Reviews of "The Fascination of Femininity" by Helen Andeline inspire many women to become familiar with this book. This is the guide of the famous American writer, who devoted her whole life to making the female share better. In this article we will present the biography of the writer, a brief summary of her most famous work, and readers' feedback.
About the book
In reviews of "The Enchantment of Femininity" by Helen Andeline, numerous readers who have already become acquainted with this work, say that this is an amazing guide that can make life better.
The author claims that she knows how to make a woman more attractive in men's eyes, and her marriage is more successful. She answers an important question that has plagued many women for many years: what is the happiness of a married woman?
Helen Andeline’s book, The Fascination of Femininity, is a bestselling book that was released in 1963 and remains popular today. The book gave rise to a mass movement in America that ran counter to the feminist sentiments of the time. The work was based on the idea that a woman should traditionally be the mother and guardian of the hearth. Representations of this movement are still preserved not only in the USA, but also in Australia, Japan, South Africa, Mexico and the Philippines.
In 2000, the first online course appeared based on this book. She herself is currently sold with a total circulation of more than four million copies, translated into many languages of the world, including Russian. By the way, Helen Andelin, whose photo is presented in the review, had her own website on which she gave advice on motherhood and marriage.
The author promises that he will tell you exactly what features of a man are considered irresistible in a woman, how to awaken a real deep and strong feeling in a spouse, to spark a new love in marriage. Additionally, tips are given for a working wife. The book "The Charm of Femininity" by Helen Andelin is addressed to a new generation of women. Those who seek to maximize their potential, be charming and loved.
Author
Helen Andeline was born in Arizona in 1920. As a teenager, she worked part time at a store and hotel that belonged to her parents. After graduating from high school, she studied at Brigham Young University, specializing in home economics. This is a popular area of research in the United States that focuses on the study of family relationships, the interaction between the environments and communities in which they live.
An important event, as is known from the biography of Helen Andelin, occurred when she studied at the university. She met her future husband. His name was Aubrey Passy Andeline. He was a graduate of the School of Dentistry at the University of Southern California. In total, eight children were born to them - four sons and daughters.
Helen Andeline’s book, The Charm of Femininity, has become her most famous, but not the only work. She also wrote the works "All About Children", "Charming Girl". Books by Helen Andeline were very popular, well-known American journalists interviewed her. The writer was visiting Larry King, Michael Douglas, Barbara Walters, Phil Donahue. Helen Andelin became recognizable, her work brought her national fame.
In 1998, Andeline began to develop her ideas on the Internet. In 1999, her husband died, which was a serious blow for Helen Andelin. She practically stopped communicating with the public.
In 2009, she died at the age of 89 at the home of one of her daughters in Missouri. Her movement is now led by her daughter Dixie, who in 2018 wrote a sequel to her mother’s most famous book entitled “Fascinating Femininity for an Eternal Woman,” focusing on contemporary realities.
Edition in Russia
After reading the full Charm of Femininity by Helen Andelin, you will become acquainted in detail with all the ideas and ideas formulated by the author.
This work consists of several chapters called “unearthly love”, “The ideal woman from the point of view of men”, “Angelic qualities”, “Accept him as he is”, “Appreciate the husband, look at his best side”, “ Admire your husband. " The Charm of Femininity table of contents gives a complete picture of what this work can teach you.
In our country, this work has been repeatedly reprinted, especially it has become popular in recent years. Once again, the book Helen Andelin published the publishing house "Exmo", this happened in 2017.
Summary
When studying the full “Fascination of Femininity” by Helen Andelin, readers pay great attention to the rules of relations with men. The author advises to accept them as they are, to appreciate the best qualities and be sure to admire. It is important to allow a man to consider himself a leader, to manage home finances.
First of all, according to Andelin, men should value intelligence, character and everything that he does for his wife. For a wife, the priorities in life should be the husband, children and home. Only then are appearances, parents, careers and friends located on this list. Using quotes from the book "The Charm of Femininity", you can get an idea of which author represents the ideal family. In particular, she writes:
The main thing for a woman in marriage is to be loved, but for a man the main thing is to see admiration in the eyes of the wife.
Of great importance in marriage is the distribution of roles. The man should be the head of the family, the breadwinner and the defenders, and the woman should be the wife, mother and housewife. It is widely believed that even now, young spouses should study the “Fascination of Femininity” in order to know how to behave in a marriage.
A separate section is devoted to how to become obedient. Andelin claims that for this, the wife must respect the status of the man, fully trust him, adapt, speak with the children on his side, no matter what is proposed, support in everything.
However, it is possible that a woman can give practical advice to her spouse. But this should be done in a special way. To do this, it is unobtrusively required to ask challenging and suggestive questions, to listen most actively, to share your understanding, but not to strive to demonstrate that you know more than him. This behavior is vividly illustrated by a quote from The Fascination of Femininity.
Let a man better do everything in his own way and make a mistake than stand in his way and argue against him.
It is important to help a man. To do this, reduce costs, not require him to spend more time with you, to use the charm of his femininity. In family affairs, a man should be responsible for the distribution of money and financial security, and a woman for frugality, I agree on all my plans.
Perfect wife
Much attention is paid to the qualities of an ideal wife. Separately, it is noted that it is important to do your job well, not limited only to the performance of your duty. Carefully manage your time and money. Warm the whole house with its warmth, respect homework, finding satisfaction in it.
To find happiness in household chores, you should not take on too much obligation, as well as find another field for yourself.
The basic principles of the correct organization of the household include focus, the ability to put everything in its place, clearly define the types of work and their sequence, prioritize, create a comfortable and cozy atmosphere for the spouse.
The priority should be motherhood. A woman should show sacrifice, have many children. An important aspect is the timely preparation of tasty and wholesome food, the home dress should always be beautiful and charming.
At the same time, it is important that the woman does not limit herself to the household. At the same time, the development of one's own talents should not distract from the family, which still remains in priority in the first place. The worst thing, as Andelin believed, was the desire to go to work.
Caring for well-being in the home, much attention should be paid to maintaining femininity. In this case, the author gives specific advice. For example, wear clothes made of cotton or soft fabrics in pastel and saturated colors. Strict style should be avoided. Pants are allowed only if they are embroidered in a feminine style. Accessories should be appropriate - jewelry, bright scarves, bags should not resemble men's briefcases.
Modesty should be in everything so as not to attract the attention of strangers. Therefore, the body should be covered as much as possible.
A separate section is devoted to feminine manners. It is not allowed to make rude and abrupt movements, it is necessary to ensure that the tread is not heavy, and the voice is too business and loud. Do not allow vulgar manners in behavior, for example, laughing too loudly. Scratching, picking in the nose, blowing out in public do not correspond to femininity.
At the same time, you should not pat your husband on the back with strangers, loudly laugh at jokes, champ and sloppily eat, throw your head back when you drink, cross your legs or sit with your legs spread.
She attributes softness, weakness and delicacy to the characteristics of female nature. It is important to be gullible, obedient, easy to adapt to changing circumstances. A woman should be gentle and fearful, not be shy to demonstrate her natural fears.
In maintaining a healthy family, it is important what role a woman plays. Andelin believed that the real mistress should not work. This should be done only in extreme cases:
- urgent need for money;
- the need for the husband to upgrade qualifications or study;
- reaching adulthood, when children grew up and started their own families, there was a lot of free time that you don’t want to waste, but be useful.
At the same time, a woman should not go to work to help her husband solve temporary financial problems or provide a more comfortable life for herself, because of boredom, trying to ease her husband’s burden.
Do not prepare for the career of your daughters. Because of this, they can become too independent, they will get an easy way to resolve problems in marriage through divorce. Obtaining a formal education will deprive a woman of the opportunity to become an ideal mother and wife.
Andelin saw one harm in her work. For a man, this meant a decrease in exactingness for himself, for a woman - a renunciation of femininity, the acquisition of some masculine qualities and independence. This is also harmful for children, as they begin to miss maternal affection and care. Finally, this is unacceptable to the whole society, as it harms the economy. Employers begin to lower rates so that the family lives on two salaries, instead of raising salaries for representatives of the strong half of humanity so that they can feed loved ones alone.
Andelin saw the decision in a final refusal of work and frugality. The family needs to sell all the excess, leaving only the most necessary, to abandon the holidays and rest, eat modestly, have a minimum amount of clothing that can be purchased in second-class stores.
Family happiness
Success in family life, the author calls the concept of "radiant happiness." This is a pleasant mood, the ability to cheer up yourself and others. It is in this that the real female charm manifests itself, which men appreciate so much.
In order to find radiant happiness, you yourself should remain happy, make conscious efforts, smile, bringing joy to others. Moreover, smile even in difficult circumstances during the days of disasters and problems. It is important to monitor your well-being.
To maintain good health, you should eat right. A woman's diet should be half composed of fruits and vegetables, and a quarter should consist of cereals. It should contain 10% of fish or meat and dairy products, cottage cheese or eggs. Sweet should not exceed 5%. Do not eat processed foods and fried foods. It is important to get enough sleep: go to bed at 22 o’clock, and get up at 6 in the morning. Go in for sports for at least half an hour a day, give a load on the muscles and heart to lower heart rate, normalize blood pressure, and reduce the amount of food consumed. Drink as much clean water as possible, often breathe moist and fresh air. Always maintain a positive attitude, monitor your weight, be able to cope with internal problems.
How to be offended?
For well-being in the family, you need to learn how to express your anger with childlike spontaneity. In this case, the character should not appear feelings of rejection, resentment, hatred or causticity, as well as any other emotions. Categorical statements should be avoided.
To learn the right manners, it is recommended to observe how a little girl behaves. If a woman is upset with something, Andelin advised her to raise her shoulders and chin, to keep her arms wide, open her eyes and raise her eyebrows in surprise. With the manifestation of critical emotions, you can begin to beat your husband with a fist on the chest, while carefully monitoring his reaction, since all this should be a game on him, to make an impression.
Use as many definitions as possible in the conversation. Describing a man, use the words "strong", "stubborn", "tough", "intractable." But never say "underdeveloped", "small", "weak", "dumb", "despicable." You can exaggerate his actions committed in relation to you and the children, permissible "childhood threats", but only expressed with sacrifice and sincerity on his face.
You can get angry in those cases when you have done unfairly with your family, but you can’t show anger because of mistakes in the husband’s affairs, his problems at work, for example, dismissal. You can not be angry with him because of mistakes in calculating the family budget, or failure to fulfill household chores. All this aims to free oneself from anxious feelings, to get rid of feelings of pain, while preserving charm and dignity. Anger should be expressed only at extreme degrees of resentment, not pay attention to little things, react violently only on really serious occasions.
Serious resentment against her husband included Andeline's insults or physical abuse, infidelity, unwillingness to provide for her family, insulting neglect, lack of respect for the woman’s freedom and her rights. In these situations, you should use all possible charm, give the spouse a chance to improve. Leaving the family is only necessary if the man poses a real physical and psychological danger to the woman and the child.
In such situations, it is not so easy to control yourself, so you should learn to deal with anger. For this, a woman must grow spiritually. It is important to understand and forgive the husband, to be patient with him. He must have the right to make mistakes, have human weaknesses. You need to evaluate yourself correctly, not be offended by comments and criticism. If you start to get angry, then express children's anger, and if your husband is angry, then show a childish reaction.
The latter is based on an exaggeration of negative aspects in the behavior of men. At the same time, you can distract his attention to foreign objects, change the topic of conversation, show humility in an unconditional manner. Playfulness combined with mischief will be appropriate.
If a woman needs to ask for something, then this must be done wisely. Hints, suggestions in the form of advice, ultimatums and demands are doomed to failure. Instead, you need to childishly, showing the leadership of a man and respect for him, to speak confidentially about what you need. You should not ask for something that meets only your selfish inclinations, which he cannot afford to buy, can make you neglect obligations or debt, contradict his principles and beliefs, and in the future will become a burden.
You can not ask if the spouse herself does not fully perform women's duties. For example, in house cleaning, cooking, an intimate aspect or ceases to monitor their appearance.
What should a wife be like?
In discussions about the features in the behavior of the spouse, Andelin noted that a woman should not show sacrifice. This only harms the relationship, as it will never be appreciated. Sacrifice is possible only in emergency and special situations; in all other cases, sacrifice deprives the husband of the opportunity to serve. At the same time, he must do something for you, give, and you accept. You should always remember that a man does not have read thoughts.
It is important to learn to show children's joy. Search for happiness in the simplest things, rain, sun, grass. Any even the most insignificant gift and little things to accept with childish enthusiasm. Exaggeration in such a situation will only be beneficial. It is important to express appreciation, sincere tears of joy and love.
Many spouses regularly have to deal with gift problems. You need to get used to the fact that inattention on the part of a man is the norm, no matter how sad it may be. He gives gifts only when he considers it necessary, and not when it is due or expected from him. When a gift is not like, you can not demonstrate it. It is not the thing itself that should be valued, but the fact of the gift and the giver.
In an intimate life, it is important to show style and grooming. Keep track of your wardrobe, current hairdo, attractive makeup. Andeline devotes an entire section to sex. She considers it the destiny of only married couples. This principle should be embedded in the hearts and minds of their children. At the same time, sexual life with a husband should be kept clean. We must refrain from visiting frank performances, watching vulgar films, pornographic magazines and books.
The frequency of sex should be determined jointly. In this case, a woman should not each time agree to intimacy, otherwise she will cease to be valued, a man will have possessive feelings. Be sure to refrain from intimacy in the event of a serious offense.
During sex, you should abstract away from extraneous problems, do not bother with unnecessary things. Monitor the awakening of your feelings in this area. Excellent health, proper nutrition, healthy sleep and moderate physical activity will contribute to this. Herbs should be resorted to in exceptional cases and as carefully as possible so as not to harm.
If the husband pays special attention to sex, one should accept his passionate nature as an inevitable given. In doing so, try to avoid sensory arousal. To do this, do not kiss and hug him again, do not change clothes in his presence, take away frank books and films. It is important to satisfy his emotional needs. Admire him and value every minute spent together. To do everything to raise the level of his self-esteem.
Married couples who have been together for many years are faced with a problem such as impotence in men. For a woman, the most important thing in such a situation is to show compassion and understanding. Then the problem can be solved if it is based on psychological and emotional problems, not physical ones.
The causes of sensory impotence can be many. This is a distortion of the inner world of men. For example, when he experienced humiliation. In such a situation, one must especially often admire his achievements and advantages, and raise his self-esteem. As a supporting factor, dietary supplements in the form of walnuts, honey, cheeses, garlic, onions, spicy sauces in main dishes and salads are suitable.
Impotence can occur due to a great desire to build a career. Too high goals set for themselves, and short deadlines for their implementation lead to serious overstrain. Help in this situation may consist in taking these circumstances for granted, waiting for the moment when the desired goal is nevertheless achieved. Prior to this, show patience and understanding.
The problem may lie in the lack of wife's activity in the field of sex. Existing problems can be aggravated by excessive initiative. Do not be too intrusive and aggressive.
Reviews
Judging by the reviews of the book "The Charm of Femininity" by Helen Andelin, the attitude towards the author is rather ambiguous, despite the fact that the writer has many fans. They claim that this work really helped them in life.
Moreover, reviews of The Charm of Femininity often emphasize that in a modern, equitable world, the book presents too patriarchal views. It says a lot about submission to her husband, respecting the traditions of classical femininity. In the reviews of “The Fascination of Femininity”, Helen Andelin emphasizes that the described female manners and perception of appearance are considered by some to be strange in the modern world, not appropriate to the surrounding situation.
The book is especially popular with conservative Christians. Since Orthodoxy is widespread in Russia, there are many positive reviews about the "Charm of Femininity" by Helen Andelin and from our compatriots.
At the same time, believers have enough claims. In particular, in the reviews of Helen Andelin, they accuse them of describing the woman’s excessively vulgar and free behavior in marriage, especially in terms of sexuality.
Catch phrase
The title of the book, Andeline, became so popular that over time it turned into a popular expression. Today it is used even in related fields.
For example, in 2018-2019, the exhibition "The Charm of Femininity" was opened in the exhibition hall of the Assumption Belfry of the Moscow Kremlin Museum. This is a retrospective of the works of the famous Italian house Bulgari, presented on the market for more than 130 years. In the collection of more than five hundred jewelry.
Here you can clearly trace the history of the design evolution of this Italian house, whose creative heritage is considered a bright page in the history of world jewelry art of the last century.