Perhaps everyone once wondered: what does a person need for happiness? A lot of money, a successful career, excellent study ... and also a family, children, a big house and a dog. Or health, sober husband, faithful wife? Or maybe just a little? Or just a lot? And then it turns out that a single formula for happiness does not exist. Everyone will see in him something of their own, painful, something that he lacks precisely in this period of his life.
Happiness is not in money?
There is a lot of joke about the fact that happiness is in money or not in it. Of course, living with money is easier, but is it happier? How many examples of strange entertainments of rich people, their craving for adrenaline, danger, prohibition. And all from the feeling of satiety, when earned (or inherited) money is enough for any whims. Nowhere to strive, nothing to achieve - boring. On the other hand, the situation “from paycheck to paycheck” does not lead to a cloudless existence. So how much money do you need for happiness? Perhaps, nevertheless, not at all, or to be more precise, a sense of happiness with money, if connected, then indirectly. And a lot of films have been shot on this subject, and books have been written, and real life constantly throws up examples. Then it involuntarily comes to mind and comes the saying about paradise and hut.
Happiness - in love, family, children?
Perhaps this postulate is the most common among people. And this is not even accidental, because the needs for procreation, for belonging to someone (read: in the family) are basic. Well, the female nature requires that there be a spouse, children. It turns out that their presence in life should already make people happy? But no, and here it is not so simple. There is no need to talk about betrayals, domestic violence, quarrels, scandals, disappointment, crises of family life . But there are still loners by nature, even according to statistics there are no more than three percent of them. And there are those who knowingly do not want to have children - childfree. But is it worth saying that they are unhappy? Of course not! Rather, the presence of a couple and / or children will be perceived by them as a threat to a cloudless existence. It turns out that there is no single recipe for happiness .
Is health the main thing?
So maybe what is needed for happiness is good health? After all, they say the same: it would be health, everything else will follow. But then what about people with disabilities? Among them are successful professionals, happy mothers, fathers, beloved spouses. And older people who have lost their health, a priori go into the category of unhappy? But this is not so! There are those who, even in old age, feel happy and die with a smile on their lips.
Happinnes exists?
It turns out that each of the “components” of a cloudless life necessarily has some kind of “but”. In that case, what is needed for happiness? Or maybe he is not at all? Rather, happiness is in harmony. Between our desires, opportunities, emotions. The moment this harmony comes, a person feels happy. But as soon as the balance disappears, the feeling of happiness is lost. It is in our head, in invented, and sometimes far-fetched complexes, desires, dreams. Our fears, anxieties, hyperresponsibility, desire to be in time everywhere and everywhere hinder us from feeling happiness. Often he is hindered by a self-hypnosis of guilt when a person puts “blocks” on his own. “It’s my fault, do I have the right to be happy after that? Not!" - subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) we deduce, and do not allow ourselves to smile, love, be loved, happy. A kind of voluntary masochism.
Therefore, the first thing that is necessary for happiness is to stop practicing self-discipline. No matter how pathetic and trite it may sound, but happiness is really in ourselves. If a person likes to feel unhappy - he will be just like that no matter what others do or say, whatever happens in his life. But nothing can prevent him from the opposite.
Secondly, you need to set yourself real goals. For example, if you convince yourself that you need a cup of coffee in the morning to be happy, most likely you will indeed feel inner harmony while drinking an invigorating drink for breakfast. But if you are sure that what is needed for happiness is to be born in a family of wealthy parents or, for example, to get the moon out of heaven, then a person will feel unhappy from the realization of a pipe dream. And it’s not at all that desires should be more mundane. More likely adequate and achievable.
In the end, man is indeed the smith of his personal happiness. It is, and this fact is not in doubt. However, what is needed for happiness, everyone determines for himself. The main thing is not to forget in pursuit of it that happiness should not be the end goal (what we are striving for), but the process itself (what is happening to us).