Raising children without screaming, threats and blows is probably something that any mother dreams so much about. Every woman wants to learn this. Today we will learn how to grow a personality. Education without screaming, cursing, beating, punishment is possible, and all the secrets and subtleties of this process are set forth in this article. On the part of parents, only attention is necessary and, of course, the application of all methods. And then they will succeed in shaping the personality of their daughter or son.
Three whales on which to build the correct process of exposure to the baby
The first thing parents think about with the phrase: raising a child is punishment, and their form may be different. For example, a ban on playing at a computer, watching TV, identifying crumbs in a corner. Although many mothers and fathers know that this is not the right way, and they try to change something, but as soon as their child again does everything wrong, the problem remains unresolved. And the catch is that they do not know how to raise a child correctly without such unpleasant and undesirable measures. However, everything is actually very simple.
Features of raising children without punishment and screaming come down to the following basics:
- Personal example.
- Explanations
- Demonstration of emotions.
Personal example
How to raise children without screams and punishments if the baby imitates the actions of their parents and repeats bad words and actions after them? To begin with, mom and dad must realize that they are not just an example for their sons and daughters, an ideal to strive for. The child constantly observes how parents behave at home, in the circle of friends, how they communicate with each other and other people, how they eat, relax, etc.
And all the actions performed by the father and mother help the baby look at the big picture and understand what is good and what is not and how to behave in different situations.
Before punishing or scolding a child for, for example, sitting on a toy pot for a long time, dad should think about how much time it takes him to do this and whether he takes a newspaper, crosswords with him to the lavatory. Mom, for example, should not criticize the baby for watching TV for a long time if she spends days in front of a blue screen. And these are just two examples, and so it is necessary to draw a parallel in all other situations, and only when the parents understand and begin to correct their mistakes, they can begin education without punishment. The secrets of parenting are not really any secret or mystery. Everything basically lies in the behavior and actions of mom and dad, so you need to start with yourself.
Explanations
How to raise a child without shouting and punishment, if, for example, he deliberately throws your phone into the water or accidentally takes a tablet, drops it and it cracks? In fact, the culprit in this situation is not the child, but mom or dad. Of course, things are already broken and cannot be repaired in any way, but if you value them, then why could your boy or girl easily take them? You just need to hide such objects away from children, and then many problems will be solved.
And the second point - how to raise a child without punishing him for such a seemingly serious misconduct? You just need to talk with your baby and explain that there are things that he should not touch, even if you really want to. That parents worked for a very long time, tired, in order to buy this or that item in the house. And you need to talk with the baby calmly, without screaming, tantrums, and you yourself will be surprised how this will affect the child. After all, mom and dad are talking to him like an adult, which means that he will try to behave properly and next time he will not go where he does not need to.
Showcase emotions
Showing your true feelings is the most acceptable punishment without screaming or reproaching. How to raise a child in this case, if he does not understand your words and only defining him into a corner or screams are now in effect? In fact, in most cases it will be more effective to tell the baby that he has upset you very much, and now you are offended by him. This would be a better option than applying your usual methods of punishment. The kid will really understand what he did to you badly and next time he will think before repeating his trick again. But parents should not forget to praise their boy or girl if he or she corrected the situation and asked for forgiveness. After all, this is also a very important moment in education.
A demonstration of emotions will be relevant specifically for dads, because they mostly talk about the fact that men do not cry and should not show their touching feelings. However, how to raise children without shouting and punishment, and even without the manifestation of their feelings? It's impossible. Emotions play an important role in the formation of personality without the use of physical retribution and other sanctions.
Secrets about how to raise a child without screaming: briefly on the main thing
1. If such a strong and harsh sound of a voice is justified, the parent must consider that a baby under three years old will not understand this reaction and will consider this an acceptable behavior.
2. If the baby stubbornly does his own thing, then try to explain to him differently, show him with examples that he will understand.
3. How to raise a child without screaming and punishment, if this harsh sound of a voice comes from the internal problems of father or mother? The parent needs to turn to a psychologist for help, and he will certainly help to cope with this situation. After all, using a scream, you only increase the abyss between yourself and the child.
4. It is necessary to distinguish increased tone from hysterical. Angry intonation will make it clear to the child what he did wrong, and will give him a chance to explain everything and correct the mistake. But the scream will only frighten your child and the baby may even have a fright, panic, he will begin to cry. And even after he calms down, he still will not be able to understand what happened.
5. Shouting at a child for trifling misconduct is fundamentally wrong. The kid can decide that this is the norm in communication and will soon behave in the same way.
6. Try not to use such a strong and harsh sound of voice in communication with your family members. How to raise a child without using this line of behavior? A calm tone, a firm stance, the ability to make concessions are exactly what you need. We must not forget that the cry affects the nervous system, and you must also remember: this measure inevitably leads to cancer, asthma and other dangerous diseases.
How to raise a child without screams and punishments: ideas and secrets for parents
The following tips will be justified and they will help to ensure that the child becomes obedient, non-capricious and cultured:
1. Setting leadership.
2. The definition of the boundaries of permitted and prohibited behavior.
3. Compliance with the rules.
4. Methods of promotion.
5. Education for responsibility.
6. Ignoring tantrums.
Championship setup
In the family, the leader in relations with the baby should be mom or dad, and the child should be a slave, and in no case not vice versa. If the baby, at the age of 3 or 4, imposes his desires on his parents, then he is spoiled. And before it’s too late, mom and dad should try to correct the situation, so as not to break down on the child and use force, rudeness and screaming towards him.
From the age of three, boys and girls should know that parents can not always meet them, therefore, it is necessary to teach them to correctly assess the situation and not sit on their heads by adults.
How to educate a baby without punishment? Initially, it is necessary at an early age (1.5 - 2 years) to prioritize correctly the relations between mom, dad and baby.
Defining the boundaries of prohibited and prohibited behavior
How to properly form a child’s personality, so that the child will forever understand how you can and cannot behave? It is necessary to establish clear boundaries of forbidden and forbidden behavior.
Logicism, consistency - the principles that parents must follow, wanting to bring up a peanut without whipping the belt and other methods.
If, for example, yesterday it was allowed to pull the cat’s tail, then today and tomorrow it is also possible. Otherwise, the kids will be baffled, confused and begin to specially focus.
A clear definition of the prohibitions makes life easier for the baby, and their removal for a while only complicates it.
To understand which behavior is acceptable and which is not, you need to focus on personal comfort. If the baby’s actions are unpleasant for you (for example, the baby starts jumping on his father’s belly and the longer it jumps, the more painful it becomes for his father), they cause discomfort, it must be limited, that is, forbidden to do so. However, in no case do not shout: "It is impossible!" with a crooked face, and distract the child, explain to him that it hurts your father and then your child will understand everything and stop doing it.
Compliance with the rules
Bans and rewards are two main points that must be followed by parents.
Using the rules, the father and mother do not allow the baby to perform dangerous and forbidden actions, and thanks to stimulation, encouragement, they raise the child correctly, acceptable.
For example, if a son wishes good night and good morning to his family, then this is good and here he can be encouraged with a smile, a kind word, a kiss.
But if he falls to the floor, knocks with his feet, then this behavior can in no way be encouraged: you need to leave, leaving the boy himself or forcibly put him on his feet, put him on the bicycle - that is, show what will be the way the mother considers it right.
Accountability
How to raise a child without shouting and punishment, so that he understands that his bad actions can lead to bad consequences? It is necessary to accustom him to responsibility and thereby the crumb will realize his importance, he will know that much depends on him too.
Often, a mother justifies children's misconduct by the fact that her son or daughter still does not understand, and therefore does not bear any obligations for her behavior. And this is a vivid example of the incorrect upbringing of a child, because soon you can not do without punishments.
The feeling of responsibility is perceived by the baby when the mom and dad do not interfere and stick their nose wherever they need to (for example, they clean up after the son or daughter after he or she has played).
Therefore, in order to raise a child without screaming and punishment, then do everything possible so that your child can clean up after himself: if he made a mess in the kitchen, then let him clean it after himself; scattered toys - then he himself puts them in a box. And mother can only help a little, but in no case do the work for him.
Ignoring Tantrums
Our children are so smart that from a young age they begin to manipulate their parents. This way of managing mom is good if it is for the good. But if children's manipulations are aimed at bending an adult to themselves, then they just need to be ignored. Otherwise, it will be the upbringing not of the child, but of his parents.
In our society it is impossible to achieve something with the help of hysteria or screaming. Therefore, not paying attention to these manifestations of childish egoism, parents thereby help their child develop, learn to navigate.
If mom is wrong
There are times when parents also sin and sometimes behave differently. For example, the mother for no reason fell on the child at the moment when he needed to be sorry, or, for example, hit him and now blames himself for it. And the kids remember such situations very well, and the parent's task at this moment is to behave correctly. Namely, you need to admit your mistakes and apologize to the crumbs. You need to explain to him what you were specifically angry at and be sure to ask him for forgiveness. And do not think that asking for an apology, you will drop your authority in front of the baby. On the contrary, this way you will show the right line of behavior the next time, if the son or daughter behaves wrongly, he or she will also ask for forgiveness.
Now you know how to raise a child without shouting and punishment, you have understood the basic secrets and principles of this difficult teaching. We learned that a personal example, explanations and showing your emotions are the main keys to a successful personality formation. And no matter how terrible an act your child commits - do not rush to put him in a corner or use force against him - first figure out yourself, the situation, analyze everything thoroughly and you will probably be able to correctly get out of the situation and show your little one a great example.