The baby's need for love, understanding and care can be expressed in different ways. This can be either a direct request (which happens quite rarely) or bad behavior (which is more common).
Good manners are the key to proper education
An ill-bred child can behave terribly, fight, interfere with classes or lessons, shout down teachers and teachers, or just make noise, not giving parents the opportunity to relax after a hard day's work. As a rule, the parent tries to cope with a similar situation, but the more he tries, the worse it turns out. Moms and dads very often repeat one rule, which sounds like this: it requires attention. Of course, your child has many other psychological needs, in addition to increased attention to himself and his “I want”.
Difficult child: what to do?
Consider the most important question: how to raise a child and not harm him? Contrary to popular belief, raising children is not a purposeful special activity once a day, when mom and dad sit in the evening next to the little son or daughter and begin to tell how to communicate and behave. The upbringing process is what happens in a child’s communication with parents and other adults in life. It should happen all the time: when dad watches football, and mom is going for a walk with friends, or when mom and dad swear and make peace. But what to do in such situations? After all, life is sometimes very difficult, not always relatives in a good mood. Children from preschool age already understand and realize what they are experiencing, and how to react to these feelings. They learn from parents how to correctly respond to this or that experience, and if mom and dad cannot behave in an approximate manner, then an uneducated family member appears.
Definition of an ill-bred - spoiled child
It is known that if a child is considered spoiled, this speaks first of all of his bad manners. As a rule, the baby is emotionally unstable, subject to regular whims and tantrums, never obeys his parents, clearly expresses his egoism, does not know how and does not want to communicate with his peers. It is such children who are ill-mannered and spoiled, they consider themselves the center of the universe and do what they want. There is such a concept of “minion”, many compare this to spoiling, but this is completely not so. After all, you can spoil it only by regularly indulging his whims, buying expensive gifts on demand. As for the minions, they receive parental love and care in moderation.
Uneducated child: signs
First of all, these are wild children who live only their “want” and perceive the people around them as something that they can use, how they want and when. In the context of this, a well-educated child is an adequate and, rather, useful than harmful creature (after all, as we know, there are children as a natural disaster). But such, at least, are well-mannered and cultured. Let's look at real examples of a very important question: who is a spoiled, ill-bred child and how to deal with it?
Examples of ill-bred children
- The kid does not want to share his personal things, food, attention of others. Often, to achieve his goals, he specifically uses hysteria.
- Strong dependence on parental care. Such a offspring constantly needs the presence of relatives, no matter how difficult it may be.
- It shows increased claims to food, does not want to eat ordinary food, requires forbidden sweets.
- Constantly dissatisfied with clothes, food, toys, attention. Often refuses to walk.
- He will never help adults with cleaning the apartment, I am convinced that mother or grandmother are obliged to clean everything after him.
- Constantly rude to adults, and those, in turn, gradually lose respect and cease to be authority for him. Often, ill-mannered children at a party show their moods and disobedience, which makes even parents ashamed. In an effort to attract the attention of adults, it can make noise, interfere with conversation, make seizures, and so on.
- He knows how to manipulate adults and with the help of this he achieves his goals. Hysteria, tears, and licking can be used, and the assault on the side of the offspring is also traced.
- Doesn't know the word no. This is the result of permissiveness, and over time, he will begin to not understand why he is denied.
The reasons for the above symptoms may be the initially incorrect and non-pedagogical approach of the father, mother, grandparents in the eternal question of how to raise a child. Very often there is not enough time for the formation of a offspring, and adults then buy off expensive gifts.
Uncultured parents and their problems in education
There are also ill-mannered parents who deceive other people, cunning, pretend to be, lying and disingenuous in front of their relatives, neighbors and friends. Be sure that the children will see and do the same, repeating all your actions. It is from you that they learn to lie, deceive, behave vilely and unworthily. Such upbringing will not lead to anything good; your children will no longer be respected and loved, they will even shun. Such children will not grow up worthy, they will never be happy with everything, and they will not blame themselves, but the surrounding, evil world.
What is possible and what is not?
And there are such individuals of the family who are not able to refuse their beloved child and are foolishly convinced that each restriction will adversely affect the emotional state of the baby. It is necessary to build a system of education so that the child understands and determines where it is good and where it is bad, where it is possible and where it is not. And also show respect for other people, try to respond correctly to life situations with the help of parents and be able to control their emotions.
Psychologists' recommendations: how to properly raise a child
Most families wonder: at what age do you need to start shaping the behavior of your child? It is a long-known fact that you need to educate from birth. Loving and adequate parents must pay special attention to this fact, since it depends on how your beloved baby grows up. It is the ill-bred children in school that bring chaos and anxiety, create discomfort for adequate children, offend the weak and often resort to physical violence.
Basic tips for raising a child
- It is necessary to love the child as he is, even if sometimes he is naughty and indulges. Trust is the main factor in education. When the baby sees that they believe him, he will strive for prudence, honesty and will not want to upset his parents.
- Experience all failures and difficulties together, this will show that you are worried about him. Thus, the child learns to pay attention to problems with other people, to help loved ones, he will have a sense of empathy and sympathy.
- It is necessary to communicate and be passionate about everything that interests the baby. Then he will be happy to share with you his feelings, impressions, thoughts.
- When a baby has a desire to help with housework, never refuse. Otherwise, in the future such an impulse may disappear for good.
- Remember that children need to be praised even if they have completed a simple task. Subsequently, they will want to seek a solution already in more difficult tasks.
- If the child is mistaken, do not rush to scold and punish him. First you need to find out why he did it and what he wanted to show with his behavior. It is necessary to explain to him that doing so is not good.
Success and failure of the baby
- Give the baby the opportunity to correct his own mistakes, hear his explanations. Then he will cease to worry and be afraid.
- So that children grow up organized and confident, parents should behave the same way. No need to rush to blame for something, but rather first pay attention to your mistakes and actions.
- Whatever difficulties are observed, always support the child and help him. This will give confidence, strength, thanks to this, the child will have a desire to conquer new heights and achieve their goals.
7 mistakes in raising children
Young mothers and fathers make a lot of mistakes, which then adversely affect the physical state of the offspring and his mental health. How to avoid the main mistakes in education so that an ill-bred child does not appear in the family? This is described below.
- Accusations and threats. The method of education through reproaches, threats, intimidation, and shame is the main mistake that has come to us from the past. The phrase "Shame on you!" apply so far. The child not only feels shame for what he has done, but loses all activity, and this kills any subsequent initiative. In this way, you can raise a moral disabled person, especially the popular phrase "We will no longer love you." Indeed, for young children this is a huge shock, hysteria and a desire to do dirty tricks to someone in spite.
- Inconsistency and inconsistency in education. From childhood, your baby should be limited to what is permitted. Changing requirements and prohibitions daily is wrong. The child will become confused and lost in different "can" and "not." The requirements for children for all family members should be the same. That parent whose position in the upbringing is disadvantageous for the baby will receive disrespect for himself and will cease to be authoritative if the rules of upbringing are not followed.
- Uneven attitude. Quite often, adults transfer all their difficulties and problems to communicating with children, which, of course, is wrong. At one point, they kiss, pamper, buy everything that they ask. And the very next day they can scream, get angry or simply ignore. Different “possible” and “impossible” completely depend on the mood of your beloved mothers and daddies. If you do not want your baby to grow mentally unstable, control your emotions, do not break the grudge on the kids. After all, regaining trust will be incredibly more difficult than losing it.
- Excessive custody. There is such a category of mothers, which are called mother hens. Such mothers unnecessarily take care of their children, which harms their full, normal development. Hyperopeca negatively affects different sides of your child. He will not be able to find friends for a long time, he will not be able to express his opinion and uphold it.
- Lack of time. One of the main mistakes of parents is not enough time for classes with children. Everyone is constantly busy at work, housework, but this does not mean that you need to forget about the needs of the child. He needs your attention and joint evenings, conversations, games and reading your favorite books. Otherwise, your baby will begin to feel unnecessary and will seek support and understanding from strangers.
- Lack of affection. Children of any age need affection and attention. They make you feel necessary, loved. Therefore, it is impossible to refuse this pleasure to the son or daughter. But it is also important to remember that it is forbidden to impose affection. You should not force you to kiss, hug. Indeed, tenderness should come from the heart, and not because it is necessary.
- Money issue. In no case can you replace love with money, but, unfortunately, a child in the modern world experiences this very often. It is clear to everyone that adults are trying to earn as much as possible for the common good, but still money cannot replace parental love and affection. Any, even the most expensive purchase will fade if your child does not have enough attention and care.
The goal of proper education
Parents who truly love their children take them seriously and seriously. They make decisions based on the good that it will bring to the child. Parents who do not explain to their child what is good and what is bad spoil the human nature of the baby. Hence the ill-bred children and their mothers appear who do not hear anything and do everything in their own way, ignoring others. Uncertain, angry, and moody personalities grow out of these babies.