People express negative emotions in relation to other persons in different ways. Someone simply speaks badly about a person behind him, and someone chooses a more rigid and unpleasant method of influence - psychological violence. Statistics show that the victim most often is not an adult, but a child. Minors are subjected to psychological abuse in schools, on the street, at home. This is a very serious problem, because of it, children are disturbed in emotional behavior, development. They have fears.
What is psychological abuse?
Psychological abuse is also called emotional. This term refers to the periodic or constant insulting of a child by some unpleasant words, the humiliation of his human dignity, the expression of threats. Often, the parents have the desired image of the children. To achieve it, mothers and fathers present to their children such requirements that they are not able to fulfill due to age-related opportunities. This also applies to psychological abuse.
Negative attitude to the child has very serious consequences. He ceases to feel joy. His own experiences begin to torment him. The child closes in himself, loses confidence in the people around him. In the future, all this leads to problems in building relationships. Another negative consequence is low self-esteem. For example, peers may call a child at school scary, stupid. With such thoughts about himself, he grows in the future.
Classification of the problem into forms
What can be considered psychological abuse of a child? Specialists identify several forms of this problem. Here are the main ones:
- Degradation. In this form, children or adults act on a particular child with rude words, curses, call names, make fun of him in front of other people.
- Ignoring This form of violence is most often observed by adults - parents. They do not pay attention to their child, are not interested in his successes, achievements. He does not feel affection, care, love. Naturally, such an attitude depresses the child.
- Repulsion. This feature of behavior is manifested in the fact that parents repel their child, constantly chase him away, that is, they make it clear that they do not need him.
- Terrorization With this form of violence, the child is constantly being bullied. They threaten him, make demands that are impossible at this age stage.
In various books on parenting, articles on psychological abuse of children, special attention is paid to isolation. This is another form of problem. Its essence lies in various prohibitions (for example, you cannot communicate with peers, go for a walk with them). Sometimes when isolating, parents resort to physical violence in addition to locking a child alone in an apartment, a room, and sometimes even in a closet, beating him if he violates the prohibitions.
Signs of psychological abuse
When a child becomes a victim of psychological violence, this can be guessed from some features of behavior. The following symptoms are observed:
- the child has anxiety, excessive anxiety;
- disturbed appetite;
- the condition seems depressed;
- self-esteem is reduced;
- a minor avoids peers, adults, seeks solitude;
- sometimes due to psychological violence, the child has such a character trait as aggressiveness;
- negative emotions disturb sleep;
- the child begins to pay less attention to school, gets poor grades at school;
- constant threats, insults, bullying by peers or adults lead to suicide attempts.
Already in childhood, due to psychological violence, health problems arise. Physical and mental development is delayed, enuresis, nervous tic, obesity occur. Emotional abuse affects the brain. This ultimately causes a predisposition to various diseases:
- to coronary heart disease;
- chronic fatigue syndrome;
- oncological diseases, etc.
Domestic violence and advice to parents
Psychological violence in the family over a child happens for various reasons. Firstly, parents may simply not love their child. This is terrifying. This reason just does not fit into the head. How can you not love your own child, because he is the future of parents. Talking with moms and dads who use violence is required. Relatives are also needed. If parents do not change their minds, then the child is best to live, for example, with his grandmother.
Another common reason is requirements for the child. It is important to remember that you cannot force another person to do something. Requirements that are not feasible or that the child does not like can suppress the will, cause a depressed state.
The Commandments of the Wise Parents
There are 4 commandments of wise parents. They can help to avoid psychological abuse of the child, because not always mothers and fathers realize that their upbringing is wrong and leads to negative consequences. First, never try to make the best of your child. Not all people are the same. Each person is endowed with certain abilities and capabilities.
Secondly, do not compare your child with other children, do not blame him for not achieving something, like some of his classmates.
Thirdly, do not threaten the child, do not blackmail him. Otherwise, you will cause him only fear, shame. Your child may think that you simply do not love him.
Fourth, do not find out the relationship with the child under witnesses, even if he did something. Better discuss the problem at home, find out the reason. If you behave incorrectly, shame the child, but remember that everything should be a measure.
Problem at school
Absolutely any child can become a victim of school bullying. The likelihood of such a thing is significantly increased if he is calm, not too active and sociable. Class abusers, aggressive children who have found a victim for self-affirmation, or who seek to always be in the spotlight, can be its offenders.
A child will always tell about psychological abuse if he trusts his parents. With a secretive nature, lack of trust in the family, the opposite situation is observed. The child does not share his feelings and problems with anyone. It is possible to guess that he became a victim of psychological violence at school. The presence of this problem is indicated by the following nuances:
- the child does not want to go to school;
- he does not talk about his classmates;
- his things are sometimes torn or soiled;
- the child returns home after school in a depressed state.
What to do if a child is abused while studying
Psychological abuse of children at school is a problem that should be addressed by parents together with the class teacher. The teacher, as a rule, is aware of everything that happens in the classroom. You can also talk with moms and dads of offenders. If a minor has been a victim of violence for a long time, then the best way would be to change the school or temporary transfer to home schooling.
If the child does not want to move to another school, then parents should give him some advice on how to deal with ridicule and insult:
- First of all, it must be said that the problems exist not among those who are teased, but among those who are engaged in similar activities;
- an effective way to deal with offenders is to show them that their unpleasant words do not hurt or upset at all;
- in response to the insults of the offenders, you can simply laugh (if you demonstrate such behavior each time, then after a while your peers will simply become uninteresting to “poison” their victim).
Responsibility for Violence
Psychological abuse is punishable. For example, at school, a teacher or principal can talk with offenders, make a comment, shame them. It is extremely unpleasant to be in such a situation. Such actions often suppress further insults and bullying.
Psychological domestic violence is also punished. Responsibility is established in the Family Code, the Criminal Code. The Russian Family Code states that education methods must exclude cruel, neglect, abuse, and exploitation. In violation of this norm, it is possible to remove a child from the family by the guardianship and trusteeship body in case of a threat to life and health, deprivation of parental rights. But how to prove psychological abuse of a child? This problem is solved by the presence of witnesses, the conclusion of a psychologist.
The situation is very scary in which the emotional impact leads to beatings and murder. Psychological and physical abuse of a child resulting in death is a crime for which criminal liability is provided.
Education is the most difficult thing in the world. It is very important in this process not to resort to violence, listen carefully to the child, respect his opinion, share interests, help make decisions, teach him to listen to other people and seek compromises. It is also important to protect your child from the negative impact of others. If all this is observed, then the child will grow and develop in a favorable environment.