Parenting requires a lot of effort and time. Every mom and dad dream of their child growing up healthy, strong and smart. Ideally, they want to raise socially active children who will make contact with their peers and be able to express their dissatisfaction. But not all children do it. And what if the baby does not speak well, is afraid of other children and animals? Where to walk with a child, how to develop his abilities? Let's try to figure it out.
Possible reasons
If your baby does not like to be in crowded places, does not tolerate noise and companies, this does not mean that he is not like everyone else. Sometimes children want to play themselves, but parents must influence their child. To give his thoughts and actions the right direction.
If a child (2 years old) is afraid of children, this does not mean that he is autistic or abnormal. This may indicate that other children offended the baby. He might simply not understand what happened, but remember this and not want this situation to happen again. Almost all children remember well the mistakes of the first bad experience. It is not surprising that they do not want to experience negative emotions again. It is unlikely that your child just like that, for no apparent reason, protects itself from other children.
All actions of a child speak about situations in which he has been. Children who rarely make contact with their peers can be very attached to their mother and rarely go out into society. Because of these moments, the baby does not know how to behave, and is not friends with children.
Norms for children at 2 years
Initially, you should understand the standards for children aged 2 years. If your baby does not perform all the actions that are described, or does not say all the words, do not despair. Perhaps you simply did not try to talk with him in his language, and the help of a child psychologist would not be useful at all. Just spend more time with your child.
Motility and physical development:
- walks up and down stairs. May rest on railing or asks for an adult's hand;
- steps over obstacles;
- running
- stands on a stand;
- catches and throws the ball;
- plays children's outdoor games;
- draws lines and circles / ovals;
- able to bend down to raise an object;
- controls facial expressions: folds lips into a tube, draws cheekbones;
- kicks the ball.
Communication and words:
- studying children on the playground, trying to interact with them,
- can speak single words and ask questions,
- playing hide and seek
- copies adults
- asks for help
- understands some everyday concepts
- shows how old, calls a name.
Hygiene and life:
- eats and drinks on his own,
- he brushes his teeth
- goes to the potty
- takes off and puts on cowards
- able to take off and put on shoes with a light fastener.
This short list refers to child development standards at 2 years. Each baby is individual, some perform all of the above and even more, and some do not. Look at the development of your baby and do not miss the moment when you can interest him. Some parents teach all of these procedures for the child to go to kindergarten. Children 2 years old are usually taken to the kindergarten, if there are no other conditions of education.
Why should children be social?
Modern parents in the age of latest technology completely forget about simple truths. Our ancestors also shared their experience and knowledge about the development of children, not only in educational activities, but mainly through games. The famous "Magpie-white-sided", "Ladushki", "Geese-Geese" and other games are undeservedly forgotten. Although thanks to them it is possible to develop not only fine motor skills, but also thinking, memory and perseverance.
Many children do not know how to properly contact their peers. The problem comes from childhood, such people, even in old age, often cannot properly express their desires.
Adults set a framework for communication and want their children to respond to these actions. But it is worthwhile to understand that each child has his own knowledge of the world, each kid is independently able to learn how to contact with other children, communicate, play and even solve conflicts. Therefore, do not try to express your point of view when it is inappropriate. A playground in the yard is a great place for kids to chat.
Narrow circle of friends
In fact, the mother herself is more dependent on the child than he is on her. This psychological trap is often confusing and misleading. If a child constantly spends time only with mom, dad or grandmother, then the illusion arises that there is no need for other people. Therefore, appearing on the street, a child (2 years old) is afraid of children or shuns, does not make contact.
There is an opinion that if a baby sees a limited circle of people, then in society he can behave aggressively. This is not because he has such a character, it all stems from the fact that he has no idea how to communicate in an extended circle. Due to the fact that the child constantly spends time with adults, it is easier for him to contact with them than with peers. Arranging children's activities, you (and your baby) will enjoy the process.
Parent Actions
- Expand your social circle, not only yours, but also your child.
- Change the environment.
- Make friends with families - the more people, the better.
- Play more children’s outdoor games in the company of your baby’s peers.
- Be interested in activities with the children themselves.
- Praise your child more often.
- First, give easy tasks, then more difficult ones. After the baby copes with the first, say that he can, you just need to think.
- Teach your child the game first, then ask him to play.
Hedgehog Gauntlets
Children who are raised in severity have more communication problems than children who are praised. Such a child will always have a framework, try to please. Although in almost all cases, such requirements for children are too high. Because of this, the child withdraws into himself, because it is easier to remain alone with your thoughts, where they will not scold you, they will not demand you and you will not be constantly not as good as you should.
It is not for nothing that it is believed that children feel everything, and, accordingly, if your child (2 years old) is afraid of children, then he is simply not self-confident and anxious. With such a baby, children will behave coldly or rudely, to which the child will not respond, because at home this is a normal reaction to his actions.
With a low self-esteem of the child, his anxiety and self-doubt increase. Such children often say that they cannot do anything. This means that the child is afraid of other children and needs your help. He does not know how to ask you and not to be refused. He is not confident in his abilities, although he would very much like to try.
Early autism
The most difficult case of a contactless child is childhood autism. The playground in the yard does not cause joy, the child is enclosed in himself and is very convenient for parents. Such children can move objects sitting in one place for an hour. Modern medicine diagnoses such cases in the first year of a baby's life.
Signs of Early Autism
- Since infancy, the child does not experience the joy of communicating with family and mother.
- When picked up, he does not seek to touch an adult or hug.
- Does not look into the eyes.
- Repeats many times the same phrase, movement, action. Such children develop late speech.
- Autistic children tiptoe or skip around with a thoughtful and aloof expression.
If you suspect that the child may be sick, then consult a specialist. Timely detection of the disease is half the work on it. After research, the doctor will say whether the baby is healthy or sick.
If, nevertheless, your baby suffers from autism, then start with small home assignments that he is able to carry out on his own. Children's outdoor games will help you in developing interest in communication. Get pets, they very well help the child to realize responsibility and adapt to the world around.
Communication among children
Many children show their first reaction to peers in the form of aggression. This is not an alarming indicator, but a peculiar method of studying other children and the world. In such games, they can realize where is “mine” and where is “alien”. Aggression is a primitive way of interacting with other children. You can call it the first level of acquaintance.
Children are very sensitive, they are able to catch emotions and attitude towards themselves. But for the child to get used to communication and outgrow fear and aggression, he must feel the constant support of his mother. Over time, his behavior will change, but for now, mother must prevent conflicts, attend children's events.
For example, a child (2 years old) is afraid of children because a toy in a sandbox was taken from him. When they try to take his toy from your baby, and he is against it, you should ask the offender: "And my daughter does not mind that you play?" - or: "First ask Katya, then take it." This is necessary so that the child feels protection on your part and can defend his desires. After all, he is also a person, and his desires and protests must be respected. As time passes, your baby will begin to explain his rights to the children.
If you see that your baby is simply offended from scratch, do not stand aside. Tell the offender in a strict tone that you cannot do this. This is bad! It is unlikely that he will want to continue, but if this does not work, then take aside the bad child. Before the baby reaches the age of 3 years, you should completely protect him if he himself can not cope. At an older age, children understand what is possible and what is not, they perfectly remember how their mother supported them, and independently defend their point of view.