All parents repeatedly encountered tantrums of their child. Sometimes children's "concerts" are so stormy and long that it is quite difficult to maintain self-control ... How can I calm a child in hysteria? And is this even possible? The article you are reading is based on a number of aspects of the excellent psychologist and medical doctor Ray Levy, who quite reasonably explains to parents how to calm children who become hysterical.
Our children are not yet developed enough to keep emotions and desires in check. Alas, hysteria is an attribute of childhood. And it is explained simply: your baby did not get what he wanted. For children under two years of age who do not speak the language well, hysteria is a way of communicating needs at this moment (“give a toy,” “I want to drink,” “it's time to sleep,” “change your diaper”). Older children scream in opposition. They already perfectly understand what they want, and are able to express wishes in words. What will they do if you refuse? That's right - they start screaming and sobbing. What is needed to calm a child?
Learn to ignore your child. A person during a tantrum is not in himself. Emotions suppress the area of the brain responsible for adequate assessment and decision making. You will not improve the situation in these minutes. All your good intentions will cause a new surge of negative emotions. Let the child let out anger like steam. Do not bother him. Shouting out, your child will again begin to control his thoughts, and you will get the opportunity to talk without screaming and pressure.
Distract the baby. You can always offer the baby something else - let your handbag contain toys, tasty little things, a book. Something will surely interest the child. You need to know how to calm the children down, but it’s better to “catch” the beginning of a tantrum - at this moment, your child still has attention retention. The main thing is to communicate with the child in a truly elevated tone. By the way, the situation may also work: a dog, a kitty, a passing car, a bright flower. The main thing is to switch attention in time.
You need to understand what really annoys the child. This is especially true for babies who have not reached the age of two. Their vocabulary is still quite small, communication is limited, but there are thoughts, desires and needs are growing. If a child is misunderstood, he becomes agitated, releasing discontent. Sign language can help here . Already just pointing a finger at the desired item works wonders.
Hug the baby. “Perhaps at this moment you will not be up to hugs, but believe me, this will really help calm your child!” And Levy is right. Only this is not about a gentle hug, but a strong, big one. Do it silently, otherwise you will have to re-enter the senseless war of characters.
Have your child eat or relax. Levy, talking about how to calm children, draws attention to the two largest triggers of hysteria - a feeling of hunger or fatigue. At this time, your child is already on the verge, and the slightest emotional impulse causes a new attack of anger. You, too, are more irritable when you are hungry or sleep poorly. Do not forget that crumbs are difficult to control emotions.
Offer a promotion. The annoying factor (standing in the church, sitting on the bus, waiting in line) can be suppressed by the promise of a reward for good behavior. Think of it as a kind of bribe. Such bribery is permissible, but you must dictate the conditions. If the child begins to relax, remind him of the recently concluded “contract”.
Talk calmly. Your irritated tone will only aggravate the hysteria that has begun.
Put on Mona Lisa's deadpan smile. Children are smart and feel us intuitively. If you suddenly get stressed or surrender, allowing your child to gain the upper hand, just not to draw the attention of others to the acting scene, consider that you lost: your child will quickly figure out what worked and why. Be sure: the baby will definitely leave an effective method in service. By the way, the survey showed: people do not respond to the tantrum of the child, but to the reaction of the parents. So, remaining calm externally, you will not cause condemnation of society, even if your child will scream all over the street.
Take the baby away. A change in environment often changes behavior.
As you can see, the answer to the question of how to calm children is quite simple: try to look at the world through the eyes of crumbs, understand and feel his desires and needs. Accept our advice not as a guide to action, but as topics for reflection.