So, it is generally accepted in the world that a normal family is necessarily married parents with children. Families in which one parent automatically fall into the category of “inferior”, “incomplete”, or even “dysfunctional” families. I will immediately put forward the opposite opinion.
The number
of family members does not always mean its quality. A strong, happy, prosperous family is a small team where everyone is comfortable. And the presence of parents of both sexes is not at all an indicator of the quality of relationships within her.
Of course, it is extremely difficult for one father or mother raising a child on his own to give children a versatile upbringing. But it is quite affordable! Many mothers who raised wonderful, courageous, selfless sons. And there are dads who helped their daughters grow up as kind and gentle, wonderful housewives and caring mothers. Another question is what it cost them ... But we are not talking about that now.
Many put forward the thesis that a normal, “real” family is a family with children. Again controversial judgment.
For many parents, having children is really necessary in order to feel like a full-fledged family. But there are those who absolutely do not need children, they have a deep feeling for each other, their lives are filled with creativity, work, and self-improvement. And even in old age, these two continue to love each other, support, empathize.
Is anyone entitled to blame them for this? Moreover, not all families with children can boast of mutual understanding and calm friendliness in their small team.
There is another “myth” about
family happiness that I would like to destroy. Most parents put forward such a postulate that a happy family is only one where the children are absolutely healthy.
Of course, looking at the suffering of a loved one is not a test for weak souls. However, enlisting such families in the category of "unfortunate", "dysfunctional" is a huge mistake. I think it’s more important not one of the family members to have any physical disability, but the attitude of everyone else to this person as a person.
An example that confirms my reasoning that there can be a happy family in which there are people with disabilities, and also that the so-called “incomplete” family has the right to be called happy and even ideal, is the story of a mother and son.
The boy was only 8 years old when his mother was paralyzed. She stopped walking, talking, eating and dressing herself. By that time, Papa had already settled in somewhere safely, having completely forgotten both his ex-wife and his son.
Can his departure from the family be called unhappiness? Rather, the misfortune was that his departure occurred too late ... Thus, from a “full-fledged” family with two parents, mother and son moved into the category of “single-parent families”, “dysfunctional”. However, they regarded it differently: only now they have settled happiness and joy, peace and love!
But the experienced hardships of married life, such as beatings, sleepless nights, hard work for a penny that went to the alcoholic husband’s drink, reminded of themselves. Horror eclipsed the light. Mom got sick. They wanted to take the boy to a shelter, separating him from his only family man.
Neighbor intervened. She took custody of the child. And the boy took all the cares of mommy onto his shoulders. At the age of 9, the young man himself washes and feeds his mother from a spoon, takes her out for a walk, puts her in a wheelchair, does a massage, talks and does not stop confessing her love and kissing her hands.
Family is a kingdom ruled by Love! Mom learned to stand, said the first phrase after a terrible day, dividing life into "before" and "after". These were the words: "I ... love you ..."
One correspondent found out about them, prepared a report. Television contributed to the fact that the whole country found out about the boy - a real hero, a man with a capital letter, a courageous and unbending personality with a huge loving heart, with great strength of mind. Today, influential people drew attention to them, and mom is preparing for an operation, which, according to doctors, will definitely help her, since progress is evident.
This is a true family, a right family, a real family. And it doesn’t matter how many children are in it, whether all parents are engaged in raising offspring, whether there is wealth, whether everyone is healthy - this is the family, and not the notorious “cell” listed on paper.
And the last myth about which family should be considered young. Today introduced age criteria for benefits in obtaining housing for "young families". You can only enter the line until one of the spouses is 36 years old. I think this is wrong.
A young family is a family that was formed no earlier than 8 years ago, without taking into account the ages of the spouses. Why exactly 8, not 5 or 6?
Psychologists and sociologists argue that couples at the turn of 7 years most often break up. Therefore, during this period, they need special support from outside, both material and psychological.
All that I have expressed is IMHO. But it has the right to exist, read and discuss.