Someone uses curses to insult and humiliate the interlocutor, someone - to add expressiveness and weightiness, someone - just wanting to appear their own in a certain company. Some swearing obscenities are considered completely unacceptable, others do not find anything special in this and perceive it simply as part of popular culture. However, in the vast majority of cases, both agree that abuse is unacceptable to children. At all times and in all cultures, children are always associated with something bright and pure, and obscene abuse even by its most ardent admirers is not positioned as something pure.
However, since children live not in strict isolation, but in society, swearing penetrates into their conversations. Unfortunately, recently parents are increasingly faced with the fact that the child swears at school. What to do in this case? It is important to understand the causes of this phenomenon, the motives that prompted the child to use strong expressions, and the goal that he wants to achieve with this. Then you can timely, gently and competently correct the behavior of the baby.
First shock
So, the baby just learned to speak. He still has difficulty pronouncing some words. And here, along with touching babble, the obscene word or expression clearly sounds. Parents are in shock! Further, events develop according to one of the scenarios rolled up. First: the child is scolded and strictly forbidden to continue to pronounce such words. Second: the first shock is followed first by a nervous laugh, and then a completely full sincere laughter. Well then! So small, and there too! How cool! On the Internet you can easily find many videos with material on how children swear. Jokes of this kind are very popular. And most often the parents themselves put their children on public display.
Ambulance
Why is a very small child cursing? What should parents do? It is very important to remember that at the age of two to three years, your baby just can not understand the meaning of these words. Just the children grasp everything on the fly and try to use it right away. But at this moment it is worth thinking about where the kid had heard such words from. If it is customary in your family to use foul language or, if in rare cases, but still permissible, then be prepared for the fact that sooner or later the child will follow your example. Therefore, first of all, it is worth monitoring the purity of your own speech.
In addition, a small child can hear abusive expressions from older brothers and sisters or their friends, guests, on a walk or from TV. Analyze the social circle and protect the baby from the danger of "becoming infected" with words that are unpleasant for you. In case you heard abuse from a two-year-old peanut, just ignore it. In no case do not react violently! Particularly harmful in this case is laughter. After all, realizing that he brought you joy, the baby will again and again try to cause this reaction. If you do not pay attention, it is likely that the child will simply forget an incomprehensible word for him. However, remember that this approach is effective only with children two to three years old. When a child grows, his perception changes. It is also necessary to change approaches.
Manipulation attempts
At the age of three to five years, a small child swears obscenely. Naturally, he still does not fully understand the meaning of the words used. But the fact that these words are bad, he is already aware. Interestingly, the use of curses can be a signal that the child is desperately trying to somehow attract the attention of parents. The mechanism of this phenomenon is quite simple, and the logic is truly childish.
Imagine a simple everyday situation: parents are completely absorbed in caring for their baby - in order to feed high-quality, put them to bed on time, dress beautifully and buy good developmental toys. But here, in order to devote enough personal time to the baby, as a rule, there is no longer any strength left. “Go play”, “watch TV”, “baby, mom is tired ....”. And the child leaves. But the desire for attention remains. And then one day, uttering a brand new word, he receives such a welcome attention! In especially neglected cases, the child will not be stopped even by the fact that it will be a violent reaction and even punishment. Most importantly, he now feels that mom and dad are interested in him.
Clarification of the situation
As in the case of very young children, it is important not to react too violently. You can ask where the child heard such words. Since by this age the circle of communication is expanding, the source may be a friend in a kindergarten or a neighbor. Look carefully at the reaction. Does the child expect a special attitude to what has been said? Maybe he still just doesn't understand the meaning of the words? Or does the child swear already consciously, realizing that these are some special expressions?
Sit still and, most importantly, explain the meaning of these words directly and respectfully. Say that they are used to offend another. But do good boys and girls want to offend their friends? Well, if other children say this, then, probably, they are still very small and silly. And they themselves do not know what they are saying. But it’s not worth repeating stupidity after others. Dad and mom don't like it.
And, of course, try to spend more time with your child. It is much easier to invest good in it now than to eradicate the bad then. Do not forget that at this tender age, children do not just quickly absorb all the incoming information. There is a personality formation in which you can and should take a direct part.
Primary school problems
In the lower grades, the child swears obscenities most often in order to gain authority among peers. But sometimes this can happen as an attempt to annoy parents. At this age, the child is fully aware that parents do not like such turns of speech. And on his part, this may be a kind of revenge for refusing to buy something or for punishment.
Another reason may lie in the reaction of the parents themselves to the actions of the child. If the children hear the words “fool”, “scoundrel”, “dumbass” in their address, then in order to annoy parents? they will use the same model of behavior. And, of course, they will not check their vocabulary for censorship.
Learn to think about the meaning of words.
When thinking about how to wean a child from swearing , always start by analyzing your attitude, your way of communicating. And not only with the child himself, but also with the spouse, and with other family members. Eliminate verbal grievances from your conversations and try not to watch, even with children, those films and TV shows where such a style of communication is exposed as harmless, funny and witty.
And having heard profanity from the student’s lips, ask him to explain the meaning of this word. Why did he use it in this sentence? What's the connection? But is it needed there? And why exactly it? Be absolutely calm. Let the child see that he does not achieve the desired shocking effect, but, on the contrary, looks like a silly absurdity.
Recognition Attempts
At the age of 10-11 years, a child often swears at school, copying the behavior of either peers or an idol, be it an actor, athlete or even one of fictional characters. In this way, he tries to gain recognition from his friends and stand out from the crowd. Psychologists believe that, using swear words in speech, children give an outlet to unrealized energy. Therefore, in their opinion, those who attend sports sections, are engaged in some kind of hobby or have additional extracurricular activities, are less likely to use obscene expressions. However, these data are controversial, so it would not be very wise to consider the additional burden as a panacea.
The importance of discernment
Correcting the behavior and speech of the child, it is important to understand why it is the child who swears. If your son or daughter is imitating someone, try gently pointing to another example. And to do this is important without excesses. Understand what attracts your child. Courage? Savvy? Popularity? Insight is important here. Having understood what the child likes, pick a more worthy example. It will take time, but it's worth it.
But what if the desire is to decorate your speech? Make it expressive and vibrant? Show that using abuse only impoverishes conversation. Just analyze together, as evidenced by the endless additions of obscene expressions. Yes, just that a person has a poor vocabulary. Emphasize that, speaking correctly and succinctly, you can stand out favorably with your speech.
Teenage problems
The hardest thing, of course, with adolescents. If, understanding why children swear, it is relatively easy to eliminate this problem, then you do not have to wait for easy ways with adolescents. They feel completely mature and independent and often simply rebel against the system, against established rules, trying to prove their own independence and individuality.
However, it is worth explaining that you, as a parent, have every right to establish rules in your home. And the teenager must obey them. Parents may prohibit the use of abuse in their presence. In addition, it will not be amiss to talk about the origin of such a speech. And at the same time and ask whether your son or daughter really wants to be associated with the criminal environment. This can be sobering.
What should not be done
If a child swears, never react too violently. Do not set unmotivated prohibitions. Be sure to explain why you do not want to hear abuse from the lips of a child. Also do not introduce double standards. If no one can swear, then this also applies to you. And it would be right not to chastise the child in front of others. Find out all in private. Show respect for the feelings of a son or daughter. Then you can reasonably expect that they will begin to show respect for you.