The work of the programmer has become so familiar that people began to actively humor about people working in this area. Along with the professional day, jokes about programmers began to appear.
Hell or heaven?
The programmer gets after death at the trial. All his actions were weighed, checked, they won’t find how to judge in order to decide. And then they decided to ask him what he thinks.
The programmer shrugged and asked to see what heaven looks like, and how hell.
He is taken to a huge room, a computer center. Everywhere wires, cars, work in full swing, grids outstretched.
They say:
- Here is paradise, here are users.
“Then where is hell?”
- Yes, here too, only they will make you a system specialist!
Programmer learns to drive
First lesson. The gray-haired instructor, who knows everything, asks a new student, sitting in his training car:
- Well, dear, and where do you work?
- I am a computer programmer.
The instructor turns pale, but is about to:
- Remember, this is NOT a monitor and there are NO recovery buttons!
Programmers are people of a special mindset. Of course, their logic is sometimes difficult to understand for the layman, and often the jokes about programmers and users are written by the programmers themselves.
How programmers get to know each other
The programmer decided to meet beautiful girls and began with questions:
- Girls, will you have tea?
-Not!
“Well, what about coffee?”
- Not!
-Vodka ??
- Not!
He scratching his head:
- It's strange. Standard drivers do not fit ...
The following jokes about programmers and their families continue the topic of the personal life of people who communicate with computers more often than with people.
How do children appear
The wife playfully tells her husband-programmer:
- Honey, I dream of a baby!
He, in all seriousness:
- Then lie down. We will install!
A family
The programmer’s wife happily hugs him and informs that they will have a baby soon.
Programmer pulling back:
- You say that I didn’t come out correctly?
Wife's tricks
The programmer thoughtfully works at the computer. The wife carefully brings him hot coffee, puts the mug on the table. He, not looking at her at all, takes coffee without words, just as silently sips. Suddenly he frowns, and, turning to his wife, exclaims displeasedly:
“I hate sweet coffee!”
- Honey, I'm in the know! But I really wanted to hear your voice!
Humor about the people of this profession continues a series of life situations. It is clear why jokes about programmers never end, because this is such a fertile topic for jokes.
Mom, dear!
Announcement: you need someone patient and adequate to explain to the mother of three programmers how to connect to the Internet.
People come up not only with jokes about programmers, but also about related professions that are also close to computer technology.
Such same system administrators
Especially for the system administrator. Instructions for dumpling modeling.
- We collect dumplings.
- We make forty five backups.
Sysadmin morning
Question: what does the system administrator barely wake up from a very strong drinking bout?
Answer: tests memory.
Often jokes about programmers are so specific that only they, professionals in their code business, can understand them.
The task of the fence
Given: unpainted fence and paint.
Question: how many programmers will need to paint the fence?
Answer: Three teams.
Explanation: The first team will be required to prepare a demo version of the fence. To perform the basic actions, you need a second. Well, the third team is sent to repaint the shortcomings of previous works.
Right question
Two friend programmers communicate:
- Ha, do you know what distinguishes a user from a programmer?
- Of course! A programmer can answer this question in such a way, which even immediately has an answer.
- Hm, and how to understand this?
- Well, here's the question for you: what will happen if 2x2 is 4?
The second on the machine:
- TRUE.
Separate programming areas also deserve their jokes. And now you can read as jokes about 1C programmers, so about application developers.
Observation
What a wonderful office! An ABAP programmer works in an almost home T-shirt. "1C-nickname" is sitting in a suit, and the JAVA-programmer is generally in a down jacket, and put on a hood on top!
Knowledge
The 1C programmer is asked what he writes hard. Answer:
- As we launch it, we will find out there!
As practice shows, stories about the inside of the profession are very vital jokes. An article about bi programmer has become almost a cult.
Cry from the heart
My job is database development. I get satisfaction and joy from the process. But then one thing started to upset me: as soon as people heard that I was working as a programmer, an inexhaustible stream of questions “what kind of device is better to choose” immediately began. They brought me laptops and mice for repair, asked to blow coolers in the system and even fix the phone. Each of my refusals and attempts to explain that the computer locksmith and my profession are completely different areas of work became an occasion for all kinds of universal insults and recognition of me as a snob.
Once I decided that I would either lose friends and new acquaintances, or think up something. Since then, I have answered in detail about my field of activity that my position is “database architect,” and sometimes I could add “and software shells.” It has become much easier, and now I'm not overwhelmed with requests.
But yesterday there was a call from a friend, and I realized that I would never come up with the perfect solution. A friend asked him to design a structure. In the country. Restroom!
Progress
Grandmother carefully addresses her granddaughter of 9 years.
- You know, Mashenka, I already kept a diary in your years.
Mother:
- Grandma, this is a long time ago. I kept a file cabinet!
Daughter:
- Mom, this is the last century! I will enter the database.
The more specific the profession, the more strange the humor about representatives of the region. And as they say, a programmer is such an employee who will smartly solve a problem that no one knew about. And in a way that no one understands.