There are things that need to be talked about, albeit awkwardly. For example, childish masturbation. Many parents are left alone with this supposedly shameful problem of the child and begin to fight this phenomenon as they know how. They make mistakes along the way, and masturbation only gets worse. Others study books and related articles and seek useful advice. What to do?
Masturbation or studying your body?
Here the boy is changing the diaper, and at that moment he pulled himself by the penis. Is it considered masturbation? Children get to know not only the world around them, but also their own bodies. But if from the very early infancy interest in all “decent” parts of the body is encouraged and the baby is asked to show again and again where it has eyes and ears, then any interest in the genitals causes concern for the parents. Meanwhile, they are interesting to the baby in the same way as, for example, arms and legs. Nevertheless, there is a difference. The genitals are penetrated by a rich network of nerve endings and have an increased sensitivity, and touching them is usually pleasant. Children can get acquainted with these sensations, both by studying themselves and later taking an example from peers, and quite by accident. For example, with constipation, blood due to tension, blood rushes not only to the anus, but also to the genitals. Close, narrow clothes, thermal underwear can have the same effect. Overly thorough hygienic procedures can cause pleasant sensations.
Children's masturbation in boys is more common due to the structure of their genitals, but in girls this phenomenon also happens.
Masturbation and sexuality
Many parents worry because they associate attention to the genitals with the early development of sexuality. They paint for themselves pictures of early sexual intercourse and, if it is a girl, pregnancy, as well as an asocial lifestyle, sexual deviations. You should not panic. Childhood masturbation is a very common occurrence. But the cause of early sexual relations or the development of deviations, it is extremely rare. Usually these phenomena have completely different reasons that relate to the problems of the child's social adaptation. Especially if there was a child's masturbation at the age of 3 to 5 years. Pleasant bodily sensations are not yet associated with attraction to the opposite sex, so this habit is almost similar to sucking a finger, scratching your heels and other stimulations of sensitive places on the body.
Masturbation and neurosis
First, you need to try to distract the child. If he is easily distracted from this process, you should not sound the alarm. Another thing is, if it is difficult to distract the child and masturbation absorbs him strongly, we can talk about neurosis. Changes in the behavior and condition of the child should also be alert. If he began to sleep worse, be more capricious, cry, suffer from fears, become nervous and aggressive, he has problems. You can contact a neurologist. In addition, most often children engage in masturbation secretly, but sometimes it happens that the child does it in public. This suggests that either he can not control himself, or deliberately provokes adults to a negative reaction. Both that and another speaks that the child is ill. In the first case, masturbation can be a symptom of a neurosis and be considered an obsessive effect. In the second, the child has a clear problem in relationships with others, primarily parents. It is known that children who lack attention are ready to receive it at all costs. For example, shouting, swearing and even corporal punishment are better for them than indifference. Therefore, when usually they simply are not noticed, they climb into trouble and provoke aggression.
How to respond
First of all, respond calmly. As you understand, nothing criminal is happening before your eyes. And if we are talking about neurosis, then child masturbation is not a cause, but a consequence. You need to distract the child, but to show your horror or anger is not worth it. In general, this habit should deserve as little of your attention as possible. Let the child not think that he is doing something special and terrible. Children who are inclined to provoke adults will only be criticized for this. More quiet and fearful children will begin to consider themselves bad, their self-esteem will drop. A person can endure from childhood the attitude to sex and sexuality as something dirty, shameful and then have problems in relationships, and not accept his genitals as part of himself. All these problems can be combined in one child, and they are not always clearly visible.
It is important to create a calm environment. There should be no verbal and especially physical aggression. Think about what could cause stress in your child. Indeed, very often children in this way calm themselves. You can try to keep a diary, and then analyze what events were on the day when the child masturbated. Was the regimen violated, was the baby too overloaded, or, conversely, was bored with boredom. This will help to correct the child’s lifestyle: in one case, reduce the load, in the other, on the contrary, increase.
Masturbation and itching
One of the causes of childhood masturbation may be irritation in the genital area. The child experiences itching and begins to scratch the perineum. This process gives him pleasure, and he begins to call it again and again. The cause of the itch may be uncomfortable clothing, but there may be some diseases. In childhood masturbation, children are usually tested for worms and inflammation. In addition, irritation can be caused by food allergies, so some doctors in this case advise you to limit especially allergenic foods, such as citrus fruits, chocolate. Sometimes a child’s overfeeding can also cause such a reaction, but in this case the reason is psychological - when the food stops giving pleasure, the baby is looking for another source.
Treatment of masturbation in children
Sometimes doctors prescribe medication for childhood masturbation, but more often it is enough to normalize the psychological situation and regimen. In the presence of neurosis or diseases such as worms, inflammatory processes or allergies, the disease itself is subject to treatment. In the meantime, it’s important to tidy up the baby’s diet and not overfeed him.
Try to give him more time, as a habit is often formed from a lack of affection and attention. He should spend more time outdoors and communicate more often with friends.