Parents from an early age repeat to us: to pretend and disingenuous is not good, you need to be sincere with others. Growing up, we teach our children these truths, without any doubt in their rightness. But do we always manage to remain sincere ourselves? What does pretense mean? Could it be useful? Let us look at this phenomenon impartially.
The meaning of the word pretense
You can pick up a lot of synonyms for it: lies, bluffs, hypocrisy, crippling, insincerity, cunning, deceit, cunning, doneness. The following definition is given in Ushakov’s dictionary: pretense is a person’s behavior intended to hide the truth, to mislead.
The pretender assumes a foreign role, plays an image that does not correspond to reality. Thus, a person manages to hide true thoughts, feelings, attitude. Surrounding people do not see his real face, but a mask. And they believe her. Thus, it is possible to circle them around the finger, to make them trust. This is often used by scammers. But is it only for the sake of self-interest that we put on someone else's mask?
Defensive reaction
Not only people can deceive, but also animals. Here the mouse pretends to be dead, being in the clutches of a cat. Here the bird leads the predator away from the nest, deliberately dragging the wing. For animals, pretense is a way of hunting or protecting. It helps them survive. And for what purpose do people often pretend to be?
The most common are the following reasons:
- Maintaining an image. If you are neatly dressed, polite and attentive, it’s easier to win the girl’s heart. If you are arrogant and untied, you will be respected in a cool company.
- Courtesy, fear of hurting others. Because of her, we will not criticize the new acquaintance for the ridiculous suit and bad breath. And we will not say to our sister that we consider her husband stupid.
- Fear that they will condemn you, they will punish you. It makes us pretend that everything suits us at the workplace, although colleagues peer over the bones for the boss in the eyes.
- Protection against psychological trauma. We sometimes pretend that it doesn’t hurt us, although the soul is torn. Apparent indifference allows you to stay afloat, to save face when all life collapses.
As you see, pretense also serves as a defense for a person, helps to adapt to life in society.
Fool yourself
For actors, pretense is a profession. They play the roles of Hamlet and Superman, Othello and Santa Claus, each time finding inside themselves a piece of a new image. But an ordinary person also has to change his role: either he is a loving son, then his best friend, then an excellent specialist, then a caring husband, then a wonderful father, or a cheerful drinking companion. These roles are imposed on us by society. Is this not a pretense? Do we know ourselves outside these roles?
What if you try on other images? If you were weak, wear the mask of the strong. Nobody seems to care about you? Pretend that others around you love and appreciate you. That every stranger will surely like you. Psychologists assure: new roles only at first seem to be pretense. The human potential is unlimited. So why don't we choose masks and masks for ourselves? Suddenly behind them is your real "I"?
Pretense is a person’s property to change, adapt, and be different depending on the situation. It can be used for personal gain, and can be beneficial. It is necessary to pretend if a person lives within the framework of society. To say otherwise is to lie to oneself.