Each parent is familiar with children's hysteria: some observe it less often, others more often. This behavior of the child is a real test for mothers, fathers, grandparents. Especially if a scandal occurs in a public place, and people have to watch this unpleasant picture. But in fact, quite often there are tantrums in a child. 2 years is a turning point.
The age from one year to three years differs in that enormous changes are taking place in the baby’s life: he receives new knowledge, learns to speak, understands everything and knows how to do a lot. But, despite this, some things remain inaccessible for the child, and he cannot get them on his own. Therefore, each rejection is perceived very sharply and painfully, and the baby shows emotions through tantrums.
During this period, the child can be overly stubborn and do the opposite, and his character becomes simply unrecognizable: from an obedient and kind baby, he turns into a crying whim.
Tantrums - this is the stage of development of the child
This conclusion was made by children's psychologists. Children learn self-control, but at the age of 2, it is difficult for a child to restrain his anger and aggression, and they cannot yet express feelings with words. After three years, when the baby learns to express his emotions verbally, tantrums should decline.
Sometimes parents complain that the child is naughty and makes scandals only in the presence of parents. This may be due to the fact that the baby checks the boundaries of what is permitted, but is not ready to show his feelings to those people whom he does not trust.
The causes of tantrums can be elementary little things that are almost impossible to predict. But psychologists identify a number of factors that provoke children's tantrums.
Anxiety or illness
A small child can not always show what exactly it hurts. Moreover, he does not know how to explain to an adult that he is not feeling well. Parents should be vigilant and watch the baby. A sign of malaise may be decreased appetite, excessive irritability, or crying for no apparent reason.
Naturally, a sick child becomes the center of the family, so even after recovery, he may require the same attention to himself. If the parents are sure that the baby feels well and is absolutely healthy, then such manipulations must be "extinguished" and not give in.
Fight for attention
Often, due to a lack of parental attention, tantrums occur in a child. 2 years is a difficult period. To solve the problem, first of all, it is necessary to determine how justified these requirements are. Perhaps this is not just whims, and the baby really considers himself deprived and lonely.
The main task of parents is to find the line when satisfaction ends and selfishness begins. If a baby cries trying to attract attention, but adults are already constantly next to him, you should not follow the little commander’s cry at the very first cry.
Get what you want
Often, because it is impossible to get what you want, there are tantrums in a child. 2 years is the period when the baby wants to get what he wants by any means. This may be a toy you like or unwillingness to leave the site, or something else that you should definitely get here and now.
Parental prohibitions are not always clear to the child, and at times it is very difficult to convey the essence to the baby due to his age. Now for him there are many temptations with which it is incredibly difficult to fight. Therefore, parents should not specifically tempt the baby. It is better to remove from his field of vision all objects that he may like, and not to take him with you to outlets with children's assortment and sweets.
Do not think that the child is still too small and does not understand anything. Children's tantrums are a way to check the verge of what is permissible and to test parents for stress resistance. Therefore, it is necessary to be consistent and unshakable, so that the baby understands that the ban will not be lifted. Contradictory actions confuse the child and encourage him to come up with new tests for adults.
With the baby you need to talk on equal terms and explain to him why his desire cannot be fulfilled now. Over time, the child will understand that the parental “no” is not subject to dispute, and whims in this case are useless.
Authoritarian parenting style and child self-affirmation
In most cases, the child rolls tantrums if he tries to protest his parents. Perhaps authoritarian education does not allow the baby to express himself, so he rebels. Do not forget that children are also people and they need a certain amount of freedom.
The enthusiastic attitude of parents towards the child leads to the fact that the baby becomes blissful to himself, but absolutely intolerant of others. The lack of constant attention causes the child a storm of negative emotions, which find a way out in hysteria.
For children to develop harmoniously, adults must maintain the right balance of guardianship and freedom. When a child is sure that his opinion is appreciated and respected, it will be easier to accept bans.
Whims for no reason
Sometimes they happen without a cause of hysteria in a child. 2 years is the age when the baby cannot explain why he was upset. To understand the situation, parents must analyze the latest developments. Perhaps the family has a tense atmosphere or the baby just did not get enough sleep. All people have a different character and individual characteristics, so all children react in their own way to what is happening.
How to avoid tantrums?
Parents who have a 2-year-old child know that they will not be able to completely avoid tantrums, but measures can be taken to reduce the consequences.
Key recommendations:
- The kid should get enough sleep.
- It is necessary to observe the daily routine.
- You should not plan the day so that the child receives a large number of new experiences. If this is inevitable, then care should be taken to entertain the baby.
- You need to teach children to express their feelings. It is necessary to gently prompt them how to do it correctly, and help them choose words.
- If possible, the child should be given the right to choose at least in those matters that are not fundamental.
- All changes in the daily routine must be warned in advance, for example, five minutes before lunch, the baby needs to be informed that he will eat soon.
If the tantrum has already begun ...
Many parents ask themselves: is the child hysterical - what should I do? First of all, you need to remember that you can not threaten the baby with punishment if he is hysterical. In this case, the child will accumulate aggression and resentment, which destroy his psychological health and provoke new scandals. Adults should behave calmly and confidently, expressing understanding. Over time, children learn to control their emotions and monitor their behavior.
But you should not in every possible way appease and encourage the child only so that he calms down. This will give him confidence that you can behave this way in order to get what you want. No need to explain something to the baby at the time of screaming and crying, it is unlikely that he will learn the words addressed to him. Better to wait until he calms down.
If tantrums are often observed in a child, Komarovsky advises parents to learn to say no. The decision made cannot be changed or softened so that the baby does not begin to manipulate adults. Indulging children's whims will lead to the loss of what is permitted, so the baby will look for them with new tenacity.
Until the child calms down, it is necessary to speak quietly but firmly. You should argue your position and give reasons that will be clear to the baby at his age.
Compromise
In the event that the child wakes up with a tantrum, you should make sure that his sleep was full and long enough. Perhaps you should put him to bed a little earlier. But this behavior can be observed due to the excitable nervous system and the individual characteristics of the baby. Parents can try to make the morning more pleasant and calm, leaving the child to decide for himself what to eat for breakfast: unloved porridge or delicious cottage cheese. Sometimes compromises work wonders, in addition, the child learns to negotiate and yield.