“Don't run,” “don't jump,” “don't take it in your hands” - how often parents’s prohibitions are heard with the content of such statements. The child, of course, does everything with the exact opposite, and vice versa - he runs, sweeping everything in his path, jumps and grabs everything without getting into it. Why is the child not obeying? Who is to blame for his disobedience? If the child does not obey what to do?
The child does not obey what to do? - Follow the speech
The human subconscious is so arranged that the particle “NOT” is practically not perceived at all. A person consciously understands what he is being asked for, but most likely after some time has passed, he will do the opposite. For example, it is possible to experiment by asking a loved one: ask once that he “DOES NOT forget”, and in the next cut to “remember”. I assure you that the instruction with the phrase “remember” will be executed accurately and efficiently, which cannot be said about the phrase “I have not forgotten”.
We must try to replace the words with the particle "NOT." Let’s say: “don’t slam” on “close quietly”, “don’t touch” on “leave, let it lie”, etc. Initially, it will be difficult to clearly monitor the speech, but over time it will become a habit.
The child does not obey what to do? - Explain available
Very often a child’s disobedience is born of a lack of understanding of the essence of the prohibition itself: “Why is it possible for adults, but I can’t?”
All the kids are very curious, they learn about the world, objects and their properties. At the sight of mom striking a match, he also really wants to try to light a light. The child bangs a toy against the glass, he likes this new and sonorous knock. Very important in such moments is the reaction of an adult. For example, a child bangs the same toy on a wooden table - mom, without paying any attention to it, goes about her business. And when he took the toy and started tapping on the glass - my mother was horrified with shouts of “You can't!” rushing to him with all his legs. The kid will be very happy - it was he who made his mother do this. Need to repeat!
It also very often happens that a child is asked to do something, but they don’t show how. Waiting in such a situation of obedience is futile. There is no point in requiring the baby to put the toys in place if he is not only not interested, but he does not even know where this place is. But then, if mom turns this kind of cleaning into a kind of ritual, when the cars will need to be not just folded, but put into the garage, put the dolls and little animals to bed. And it will also show and help several times, no doubt, such cleaning will never cause a protest in the baby.
The child does not obey what to do? - Prohibit in moderation
Stubbornness and disobedience can occur with too many quantities and strict prohibitions. For example, a three-year-old child asks his mother:
- Mom, can I play in the yard?
- No, it's very cold there.
- Mom, can I play in the house?
“No, you can break something.”
- Mom, can I eat ice cream?
“No, you may have a sore throat ...”
The result of such dialogs will most often be Danish tears, and parents at this moment will complain about disobedience. One important rule to keep in mind is that bans must be reasonable.
When answering such important questions in education as - “The child does not obey what to do?”, “How to make the child obey?” it should be remembered that each child is individual. The child is not born naughty, so does his upbringing and the attitude of adults towards him. Each child has natural needs that we adults must always reckon with - these are the needs for affection, love, understanding, independence and freedom. To the extent, of course, there should be restrictions and rules, but it is also important that they be agreed between the parents. And you should definitely remember one very important point in education - all children are on strike not against the rules, but against the methods of their implementation!