How often do we have to deal with stereotypes in life? Yes, almost every day, every hour. They are in our thoughts, in our knowledge, in the manner of behavior and attitudes - both of those around us and of ourselves.
What have we been taught since childhood? Correctly play your part. They tell us:
“a real man does not cry,” “a true woman must take care of herself, about her house, about her husband, about her children” ... And we find ourselves in the grip of other people's ideas from an early age.
Remember how often there is simply no strength after a working day, having done the necessary chores around the house, and also to do the affairs of loved ones. I don’t feel like getting up early in the morning, while everyone else is sleeping, and preparing breakfast for the whole family, because the “real woman” does this ... We strive to take on as much as possible, we want to justify the Nekrasov “stopping the horse,” and while we need to be fragile and defenseless. After all, how many times have you heard - from mom, mother-in-law, husband: a real woman is a gentle and loving creature, the keeper of the hearth, eternal femininity, and so on and so forth ...
And we begin to choke in other people's ideas. Indeed, the presence of opposite requirements - “be strong” and “be weak”, “know how to stand on your own feet” and “rely on your husband” - splits consciousness. This, at best, threatens us with a serious neurosis. At worst, it leads to a split in families, to
female alcoholism, to pathological relationships. Let's look at the situation of women in modern society objectively. At least try.
If 100-150 years ago, the main business was raising children and maintaining a home, now the responsibilities that society imposes on a woman have not diminished. Rather, the opposite. Indeed, now she is expected from her that a “real woman” should be well-groomed, educated, professionally trained, independent. What about the family? How often is there a conflict of attitudes? Continuously ... Take, for example, a situation in which a family of parents valued education and career. "Real woman" must choose a calling, get a diploma, engage in science.
But in the husband’s family, on the contrary, the mother-in-law is used to a different way. For her, a “real woman” is one who serves her son, provides all his needs, while forgetting about herself. What happens to the psyche if a person gets into a situation of such
cognitive dissonance? She is failing. And a woman cannot understand what her relatives really expect from her. And just how hostile and condemning the environment may be - at work, in the yard, in kindergarten, where we take children ... If we are afraid of our own complexes and problems, the easiest way is to find them from others and condemn them. “What kind of mother is this,” “look how she dressed up,” “she would just sit at home,” or “she only thinks about work and thinks” —How often you hear such gossip ...
We absorb other people's stereotypes involuntarily, subconsciously. But if we can only look into ourselves, know our souls, we will understand how connected our thinking is, how free we are from blinkers in our eyes. And if we still have a strong love of life, a desire for self-realization, we can remove them. And to understand that in reality a real woman is one who knows how to be happy and free. And that she owes nothing to anyone. She came to this world to live her own - unique - life. And not to be an “ideal couple”, “a better mother”, or “an obedient daughter” .... Only by realizing this can we learn to accept ourselves - and, therefore, others - as we or they are.