The name of the American journalist Pamela Druckerman became widely known after she shared in her books the secrets of education from Paris. One of the books instantly became a bestseller and was translated into 28 languages, while the second, for three consecutive years, remained at the top of the list of The New York Times.
A bit about the author
Pamela Druckerman (photo above) was born in 1970 in New York. She studied philosophy at Colgate University and received a master's degree in international relations from Columbia University. She was a member of the Council on Foreign Relations and studied improvisational comedy. She was a frequent guest on ABC on Good Morning America, NBC Today, on National Public Radio, BBC, and elsewhere.
Pamela collaborated with The Washington Post, Vanity Fair France, The Guardian, The Financial Times, and many others. From 1997 to 2002, she worked as a reporter for The Wall Street Journal in Buenos Aires, SĆ£o Paulo and New York, where she covered economic and political issues. As a journalist she visited Moscow, Johannesburg, Tokyo and Jerusalem. In 2002, while on a business trip to Buenos Aires, she met her future husband Simon Cooper, a British journalist and writer.
Life in France
A few months after meeting her, she moved with Simon to Paris, where they still live. The idea to write a book about parenting came to her when she and her husband and their one and a half year old daughter came to the cafe. She noticed that the French kids, unlike their child, did not throw food, did not run around the restaurant and ate a variety of food, and their parents sat quietly and talked. Pamela realized that the French have a different attitude to raising children than Americans.
Pamela grew up in Miami, Florida. My father worked in advertising, my mother was the owner of a fashion boutique. Pamela loves France and laughs at the thought of returning to the United States. But there are things that she misses. She misses the place where she grew up, where many people she knew remain, where her family lives. The children of Pamela Druckerman, a daughter and twin sons, grew up in France, but Pamela still looks at everything āwith the eyes of an American.ā
Literary debut
The first published book was Lust in Translation. An entertaining book in which the author talks about his fascinating study - how in different countries of the world they relate to infidelity. For example, Americans are less skilled in such matters and suffer greatly from this. Russian spouses do not consider resort romance a betrayal, and South Africans are sure that drunkenness can serve as an excuse for extramarital sex. Lust in Translation is a fun and fact-filled world infidelity tour that combines the authorās literary talent and carefully crafted moral code.
For those over 40
The last book of Pamela Druckerman There Are No Grown-ups will answer questions from middle-aged readers. The author talks about the transition period, which many do not understand and do not accept. In the book, she not only talks about middle-aged people, the problems they face, but also gives practical recommendations. The author disposes to himself that he frankly talks about his family, husband and children. About how she was faced with a terrible diagnosis, cancer. As could not give up, and the family has become a reliable support.
There Are No Grown-ups are partly memoirs, partly very witty recommendations on how to live after 40. The book is written in easy language, in a playful way, but has a rich evidence base. Pamela says: before taking up this book, she studied a lot of literature on this topic.
I went beyond my comfort zone. But to write, you have to be honest. Otherwise it will not work.
A bolt from the blue
Particularly difficult was the chapter in which Pamela Druckerman talked about how she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, about the subsequent chemotherapy and immunotherapy. āIt's hard, but I could not leave it unattended because it was very important.ā Pamela shares her experiences and says she survived the shock. She received the support of friends who once had health problems. Nevertheless, she herself was surprised when she was able to share this part of her biography.
Pamela Druckerman says that the inspiration for this book was also a visit to the cafe, as in books about parenting. Pamela drew attention to the fact that the waiters called her "Madame", and not "Mademoiselle." āIt was like an impending storm,ā Pamela recalls. āLike thunder from a clear sky. There was a period when they called āMadameā, as if in a playful form, and winked at the same time. And then I suddenly became just āMadameā. How to imprinted on the chair with this word. The realization that Iām actually Madame came later. ā
French Secrets
Probably, many are wondering who Pamela Druckerman is to write a book about experiences āfor 40ā? After all, she is not a psychologist. This decision did not come immediately. At first, she shared in a column for the New York Times her experiences with readers, but did not think that this question was interesting to many. That almost all those over 40 are afraid of old age. Feel awkward at how they look. āI saw that this topic resonates with people, itās nice that people read what I wrote, discuss, share their stories and tips.ā Then Pamela began to look at the impressions and opinions of famous people - Dante, Schopenhauer, Aristotle and many others. Some write that this is the best time of life, a āreference pointā from which a person begins to change. Others say that you need to take everything as it is, and be positive about changes in your life.
Pamela Druckerman decided to write a book, focusing on the physical and emotional changes that people experience and she herself at the age of forty. How they affect marriage, friendship, parenting, clothing choice and other aspects of life. The authorās research is intertwined with scientific facts, testimonies of acquaintances and friends. And of course, the main value of the book is that the author talks about French culture.
At this age, they feel very comfortable, know how to āage beautifullyā. In France, it is believed that "women of any age have a charm." French women have a special approach not only to the choice of clothes, but also a completely different approach to their body. In America, for example, it is customary to speak negatively of him, but in France a woman, even knowing that she has imperfect proportions, understands and knows what is attractive in her, knows how to emphasize this and feels great.
French education
The author of the book āFrench Children Do Not Spit Food,ā a New Yorker, had a lot of time talking with exhausted, sleepless young mothers. After the birth of a child, Pamela Druckerman herself experienced all these ācharmsā on herself. Having moved to France, she seemed to be in another world where children, without waking up, slept all night, went to kindergarten from nine months, ate a variety of foods and did not indulge in meals. Their mothers did not look tired, they lived their own lives.
The journalistic vein affected, and Pamela, a desperate mother at that moment, decided to reveal the secret of French education. She asked neighbors, acquaintances, colleagues, doctors and educators about their methods. Pamela came to the conclusion that they fluctuate between āextremely strictā and āshockingly permissiveā. But the result was impressive! Parents did not raise their voices, the children grew calm, patient and coped with disappointment on their own.
Different education
Unlike her grueling, sometimes stormy, āAmericanā upbringing, the French seemed to be helped by some āinvisibleā force, which turned the upbringing into a light breeze. Pamela Druckerman conducted surveys and it turned out that mothers in Ohio or Princeton found parenthood many times more unpleasant than mothers in Rennes. During trips to America, she interviewed experts, observed the behavior of children and parents.
Pamela decided to write a book about American methods of education and French, their pros and cons. The result was a witty and informative manual on parenting. In no case does the author try to āteachā parents, she simply sets out the facts and describes her experience, pain and struggle. Pamela Druckerman sets out in an easy and accessible form two alternative methods: French - calm and pleasant, and āAmericanā - intense and debilitating. And invites its readers to make their own choices.
Secrets of French Education
Druckerman was disappointed to find that the French mothers with whom she wanted to make friends were not particularly friends with other mothers. They had better things to do. This is the answer: the French know how to enjoy life. And it starts almost from birth.
When a child cries at night, his parents watch him for several minutes. They know the two-hour phases of sleep, between which the baby wakes up and falls asleep. They give him the opportunity to calm down and fall asleep. If, jumping to the cry of the child, the parents immediately pick him up, he will wake up. And itās his parents who teach him to wake up. Result? According to Pamela Druckerman, French children often sleep peacefully all night from two months.
French babies know how to wait - they are patient when the time between feedings increases; they donāt ask for food right next to the supermarket checkout, but calmly wait while their mother is talking to someone. Even in restaurants, kids are gradually waiting for their portion. Isn't that a dream? But it is precisely this expectation that is the first lesson of independence. A child is able to learn and cope with disappointment, you just need to believe it.
The French āparenting titans,ā Rousseau, Piaget, and Francoise Dolto, argue that children are intelligent and āunderstand the language from birth.ā They just need a "framework" that sets limits, but "give them complete freedom within these limits." This is a complex mixture, but the main thing is not to be afraid to suppress the "self-expression" of the child. The French believe that āchildren must learn to cope with disappointmentā and the word ānoā saves children āfrom the tyranny of their own desires.ā
French parents
Druckerman was shocked when she returned to America for a while and saw how American mothers followed their babies around the playground, loudly commenting on all their movements. French mothers are sitting on the edge of the playground, talking quietly with friends, leaving the kids to get along with other children on their own and get to know the playground.
They are just as calm about pregnancy. Neither the press nor the television tell them about the bad scenarios. On the contrary, they are recommended calm. There are no warnings about harmful products, sex, or the desire for a natural birth. 87% of French women give birth with anesthesia and do not seem to be worried. France at times surpasses England and the United States in almost all indicators of maternal and child health. And even pregnant French women lose weight: for them, craving for food is āa nuisance that needs to be defeatedā, and not indulgence, because āthe fetus wants a piece of cakeā.
The French respect the profession of an educator - working in kindergarten is considered admirable for a career and requires a degree. The author tells in the book about everything that he sees, about all the little things relating to the upbringing of the child and in an exciting way shares his impressions with readers. The journalist Pamela brings her irresistible combination of wit, humility, curiosity and insight into the book āFrench Parents Don't Surrenderā.
As readers write in the reviews, Pamela Druckerman is more compact here, in the form of 100 practical tips, talks about what she shared in the book āFrench children do not spit food.ā A bonus is an approximate weekly menu with pretty cute recipes for the whole family.