother only develops a sense of guilt in him.
3. Try to go on an excursion even before visiting the kindergarten, get to know the group, children, and the teacher.
4. Play kindergarten with your child. Let the dolls be educators and children in kindergarten. Show your child an example of how it can be fun and interesting in him.
5. Adaptation of a child in the garden can be more successful if the child is taken away by another member of your family, for example, dad or grandmother, that is, the one to whom he is emotionally less attached.

Try to do everything possible so that the addiction is as soft as possible for the baby and does not break his fragile children's psyche.

Preparing a child for kindergarten

According to Dr. Komarovsky, a change in the usual environment for a child almost always causes him stress. To avoid this, it is necessary to observe simple rules that will prepare the child for life in a team.

Preparing a child for kindergarten consists of several stages:

1. The period of psychological adaptation. Preparing for a trip to kindergarten should begin about 3-4 months before the scheduled date. In a playful way, the child needs to explain what kindergarten is, why they go there, what he will do there. At this stage, it is important to interest the child, point out the benefits of visiting the garden, tell him how lucky he is to go to this institution, because many parents would like to send their children there, but they chose him because he is the most.
2. Immunity preparation. Try to have a good rest in the summer, give the child more fresh fruits and vegetables, and at least a month before visiting the kindergarten, it is advisable to drink a course of vitamins for children attending the kindergarten. This will not protect the baby from infection during the period of acute respiratory diseases, but they will flow much easier, without complications to other organs and systems. At the very beginning of the disease, as soon as the child feels unwell, you need to pick up his kindergarten and begin treatment, because in this case even an adapted child can begin to cry.
3. Compliance with the regime. Regardless of whether the child has already gone to kindergarten or is just about to, it is important to adhere to such a regime of sleep and rest, as in the kindergarten. In this case, the baby, getting into new conditions for him, will feel psychologically more comfortable.
4. Tell your child that educators will always come to the rescue in the kindergarten. For example, if he wants to drink, it is enough to ask the teacher about it.

And most importantly, you never need to scare a child with a kindergarten.

First day in kindergarten

This is the most difficult day in the life of mother and baby. The first day in the kindergarten is an alarming and exciting moment, which often depends on how easy or difficult the adaptation will be.

The following recommendations will help turn your first visit to kindergarten into a holiday:

1. So that the morning rise does not become an unpleasant surprise for the child, prepare him in advance for the fact that tomorrow he is going to kindergarten.
2. In the evening, prepare clothes and toys that the baby may want to take with him.
3. It’s better to go to bed on time so that you feel more alert in the morning.
4. In the morning, behave calmly, as if nothing exciting was happening. The child should not see your experiences.
5. In the kindergarten, the child needs help to undress and bring him to the caregiver. No need to secretly run away as soon as the baby turns away. Mom herself must explain to the child that she is leaving for work and say that she will definitely return for him. And this is not due to the fact that the child is crying in the kindergarten. What to do, Komarovsky explains that it is important for a child to know that he will be picked up as soon as he has breakfast or plays.
6. Do not leave your baby on the first day for more than 2 hours.

What should a caregiver do if a child cries in the garden?

Much in adapting children to kindergarten depends on the teacher. To some extent, he should be a psychologist who knows firsthand the problems of children in kindergarten. During adaptation, the caregiver should be in direct contact with the parents. If the baby is crying, he should try to calm the baby. But if the child does not make contact, stubbornly and begins to cry even louder, at the next meeting, he should ask his mother how to influence him. Perhaps the baby has some favorite games that will distract him from tears.

It is important that the teacher in the garden does not press on the child and does not blackmail him. This is not valid. To threaten that mom will not come for you, just because you did not eat porridge, first of all, inhumane. The teacher should become a friend of the child, and then the baby will attend the kindergarten with pleasure.

A child cries on the way to kindergarten

A typical situation for many families is when a child begins to cry at home and continues to do so on the way to kindergarten. Not all parents can calmly endure such behavior on the street, and a showdown begins, which often ends with a grandiose tantrum.

The reasons why the child cries, does not want to go to kindergarten and arranges tantrums along the way:

• The kid just does not get enough sleep and rises from the bed without any mood. In this case, try to go to bed early.
• Allow enough time for morning awakening. You don’t need to dress immediately and go to kindergarten from the bed. Let the baby lie in bed for 10-15 minutes, watch cartoons, etc.
• Make small presentations for your children or caregiver. You can buy small sweets that the child will distribute to the children after breakfast, cookies, coloring pages printed on a home printer. Talk about the fact that he is not just going to kindergarten, but will be a wizard in him and bring gifts to children.

What to do to prevent the child from crying in the kindergarten?

What can parents do so that the child does not cry in the kindergarten:

• conduct psychological preparation of the baby 3-4 months before the start of visiting the garden;
• more often to tell the baby about the benefits of the garden, for example, many kids like to hear that they have become adults;
• on the first day in the kindergarten do not leave it for more than 2 hours;
• allow to take a toy with you from home (only not too expensive);
• clearly specify the time frame when mom takes it, for example, after breakfast, after lunch, or after a walk;
• communicate with the child and ask him about the past day every time;
• Do not be nervous and do not show it to the child, no matter how hard it may be for you.

Common Parent Mistakes

Most often, parents make the following mistakes in adapting the child to kindergarten:

1. Stop adaptation immediately if the child did not cry for the first day in kindergarten. The kid can well endure a one-time parting with his mother, but it is not uncommon for the child to cry on the third day in the kindergarten because he was immediately left for the whole day.
2. Suddenly leave without saying goodbye. In a child, this can cause the most severe stress.
3. They blackmail the child with a kindergarten.
4. Some parents lend themselves to manipulation if the child cries in the kindergarten. What to do, Komarovsky explains that giving in to childish whims or tantrums is not worth it. From the fact that you allow the baby to stay at home today, he will not stop crying tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

If parents see that it is difficult for a child to adapt to kindergarten, and they do not know how to help the baby, they should consult a psychologist. Consultations with parents in kindergarten will help to develop a set of actions, thanks to which the baby will begin to gradually get used to life in the team. However, all this will be effective only if the parents are determined and interested in taking the child to kindergarten and will not shy away from the advice of a psychologist as soon as possible.