Getting into the business environment of communication, wondering about raising a child, participating in a cultural event, inviting friends to visit, meeting ordinary people, sellers, bus drivers, during the day, one way or another, we get involved in the communication process. Many etiquette books have been written, describing many rules. Let's look at the main ones.
Tact
The ability to be considerate is very important in communicating with other people. Tact is a kind of sense of proportion, based more on intuition and the ability of the brain to quickly analyze the situation. A person feels and realizes when and what he can say, and vice versa. Or presents his proposal, decision, point of view, advice in such a way as not to offend the feelings of another person.
The sense of tact cannot be innate, it has been put into the childās head for years in childhood and youth, and then it automatically works in the right situation. Therefore, raising a child, it is important for parents to familiarize themselves with books on etiquette for children. If at a young age information about the correct behavior passed by - no big deal. Any person is able to develop tact by reading and applying in practice tips from books on etiquette.
Rules of tact
The basic rules of tact include:
- It is forbidden to abruptly refuse the topic of conversation, it does not matter if you understand it or not.
- It is forbidden to bring into discussion a situation or memories of the past that can hurt the feelings of another, regardless of whether he is present during the conversation.
- Etiquette books prohibit making fun of someone, lying, making inappropriate jokes, talking about health problems or dysfunctional situations occurring in the family, complaining about the wife / husband, making family troubles and misunderstandings for discussion with friends.
- You must always be sure of the accuracy of the information that you state.
- Be moderately friendly and helpful.
- To be moderately curious, leaving untouched the private space of another person (reading other people's correspondence, eavesdropping, peeping is forbidden).
- If something happened to the acquaintance with the appearance (mascara leaked, clothes torn), tell him quietly so that others would not hear.
- The rules of good form include the ability to always control your emotions, regardless of the situation. It is forbidden to abruptly leave, to ignore those present. If the interlocutor is imposed on you and does not like, answer briefly, but politely.
- Before you come to visit, you need to agree on this in advance.
- Watch your appearance, dress with taste: elegant, but reserved.
Preference rule
The etiquette encyclopedia includes several more rules besides tact. For example, the rule of preference. Women have an advantage over men, older ones over young ones, patients over healthy ones, bosses over subordinates, and so on.
This works both in greeting and in case you need to give way or place in public transport. In addition, there is an unspoken rule: if a woman, a man, an elderly person came with a small child, they are in a preferential line and pass first.
There is a slight deviation from the norm in books on etiquette. Faced at the door, if the conversation with an apology dragged on, the one who first receives a double offer should go forward.
The rule of male courtesy
When visiting a theater or restaurant with a woman, a man should help her take off and put on her outer clothing, provide her with the means of transportation, quick service, and safe return home. A man should climb stairs after a woman, and descend first, this gives him the opportunity to help the lady if necessary.
General rules
According to the rules of good form, there are a few other mandatory rules:
- It is forbidden to dry an umbrella at a party or at work.
- Only small handbags are allowed on a table or chair.
- Always offer help and give thanks for the offer of help, it does not matter if you agreed to accept it or not.
- Always monitor your posture, gait.
- It is forbidden to shout down the interlocutor, raise the voice.
- You can not sit indoors in outerwear, but it is allowed to cover her shoulders.
- It is forbidden to blow your nose in public, you need to move to a deserted place and quietly blow your nose using a clean scarf.
- Mild gestures are required. You canāt push, grab a manās hand, slap on any part of the body, your own or someone elseās, wave your arms, swing your legs. One must always remain calm.
- If you leave a family dinner or meeting, you donāt need to say farewell words aloud to everyone, just nod to those present.
- It is forbidden to scratch the scalp, to pick a finger in the nose or ears.
- When attending a cultural event, such as a theater, before you sit down in your place, you need to bow to your neighbors.
- If you were invited to visit, it is important to say hello to the mistress of the house first, then to the landlord, all the others are sorted by age from large to small.
- Total jewelry on the body and clothing should be no more than thirteen. This number includes cufflinks, buttons, tie clips.
Etiquette and mood
What to read about etiquette, in particular about mood? There are many books that will help restore peace of mind. The authors advise: even if you are in a bad mood, upset by something or angry, do not show it in public. For people around you, you must be restrained and welcoming. In addition, smiling, you cheer yourself up.
Rules for men
In addition to the above, in etiquette books there are additional recommendations for men:
- The oldest man holding the position of chief with female employees should say hello first.
- Always be clean-shaven.
- Monitor the cleanliness of the nails, cut them briefly;
- Watch the hairstyle. Ideally, visit a hairdresser twice a month so that a new haircut is not noticeable.
The issue of compliance with the rules of good form is very relevant today. Each generation brings up a new one, and it, in turn, learns by observing the behavior of elders. Books on etiquette by authors Elena Vos, Anatoly Balakai, Dave Collins, Goldin will help to control their behavior and communication, and Dmitrievās Alphabet of Etiquette is good for kids.