The book "5 languages of love" today is very popular. Many readers interested in the topic of personal growth and self-improvement could not pass by it. The work will be incredibly useful to the newlyweds, who are only on the verge of living together. If you read “5 languages of love” in time, you can prevent the numerous scandals that so often occur between young spouses. However, for people who have been married for many years, the book will also be useful.
Not always without a good psychologist it seems possible to independently figure out what is happening. If people begin to make efforts, diligently study information and draw conclusions, then a positive effect is guaranteed.
book author
Gary Chapman is a famous American psychologist, author of numerous studies. He outlined his daily observations in the book "5 languages of love." Reviews about it help to believe that every person is able to change if he knows in which direction he should move. The author claims that relations that began to deteriorate can be reanimated and ultimately saved.
Many divorces occur due to the fact that in most cases people do not want to work, do not believe in their own prospects. Instead of jointly looking for ways out of the crisis, they move away from each other, often resorting to treason. As a result, relationships collapse.
The main idea of the work
Chapman’s book “5 Languages of Love” tells us that for each person their manifestations of feeling are of great importance. One hug is important, the other must systematically receive help or hear affectionate speeches. Sometimes these "languages" may not coincide with the husband and wife. And then between the spouses misunderstandings and quarrels begin. It seems to each of the partners that they do not like him, they do not appreciate him, they do not respect him sufficiently, just as he deserves it.
Many do not know how to solve this problem. Someone blames everything on fatigue, everyday bustle and endless everyday problems. But in fact, you need to learn how to properly interact with each other. It is necessary to act consciously, trying not to injure or offend the loved one. The main idea of the work is a simple truth: you need to learn to understand the "language" of the partner and try to communicate with him in this particular dialect. Let us consider in more detail what exactly is at stake.
The words
For most women, it is extremely important what a man tells them. It is not in vain that girls are loved with their ears. A rare woman will not be delighted when enthusiastic speeches are made in her honor. If a woman's main language of love is words, then she will become incredibly discouraged if she does not receive such attention in relation to herself. When a man forgets to give her a compliment in time, she will already consider herself unnecessary, uninteresting and unattractive. It's hard to believe, but it really works that way. Words for some people really mean a lot. And this does not indicate any frivolity.
Touch
In most cases, representatives of the stronger sex very well "speak" in this "language". Touching is what helps them understand: they are loved and needed. For each guy, sexual interaction with a girl is significant.
Refusing physical intimacy, they feel flawed. However, this is not only about men. If a woman's leading language of love is just touch, then she will need constant hugs and caresses.
Gifts
Also a common option, especially among the fair sex. For such a person, showing attention is certainly a gift. Presents do not have to be terribly expensive; the fact of their presence is important. Otherwise, it becomes very difficult to believe that you are truly loved, appreciated and respected. If a guy, on a date, does not give gifts to a girl, and this is very important for her, it is likely that the relationship will not be able to go to a serious stage. We are not talking about any kind of calculation and commercialism. Just for a separate group of people, love is completely unthinkable without any material surprises.
Help
It can be very difficult for such people to meet their soul mate. They seek a deep relationship, but do not understand why for a long time they have not met a suitable partner. Someone blames himself, others believe that the people around him have changed too much. When the language of love is precisely help, then a person can seek it for a very long time. It is important for him that he should not just be given the necessary attention, but that he should participate in all spheres of life. Willingness at any moment to offer their help on any issue, they consider the highest manifestation of romantic feelings.
Time
This language of love suggests that it is important for a person to spend as many hours and minutes as possible with her.
Such people like to keep everything under control and therefore strive to share their experiences with the partner as much as possible. In response, they want to receive joint time.
Harry Chapman "5 languages of love": reviews
The appearance of this work on the literary market caused a big wave of positive emotions. This is evidenced by numerous laudatory reviews of the "5 languages of love." Many people have experienced something like the greatest revelation: they came to understand how to behave in a relationship. And although the book does not have a direct guide to action, there is a lot of useful material that makes you think a lot. This is food for thought. She deserves to be introduced to everyone who is preparing to marry.
After all, only by becoming a responsible family man, you can make another person happy. The book gained such popularity that it was translated into 38 languages. For most people who know little about the psychology of relationships, it has become a real discovery. Using the above tips, you can significantly improve your life in marriage, make it more vibrant and fulfilled. Reviews of "5 languages of love" by Gary Chapman make you think a lot, rethink your actions, come to certain conclusions. Readers note its usefulness in many aspects.
Work on yourself
If you carefully study the text, you can see that it is a real psychological study. A person gradually realizes that he did the wrong thing, tried to defend only his own interests and did not notice the needs of his partner. This is really a serious reason for the appearance of the first doubts and insecurities. The problem is solved only if people take full responsibility for what is happening. This is what Chapman says. Reviews of "5 languages of love" are filled with a special, deep meaning.
If each of us will really work on our own character and try to better understand the other, then in the world, no doubt, there will be fewer divorces. Breaks in relations occur precisely because partners are focused only on their own problems. We are just afraid to go deep, to look a little further today, preferring to focus on momentary difficulties.
An opportunity to understand a partner
Reviews of the “5 languages of love” allow us to realize that it is important to maintain emotional balance in marriage. We must strive with all our might to understand our partner, to do something pleasant for him. You can build trust only if you together go the path of intense dedication, you can openly talk about your feelings.
The desire to understand a partner is an opportunity to plunge into the unknown world of feelings, from which we often run away in everyday life. The fact is that many people are afraid to seem weak, because they hide their negative emotional states. But in fact, you need to strive to maximize your openness and trust your soulmate.
Motivation for action
This is surprising, however, studying the reviews of the book “5 Languages of Love”, you begin to notice how many things you have not noticed before. It seems that a gigantic stream of useful information was passing by, and you simply did not know how to use all those useful tools of influence that now suddenly opened.
For many people, a strong motivation for action is formed in the process of reading a book. They begin to feel in themselves an indomitable desire to try to change something in life. A large amount of creative energy comes, which requires embodiment in reality. By becoming more responsible, we learn to change our behavior where it is really necessary.
Continuous self-improvement
Reviews of “5 languages of love” help to understand how important such a concept as self-improvement is in life. Work on relationships implies that people must change. It is impossible to stand in one place and at the same time develop. Unfortunately, spouses often forget about it. If one of the partners gets stuck at some stage, this immediately affects the general alliance.
Gradually, people cease to understand each other, and at some point a conflict is brewing. It is necessary to read special literature in order to learn in time to be aware of the mistakes made. Personal growth implies the ability to change the strategy of behavior that is no longer useful. Taking into account the material of this book, you can take a fresh look at the surrounding reality, designate for yourself the constructive methods of overcoming the family crisis.
Instead of a conclusion
Thus, “5 languages of love” by Gary Chapman is an amazing opportunity to look at yourself from the outside. Anyone who wants to change and wants to live in harmony with his soulmate must definitely study the principles of harmonious coexistence. If you are careful enough when reading it, you will very soon be able to notice visible changes in your way of thinking. It is likely that you will have the ability to look at the situation from the side, evaluate it from different perspectives. Your soulmate will be grateful for endless care. Indeed, if a partner seeks to give more joy, respect and warmth, this fact cannot be ignored. Communicate with your loved one in his language of love, then happiness will remain in the house for a long time.