If a child is afraid to sleep alone and also to remain in his room without loved ones, then, as children's psychologists say, this is the peak of the problem. The true cause of fears is hidden in the depths. A variety of causes can cause anxiety that interferes with sound sleep. Parents must be attentive to their children and try to help them so that they find peace and confidence, as well as learn to sleep alone.
Childhood fears
The child is afraid to sleep at night, because he is scared. Fears are different: some are associated with personality traits and general well-being, others are determined by society, family environment, social environment, and others are caused by the formation of the psyche or are considered age-related that are inherent in each individual.
Fear is the emotion of survival, which mobilizes all the forces of the body in front of a real or possible danger. In other words, it is a necessary emotion. When the baby grows up, parents themselves are taught to be afraid of electrical outlets, a hot iron and the like. However, if this feeling is intrusive and there are no prerequisites for it, then it negatively affects it, disturbing peace and sleep.
How to deal with fear?
First of all, mothers and fathers need to learn how to monitor their speech and emotions. Children of early and secondary school age see themselves as they are represented by relatives, that is, timid, knowing nothing. Adults forget that their child has already learned a lot, but, unfortunately, this is not recognized and is constantly being questioned. This behavior of parents and creates fears. Only understanding, love and care will help you become more confident.
Fear of the dark
Why is the child afraid to sleep alone? The most common childhood fear is fear of the dark. Many children are afraid to remain in the dark alone and lose sight of their mother or without the help of an adult it is difficult for them to calm down before going to bed. In the period and after natural feeding, this phenomenon is understandable. The reason is the baby’s close relationship with his mother, only with her does he feel protected. With age, these problems go away, and the child is left alone. However, when your child does not let his mother go, does not sleep in his bed, wakes up in the middle of the night and runs to his parents, then you should think about the reasons for this behavior.
Reasons that interfere with restful sleep
Why is the child afraid to sleep alone? Many reasons can interfere with a full sleep. Here is some of them:
- Negative news or catastrophes seen on television are put off by his anxious thoughts.
- If parents punish the child by locking them in a room without light, then they will certainly be scared and will endure their fear when the door opens.
- Scary imaginary monsters or intimidation of babies, for example, Baba Yaga, also prevent you from falling asleep. If close people tell him that they can carry him away, then he has no reason not to believe this.
- Older children are also able to scare the baby by telling terrible stories.
- Negative emotions that have arisen in recent years can develop into fear and bring down a child’s sleep.
- An emotionally oversaturated day, including an overabundance of positive emotions, provokes a restless sleep.
- Nightmares can scare both the baby and the teenager.
- Conflicts with peers or teachers become a cause of poor sleep, leaving an unpleasant trace from the day.
Thus, all imaginary fears and worries experienced can develop into constant anxiety. This condition does not allow the baby to feel serene and protected. Therefore, being alone in the dark with your thoughts becomes a serious test for the child. He wants to get rid of such bad emotions as soon as possible, and parents, to whom children turn for help, can help first of all.
Fears and anxieties depending on the age of the child
Depending on the age category, nightly fears and anxieties differ:
- At two or three years old, children begin to attend kindergarten, be independent, are friends with other children. Anxiety, disturbing a dream, can also appear due to negative impressions, terrible programs, parents' contention, imaginary monsters and other things. Therefore, it is very important for mothers and fathers to communicate with the baby, reassure, find out the reason for the excitement. He must feel involved and assisted.
- A child at 6 years old is afraid to sleep alone, what is the reason? At this time, a transitional period is observed, that is, the kindergarten ends, and the school years are ahead. He makes many friends, he becomes socially active. Imagination is developed during this age period and therefore nightmares may bother him. In addition, there is a lot of excitement associated with new events, with the outside world. The task of parents is to clarify the incomprehensible, to provide support in a changing environment and to console.
- At ten to twelve years of age, a teenage recession or crisis sets in. At this time, all adverse reactions are aggravated, understanding of problems is aggravated. Inner confusion and mysterious fear arise due to quarrels with parents, mood swings, etc. Constant thoughts, fear of loneliness interfere with full sleep. It is necessary to maintain friendly relations in the family, to delve into the problems of the child, to sympathize and set up in a positive way.
How to help primary school students?
If a child began to be afraid of sleeping when he started going to school, then for children aged seven to eight years, experts offer the following method of relaxation. Lying in bed to think about what brings positive and pleasant emotions. In particular, imagine yourself running along the sand of the sea under the rays of the gentle sun. Of course, it is best to take an imaginary journey in the presence of mom, discussing what she’s seen aloud and inventing different stories or discussing imaginary pop-ups. After some time, the child will be able to do this without the participation of the parent.
The next way is to mentally expose a protective wall that will not miss the troubles or danger.
If mom has little time, and she is not able to spend a long time with her child, then you can turn on your favorite music or audio tales. However, this does not replace live communication, which gives confidence that loved ones will always come to help in the fight against fears.
When is specialist help needed?
If a child at 8 years old is afraid to sleep alone, and fears do not go away or there are obsessive phobias, it is recommended to seek help from specialists. Dreams, tantrums, restless nights, and stressful conditions may well be signs of the disorder. Tense relationships and incorrect tactics of behavior in the family circle do not allow to overcome this problem. Such questions cannot be ignored, since such a condition affects not only a good sleep, but also a child’s health. In addition, having matured, he takes with him into adulthood and his undefeated fear, along with other positive examples.
Why is the child afraid to sleep alone in the room?
From a medical point of view, the cause of this problem may be as follows:
- Immaturity of the nervous system.
- Psychological - jealousy, anxiety, suspiciousness, excessive sensitivity and more.
- The child's psychotype is an extrovert.
- Some features of the course of pregnancy and delivery.
In all of the above cases, the help of specialists is required: a child psychologist, a neurologist, a neuropsychologist.
Other common causes
The most common causes are:
- Overexcitation. A strong recovery an hour before bedtime can turn into a sleepless night.
- Fear of something new or a change in life. For example, a child at 7 years old is afraid to sleep alone, because he has a strong experience before entering school. Older children - before exams or leaving their hometown. For kindergarteners - a new bed, a long trip and more. In addition, feeling unwell can also provoke fear.
- Fear and timidity of fictional or fairy-tale characters. For example, they perceive any rustling or rustling of leaves outside the window for the appearance of monsters.
Regardless of the reasons that provoked the baby's fear of sleeping alone, parents can help. And in most cases.
What if the child is afraid to sleep alone?
To do this, there are several ways that will help maintain a positive attitude and relieve fears. Parents are not allowed to:
- Ignore the nightmares and fears of your child.
- Swear or sort things out in the presence of a child.
- Scare the negative characters who come and take him, as well as scary stories.
- Laugh at fears.
- Play along, saying that monsters really exist.
- Press on the baby. Say that he is already big and ridiculously scared of the dark.
- Read scary tales and tell terrible stories, show the same cartoons.
- Be confused or weak.
- Punish the baby by locking in a dark room.
Sometimes, a child, reporting on his fear, simply wants to attract the attention of his parents, to be alone with them, so you should not immediately send him alone to sleep. Most likely, he does not have enough care and communication.
What is the help of parents?
If the child is afraid to sleep alone in the room, then experts in the field of child psychology recommend:
- Choose a thing that symbolizes safety - sleep better with your favorite toy. In addition, mysterious words can be whispered to her, and she will keep them secret.
- He is in the next room and talking - it can be calmer for the kids when they hear a calm mother's voice outside the wall. Silence scares them and gives rise to new fears. A cage with a bird or an aquarium gives the same effect, because at night they hear sounds, like during the day, and quickly calm down.
- Pay more time to the child during the day - if during the day the baby has received enough attention, affection and care, then he will feel more relaxed at night. Fear of falling asleep appears due to a lack of attention, love and care.
- Compose a dream ritual - an hour before bedtime, it is better to complete outdoor games. Further, everything is individual, for example, drinking a glass of kefir or milk, going to the shower, brushing your teeth, listening to a tale read by your mother, hugging, and wishing good night.
- Use a nightlight - children get used to the darkness gradually. When a child is afraid to sleep alone, you should not turn off the light, close the door and leave it alone in the dark, only because you think that the baby has grown.
- Pay attention to the interior of the children's room - it is best to equip it with the child, taking into account all his wishes. Add more vibrant colors and fill all the voids with your favorite toys.
- To play with night fears during the day - the game of "blind man's glasses" in a joking manner will teach you not to be afraid of the dark. A witch's wand, laid under the bed, will protect the dream.
- If the baby woke up, it is advisable to repeat the laying ritual - when at night the scared baby came running to you, it is advisable to hug and calm him down. Then take him to your room and wait until he falls asleep, making it clear that you are nearby and will always help him.
When a child is afraid to sleep alone, then parents need to be calm, as any nervousness is transmitted to the baby, and he suffers from this. And if dad and mom say with confidence that they will defeat all the monsters together, then the baby sincerely believes in this and becomes calm.