It can be safely stated that the question of how to marry the man of your dreams torments most of the female population. It does not matter how popular free relationships, rejection of conventions and civil marriage are today. Be that as it may, marriage remains a recognition of the seriousness of the intentions of both spouses and the ability to take responsibility for their lives.
Rules of relations: ignorance does not exempt
Significant progress that made our life easier today was the absolute voluntariness of marriage. After all, now neither the decision of the parents, nor the pressure of the national culture, nor even pregnancy can automatically lead to a wedding. In this aspect, a man’s desire to tie his destiny with his beloved woman is doubly valuable.
However, such freedom, like many attractive things, has a flip side. Many girls feel a little bewildered, having lost guidance in the form of traditional norms of behavior and not having the opportunity to rely on the advice and guidance of representatives of previous generations. It would seem that everything has become simpler, but this is not so: everything has become different. The rules of the game in relationships have changed, and you need to know them in order to win, and not slide into the margins of public life.
One can argue with the statement that the natural course of development of relations between men and women needs to be adjusted, but this is not about a passionate resort romance. A long-term partnership is at stake here, it is this word that serves as an excellent synonym for marriage.
To understand the nature of their desires and the principles of male psychology, girls and women need the help of experienced advisers. For more than 20 years, this duty has been successfully carried out by Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider, who wrote the famous book “Rules. How to marry the man of your dreams. "
Who are the rules for?
First of all, this book is worth reading to girls who seek to create a family. According to the authors themselves, their rules are intended to help build long-term, full-fledged and strong relationships. If a girl hesitates about her goals or prefers a simpler model of relations with men, she does not need to follow the recommendations made.
Ellen Fein's rules were developed after years of studying and analyzing the lives of many women. Based on the information received during the study, the writer formulated 35 points, which in extremely clear form formulate instructions for behavior for girls.
High efficiency
Despite the fact that the book was written and published back in 1995, its relevance is not reduced. Moreover, the rules of Ellen Fane are verified by a large number of women who read her work. Reviews insist that the rules work.
The book has been translated into foreign languages ​​and has survived a huge number of publications. Almost all major American publications wrote reviews of it, and authors are regularly invited as guests to various television shows.
Understanding the principles and patterns of relations between men and women, the authors helped celebrities such as Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce, Blake Lovely, Kate Middleton and others. Quotes from the book and Ellen Fane’s rules are often heard at Oprah’s studio.
Sherry Schneider and her partner twice became invited guests of this popular TV presenter.
The main point of the recommendations
If you try to squeeze the meaning of the whole book in one phrase, it would sound like advice for the fairer sex: "Do not lose your head, find your strengths and show them to a man." In this case, the decisive role belongs to the call not to succumb to their weaknesses and not to turn a man into a girlfriend. Ellen Fein's rules are based on the fact that strong men (after all, these become the best husbands) are hunters by nature. The conquest is in their blood, and they are not interested in the prey that arrives before they set off in search of it.
Everyone has a role
The book "Rules. How to marry the man of your dreams ”helps women to become“ coveted prey ”and properly organize the process of“ hunting ”. Indeed, worthy men choose for themselves only the best representatives from their environment and make every effort to attract their attention. The process of conquering and overcoming obstacles for men is extremely important, as it gives the goal priority, value and significance. Women whom this philosophy is alien to, scare potential husbands precisely by excluding the element of gain in relationships or trying to make it easier for their chosen ones. The book "Rules" exposes this and other similar errors of female psychology and offers concrete measures to avoid them.
Categorical and strict rules
Some readers complain that the rules are too strict, and sticking to them is quite difficult. The answer may be advice to review priorities and find motivation. After all, the rules of Ellen Fane are written for those who are set up for a serious relationship. This does not imply a couple of years of coexistence on a common living space.
This is a partnership for decades. Clarification! On a full-fledged partnership: mutual respect, mutual development, financial well-being, harmonious sex life, the birth and upbringing of children, and maintaining interest in each other in the future. This is hard work, as it is much easier to give up and go with the flow, and the deplorable results of this behavior are well known to many.
How to create an image of an interesting woman
The book "Rules" does not call for lying and trying to introduce yourself as a different person, it recommends understanding yourself, finding and correctly presenting your advantages. The main idea is to maintain a certain tension, understatement between a man and a woman. Many recommendations are devoted to how to properly maintain the required distance. For example, rule 3 primarily teaches you not to spend effort on someone who is not interested. But this is almost the most common female mistake.
Among other things (a moderate manifestation of wit, good mood and elementary politeness), the most important advice is to be easy to communicate and not become a problem for a man. Rule 3 and others set forth in the book appeal to those women who, right off the bat, are mistaken for describing their hardships and problems.
Writers propose limiting telephone conversations to ten-minute conversations, and the number of meetings to three per week.
All these seemingly tough recommendations are designed to form an image of an interesting, active, educated, constantly busy, and demanded woman. According to the authors, successful men want to see their wives just like that .
Is there life after the wedding
Taking advantage of well-deserved popularity and receiving many letters, Ellen and Sherry got the opportunity to analyze a huge number of real stories. On their basis, a second book was written entitled "The Rules of the Smart Wife."
The writers drew attention to the fact that their readers, applying the method and rules described earlier, were able to get engaged or get married. However, at this stage there were even more questions. How to behave with the groom and husband? Is it possible to relax and stop following strict rules? How not to make mistakes and not spoil what has already been built?
These aspects are covered in the new book. It is intended for young wives and is aimed at maintaining interest in a woman’s personality in a changing environment.