Human speech is a very important characterological feature, it can be used to determine not only the level of education, but also the degree of responsibility and discipline. Speech betrays his attitude to other people, himself, his business. Therefore, any person who wants to achieve success in communicating with other people needs to work on his speech. The rules of speech etiquette, the brief contents of which each of us learns in childhood, contribute to a better understanding between people and help to establish relationships.
The concept of speech etiquette
Etiquette is a set of norms and rules of behavior, it is usually an unwritten code that every person learns with culture. Compliance with the rules of speech etiquette is usually no one requires to execute in an order or in writing, but they are mandatory for anyone who wants to establish relationships with other people. Speech etiquette prescribes the desired verbal presentation of typical communication situations. Nobody came up with these rules intentionally, they were formed in the course of human communication for millennia. Each etiquette formula has its own roots, functions and options. Speech etiquette, etiquette rules are a sign of a well-mannered and polite person and subconsciously set up for a positive perception of the person using them.
History of occurrence
The word "etiquette" in the French language came from Greece. Etymologically, it goes back to the root, meaning order, rule. In France, the word was used to designate a special card on which the rules of seating and behavior at the royal table were spelled out. But in the time of Louis the Fourteenth, the very phenomenon of etiquette, of course, does not arise, it has a much more ancient origin. The rules of speech etiquette, the brief content of which can be described with the phrase “successful communication”, begin to form when people had to learn to establish relationships and negotiate with each other. Already in ancient times, there were rules of conduct that helped interlocutors overcome mutual distrust and establish interaction. So, the code of good conduct is described in the texts of the ancient Greeks, Egyptians. The ancient rules of etiquette were a kind of ritual that told the interlocutors that they were “of the same blood”, that they were not a threat. Each ritual had a verbal and non-verbal component. Gradually, the original meaning of many actions is lost, but the ritual and its verbal design is preserved and continues to be reproduced.
The functions of speech etiquette
A modern person often raises the question of why the rules of speech etiquette are needed? You can briefly answer - to please other people. The main function of speech etiquette is to establish contact. When the interlocutor observes the general rules, this makes him more understandable and predictable, we subconsciously trust more of what is familiar to us. This has been going on since primitive times, when the world around was very unwarranted and threatened everywhere, observance of rituals was then extremely important. And when the communication partner performed a familiar set of actions, spoke the right words, this removed part of the distrust and made contact easier. Today, our gene memory also tells us that you can trust a person who follows the rules. Rules and norms of speech etiquette perform the function of forming a positive emotional atmosphere, help to have a beneficial effect on the interlocutor. Speech etiquette also acts as a means of demonstrating respect for the interlocutor, helps to emphasize the status distribution of roles between communicants and the status of the communication situation itself - business, informal, friendly. Thus, the rules of speech etiquette are a tool for conflict prevention. Part of the tension is removed by simple etiquette formulas. Speech etiquette as a formal part of ethics has a regulatory function, it helps to establish contacts, affects the behavior of people in typical situations.
Types of speech etiquette
Like any speech, etiquette speech behavior is very different in its written and oral form. The written variety has stricter rules, and in this form etiquette formulas are more mandatory. The oral form is more democratic, here some omissions or replacement of words with action are allowed. For example, sometimes instead of the word "Hello", you can do with a nod of the head or a slight bow.
Etiquette dictates rules of conduct in certain areas and situations. It is customary to distinguish several different types of speech etiquette. Official, business or professional speech etiquette defines the rules of speech behavior in the performance of official duties, in negotiations, during paperwork. This species is quite formalized, especially in its written form. The rules of Russian speech etiquette in official and informal settings can differ greatly, the first signal of the transition from one type of etiquette to another can be a change of appeal to “You” to “you”. Everyday speech etiquette is more freedom than official, here there is a great variability of key etiquette formulas. There are also varieties of speech etiquette such as diplomatic, military, and religious.
The principles of modern speech etiquette
Any rules of conduct come from the universal principles of morality, and speech etiquette is no exception. The golden rule of speech etiquette is based on the main moral principle formulated by I. Kant: act in relation to others as you would like to be acted in relation to you. Thus, polite speech should include such formulas that the person himself would be pleased to hear. The basic principles of speech etiquette are relevance, accuracy, brevity and correctness. The speaker must select the speech formulas in accordance with the situation, the status of the interlocutor, the degree of familiarity with him. In any case, you should speak as briefly as possible, but do not lose the meaning of what was said. And, of course, the speaker should respect the communication partner and try to build his statement in accordance with the rules of the Russian language. Speech etiquette is based on two more important principles: friendliness and cooperation. A polite person refers to other people with an initial orientation to good, he must be sincere and friendly. The communicants must do everything on both sides so that communication is productive, mutually beneficial and enjoyable for all participants.
Etiquette situations
Etiquette regulates behavior in various situations. Traditionally, speech varies significantly in the official setting and in everyday life, as well as in different forms of one’s existence: in written or spoken. However, there are general rules of speech etiquette in various speech situations. The list of such cases is the same for all spheres, cultures and forms. Standard label situations include:
- greeting;
- Attraction of attention and appeal;
- performance and acquaintance;
- invitation;
- sentence;
- request;
- advice;
- thanks;
- refusal and consent;
- congratulations;
- condolences;
- sympathy and comfort;
- a compliment.
Each etiquette situation has a stable set of speech formulas that are recommended for use.
National features of etiquette
Speech etiquette is based on universal, universal moral principles. Therefore, its basis is the same in all cultures. Such universal principles that are characteristic of all countries include restraint in the manifestation of emotions, politeness, literacy and the ability to use standard speech formulas that are appropriate for the situation, a positive attitude towards the interlocutor. But the private implementation of universal norms can vary significantly in different national cultures. Variability usually manifests itself in the speech design of a standard situation. The general culture of communication influences national speech etiquette. The rules of etiquette, for example, in the Russian language imply maintaining a conversation even with strangers, if it happened to be with them in a confined space (in a train compartment), while the Japanese and the British will try to remain silent in the same circumstances or speak on the most neutral topics. In order not to get into trouble in communicating with foreigners, one should, in preparation for the meeting, familiarize themselves with their etiquette rules.
Contact Situation
The basic rules of speech etiquette at the beginning of a conversation are related to the speech design of greetings and appeals. For the Russian language, the basic greeting is the word "hello." Its synonyms can be the phrases “I welcome you” with an archaic connotation and “good afternoon, morning, evening” are more soulful compared to the basic wording. The greeting stage is one of the most important in establishing contact, words should be pronounced with sincere intonation, with an attachment of notes of positive emotionality.
Means of attracting attention are the words: “allow / allow me to apply,” “sorry,” “sorry” and adding an explanatory phrase to them: submissions, requests, suggestions.
Appeal situation
Appeal is one of the difficult etiquette situations, as it can be difficult to find the right name for the person you need to contact. In Russian today, the appeal “Mr. / Mrs.” is considered universal, but in speech they still do not always take root well in connection with negative connotations in Soviet times. The best treatment is by first name, middle name or first name, but it is not always possible. Worst case: handling the words “girl”, “woman”, “man”. In a situation of professional communication, you can contact by the name of the person’s position, for example, “Mr. Director.” The general rules of speech etiquette can be briefly described as a desire for the comfort of communicants. An appeal should in no case indicate any personal characteristics of a person (gender, age, nationality, faith).
Contact termination situation
The final stage in communication is also very important, the interlocutors will remember it and you need to try to leave a positive impression. The usual rules of speech etiquette, examples of which we have known since childhood, recommend using the traditional phrases “goodbye”, “see you”, “goodbye” for farewell. However, the final stage should also include words of gratitude for the time spent on communication, possibly for collaboration. You can also express hopes for continued cooperation, say parting words. Speech etiquette, etiquette rules recommend that at the end of contact maintain a favorable impression, create an emotional atmosphere of sincerity and warmth. This is helped by more stable formulas: "it was very nice to talk with you, I hope for further cooperation." But phrased phrases should be pronounced as sincerely and with the feeling that they acquire a true meaning. Otherwise, farewell will not leave the desired emotional response in the memory of the interlocutor.
Rules for submission and dating
The situation of dating requires addressing the issue of treatment. Business communication, contacts with unfamiliar people involve an appeal to “You”. According to the rules of speech etiquette, you can address each other only within the framework of friendly and everyday communication. The presentation is made up of such phrases as “let me introduce you,” “get acquainted, please,” “let me introduce you.” The representative also gives a brief description of the presented: "position, name, place of work or some particularly noteworthy detail." Acquaintances must, in addition to voicing their name, pronounce positive words: “I'm glad to meet you,” “very nice.”
Rules of congratulations and thanks
Modern rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language offer a fairly large assortment of formulas for expressing gratitude. From simple “thank you” and “thank you” to “infinitely grateful” and “very grateful”. It’s taken for a great service or gift to add an additional positive phrase to the words of gratitude, for example, “very nice”, “I am touched”, “you are so kind”. Formulas of congratulations there are extremely many. When composing a congratulation on any occasion, it is worthwhile to think through individual words, in addition to the usual “congratulations,” which would emphasize the peculiarity of the occasion and the person being honored. The text of the congratulation necessarily includes any wishes, it is desirable that they are not stereotyped, but correspond to the personality of the hero of the occasion. Say congratulations should be with a special feeling that will give words great value.
Rules for invitations, offers, requests, consent and refusal
When inviting someone to take part in something, you should also follow the rules of speech etiquette. Situations of invitations, offers and requests are somewhat similar, in them the speaker always slightly reduces the status of his role in communication and emphasizes the importance of the interlocutor. Persistent expressions of the invitation is the phrase “we have the honor to invite”, which emphasizes the special importance of the invitee. For invitations, offers and requests, the words “I ask,” “kindly,” “please,” are used. In the invitation and proposal, you can additionally say about your feelings for the invitee: "we will be happy / happy to see you," "we are pleased to offer you." Request is a situation in which the speaker deliberately reduces his position in communication, but do not go too far with this, the traditional design of the request is the words: “I ask you”, “could you”. Consent and denial require different speech behaviors. If the consent can be extremely concise, then the refusal must be accompanied by mitigating and motivating formulations, for example, "unfortunately, we are forced to refuse your offer, because at the moment ...".
Rules of condolences, sympathy and apology
In dramatic and tragic situations, speech etiquette, etiquette rules recommend expressing only sincere feelings. Usually regret and sympathy should be accompanied by encouraging words, for example, "we sympathize with you in connection ... and sincerely hope that ...". Condolences are brought only on truly tragic occasions, it is also appropriate to tell about your feelings in them, it is worth offering help. For example, “I offer you my sincere condolences in connection with ... this loss caused me bitter feelings. If necessary, you can count on me. ”
Rules of approval and praise
Compliments are an important part of building good relationships; these social strokes are an effective tool for building good relationships. But complimenting is an art. Exaggeration distinguishes them from flattery. A compliment is only a slight exaggeration of the truth. The rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language say that a compliment and praise should always apply to a person, not to things, so the words: “how does this dress suit you” are a violation of etiquette, and the real compliment will be the phrase: “how beautiful you are in this dress". Praising people can and should be for everything: for skills, traits, for performance, for feelings.